The New Girl
by Kinetically Charmed
Summary: All Remy really wanted was another roommate to help out with the rent, when *she* phased in through the door... But you know what they say; When life hands you lemons, you make sure they're organic, and hide them from your roommates. Rated T to be safe. Will contain kiotr and romy.
1. The Girl

I do not own any Marvel characters, because if I did, I would not be writing fan fiction. I'd be rolling in a bed of money like Scrooge McDuck. Please visit my profile, where any questions regarding this story, will be answered to the best of my ability. Thanks for reading.

_**The New Girl**_

There are moments in your life when you come to a crossroads. Sometimes those moments are glaringly obvious, like a job change, or a wedding. Other times, those moments disguise themselves as non-significant occurrences; apparent coincidences with very significant results.

Remy had no way of knowing the non-significant knock on the apartment door that cool April day would be one of those crossroad moments. He could have pretended they weren't home. In fact, he probably should have, since no self respecting man would knock to the tune of _Shave and a Haircut_, and he really had to wonder what strange force had come over him prompting him to answer it.

But, as fate would have it, he did answer the door. And_ her_ grinning face was probably one of the last faces on earth he would have expected to be greeted with.

She offered a nonthreatening smile, "Long time no see."

He leaned out into the hall and glanced both ways before giving her a slightly confused once over. "You selling Girl Scout cookies, petite?"

"No," She shifted her weight uncomfortably and touched the base of her pony tail, something Remy instantly recognized as a nervous tick. "I'm here about the ad in your newspaper."

He raised an eyebrow and she shot out a breath, "_Your_ ad in_ the_ newspaper."

"... What about it?"

She blinked her big brown eyes, as if the answer should be apparent to him, "Uh, I- well you're looking for a fourth roommate, right?" She grinned to punctuate her sentence and Remy pursed his lips with a slightly condescending smirk.

"Yeah, I don't think so." He gave her a smile of condolence and moved to close the door when her foot stuck out quickly, stopping him from completing the task.

"But you haven't filled the room yet."

Remy let out a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face, scrubbing at the scruff on his chin, "Here's the thing; You're not a guy."

"You're very observant." She tapped his chest with her forefinger, "I like that in a roommate."

"Is someone here about the room?" Remy looked towards the voice with a frown to discourage him from dragging this whole situation out, when she leaned past him for a better look.

"Hot diggity, that's a nice looking TV..."

Remy gave her a disapproving frown, "Did you just say_ hot diggity_?"

Pyro raised his brows and came to a stop next to him, "Ohhhh, little Sheila come lookin' for a place to stay?" He asked with his pinky finger digging in his ear, "That's cute."

"Look, I wouldn't be here unless I was totally desperate. Could you at least give me an interview?" She pleaded with her big brown puppy dog eyes, batting her lashes for effect.

The effect was lost on Remy. "No." He said with a single head shake.

"Why not? It ain't like we've been having any luck with the dweebs who've been answering the ad." Pyro shrugged as he inspected the crud he dug out of his ear with his pinky before wiping it off on his jeans, "The last guy wasn't even wearing a shirt."

"See?" She smiled hopefully, "I'm wearing a shirt!"

Remy leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms, "That's not really helping your cause right now."

"C'mon in. What kind of gentlemen would we be if we just let you hang out in the hallway?" Pyro shoved Remy out of the way and led her inside towards the grey, overstuffed sofa in the living room. "Can I get you anything, love? Pop Tarts? Crackers?"

"No, thanks. I'm good." She sank down into the sofa and folded her hands on her lap as her eyes scanned the clean looking, utilitarian apartment.

Pyro sat next to her with his arm draped along the back of the couch behind her. He extended his other hand for her to shake and gave her a sincere smile, "We haven't_ officially_ met. Name's John, but my friends call me Pyro. Actually, my enemies call me Pyro too. So..."

"Pyro it is." She nodded and shook his hand with a tight smile.

"You remember Remy there, I guess you know him as Gambit." Pyro gestured towards him as he sat on the coffee table across from them with his arms folded. "And that there's Pete."

He jerked his head towards the hallway where their third roommate was approaching, wiping paint off his hands with a rag.

"You remember this little philly, eh Pete? She's an X-man." He stage whispered the last part and she shook her head,

"No, she _was_ an X-man." She turned back to Piotr and smiled, "Not anymore."

"She's here for the room." Pyro wagged his eyebrows with a wide grin and Piotr gave him a frown before letting out a sigh,

"Is this one of those jokes you tell that I do not get? I have told you before, it is not funny if you have to explain it." He tucked the rag into his back pocket and crossed his arms.

"Nope. No joke." Remy grunted.

"But..." Piotr frowned, "She is a girl."

"You guys are _both_ observant!" She slapped her knees with a smile, "I _like_ that. I really think this is going to work out-"

"Woah," Remy held up his hand to stop her from talking, "Why do you even want to live with us? We're enemies, remember?"

"Well, not anymore." She shrugged, "You guys aren't working for Magneto, and I'm not with the X-men."

"We've_ fought_. We've tried to kill each other." Remy rested his elbows on his knees, getting the distinct feeling that he shouldn't need to explain his reasoning to her, "What makes you think we wouldn't do it again?"

She rolled her eyes, "It was nothing personal. It's not like you were hired specifically for the purpose of taking me out, right? Honestly I trust you guys more than I'd trust complete strangers looking for a roommate." She tossed a hand in the air, "Besides, we worked together once. So that's... something..." She trailed off, letting her eyes wander around the apartment as she absently twirled her fingers through her pony tail. "It's a really nice place."

"How did you know it was us who posted the ad?" Piotr asked, looking to Remy with a frown.

"Please, it wasn't hard to figure out. _Mutant friendly house seeking fourth roommate, smokers accepted, Contact Remy_." She recited the ad from memory, "And you live one town over from Bayville? I'm no Sherlock, but you might as well have just called yourselves Acolytes right in the ad, Dr. Watson."

Remy let out a breath, "I know we've covered this but I feel like it's an important detail that's being under rated. You're a _woman_. I don't want to live with a woman."

"You obviously just haven't thought about the benefits of living with a woman, in a completely non-sexual way."

He pressed his lips together in a thin line and shook his head, "No, I think the sex is pretty much the only benefit..."

"I'm clean, I smell good, I'm quiet, you know?" She began ticking the items off on her fingers as she went, "I'm little, so it's not like I'll be eating all of your... Pop Tarts and crackers. And I make some bitchen pancakes..."

"Living with a woman is not always bad." Piotr shrugged casually, causing both Remy and Pyro to turn their attention to him with intrest.

"When did_ you_ live with a woman?" Pyro snorted.

"I have a sister." Piotr knit his brow, "This would not be any different."

"What if I want to walk around the apartment naked?" Remy raised an eyebrow, "I can't do that with a woman here."

"You cannot do that with _us_ here..." Piotr's frown deepened.

"My point **is**," Remy glared at Piotr, "That I _could_. If I wanted to."

She smirked, "Hey, don't let me stop you."

"What about my dates? When I bring a date back home, I don't want you bonding over breakfast."

"You do not bring dates home." Piotr said with a shrug, "You say it makes them clingy."

"Yes, but if I _wanted_ to." Remy huffed, "Who's side are you on, man?"

She gave him a sincere nod, "No date bonding. Check."

"The last thing I want is some girl hanging around because she feels at home. Next thing I know she's planning out our future, trying to find houses in areas with good schools..."

She continued to nod, "Got it; Bitches be crazy."

"And what about the bathroom...?" He trailed off with a frown.

She shrugged, looking over to Pyro, "Um... I'm not really sure what you're asking. I mean, as far as cleanliness goes, I'm fine as long as you guys keep tabs on your black curlies hanging around."

Remy's frown morphed into a grimace, "No, I meant your... womanly time."

Her eyebrows perked up, "What about it? Are you worried our periods will synch up if we live together? Because I gotta tell you, that _is_ a big inconvenience."

Piotr cracked a grin and Pyro slapped his knee with a bark of laughter, "I like her."

"Do you have any refrences?" Remy asked slowly, "All of our other applicants had references. It's mandatory."

"Well," She looked up towards the ceiling as she thought, "My boyfriend doesn't know I'm here. So, he wouldn't make a great reference."

"And I doubt you want us calling the mansion." Remy pressed his lips into a thin smile, "Unfortunately, we do need-"

"You could always call Rogue. She's my best friend and the only person who really knows I'm here. Not that it'll take Professor Xavier long to figure it out, but he respects my privacy." She pulled her purse onto her lap and began digging through its contents.

"Rogue?" Remy's eyebrows perked up, "She's your best friend?"

"Yeah. We were roommates against our will but we grew to appreciate one another. She'd give me an awesome reference." She nodded as she pulled her cell phone out to retrieve Rogue's number. "She's changed her cell phone number since the time you kidnapped her, so you'll need this."

Pyro snorted and Remy snatched the phone from her hand to copy the number down.

"I really don't even think we need to check references here, Sheila, you're the best candidate we've seen. You're also the only one with breasts, so that gives you the upper hand." Pyro gave her a wink.

"Really?" She smiled hopefully, "So... I got the room?"

"I do not have any objections." Piotr shrugged and turned to Remy, "You have the final vote."

Remy worked the muscles in his jaw as he weighed his options. He simply could have said no. He could have flat out refused, knowing that they had to be unanimous on this decision. His "no" vote would instantly send her on her merry way. But there was a small part of him, a tiny part really, that was keeping him from kicking her out the door.

She knit her brow and stared at him, waiting for his final judgment, "I'm a damsel in distress." The corner of her mouth quirked up, and he noticed for the first time the twinkle of hope she had in her eyes, "You could be the hero for once."

He let out a long breath and ran a hand over his face, "You better have lots of incredibly hot friends..."

"Thank you! Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I promise you won't regret this! I swear!" She gushed, throwing her arms around Pyro who welcomed her hug with great enthusiasm.

She bounded over to Piotr to give him a hug and Remy stood, jerking his head in the direction of the hallway. "I guess we should show you your room."

"Who knows, maybe having an X-man living here will come in handy." Pyro grinned, slapping Remy on the shoulder as he passed.

"Your rooms this way, Shadowcat." Remy said flatly, gesturing for her to follow him.

"Oh please," Instead of following him, she bounced over and gave him a tight hug which he reluctantly endured. When she pulled back, she offered him an excited smile, "Call me Kitty."


	2. The Kitchen

Piotr was the first of the guys to wake up the next morning, and he was welcomed in the kitchen by an overly boisterous greeting and the smell of fresh pancakes.

"How was your sleep? I had a great first night here. Sometimes I have trouble adjusting to new places, but I had no problems at all, I fell right to sleep and slept like a baby. I made some pancakes. I'm not much of a cook, but pancakes are pretty fool proof. Not that I'm a fool. But when it comes to food, just call me Dopey!" Kitty smiled when he sat down at the counter with a tired frown. "Sorry, I'm being intense. I'm not a morning person, but I wanted to make breakfast, so I made coffee. I generally don't drink coffee because it makes me super jittery, but it comes in handy sometimes, right?"

He rubbed his eyes slowly and shook his head, "You did not have to make breakfast." His deep voice sounded tired and he was doing his best to fight back a yawn.

"I know." She shrugged, flipping a pancake onto a plate, "I wanted to. Kind of like, a thank you. A preview of how awesome of a roommate I'm going to be." She set a stack of pancakes in front of him and plopped down on the counter across from him with a grin.

"You said something about coffee...?"

"Oh!" Her eyes flicked to the coffee pot for a moment before returning to him, "I drank it."

His eyebrows lifted, "You drank an entire pot of coffee?"

"Yeah, but I'm making some more."

"It is not a wonder coffee makes you jittery." He said with a small smirk before pouring syrup on his pancakes.

"Did someone say coffee?" Pyro asked, shuffling over to the kitchen as he rubbed his face in a vein attempt to wake up, "I hope someone said coffee, because I really want some coffee."

He slumped down on the stool next to Piotr and ran a hand through his flaming red hair which was standing up in a variety of different directions.

"I've got a pot on right now." Kitty informed him, dropping a stack of pancakes down in front of him with a self satisfied grin. He dug in without acknowledging the origins of the pancakes, mumbling to himself about strong coffee.

"Rough night at work?" Piotr asked and Pyro frowned, shoveling another forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

Kitty set two coffee mugs down on the counter and brought the coffee pot over to fill them up, "Where do you work?"

Pyro inhaled the scent of freshly brewed coffee with a smile and sighed, "Nowhere. Doesn't matter."

Kitty furrowed her brow and looked at Piotr, "He will not tell us." He informed her, taking a sip of his black coffee.

"I need milk." Pyro grumbled, "And sugar."

"He has had this job for nearly two months and he will still not tell us." Piotr continued, passing Pyro the sugar as Kitty retrieved the milk from the fridge.

"Hmm," She set the milk down on the counter in front of him, "If I guess right, will you tell me?"

He grunted in response and Piotr smirked.

"That's my milk." Remy said suddenly from the end of the hallway. His eyes flicked to the stack of pancakes Kitty had prepared and he frowned, "You didn't use** my** milk to make these stupid things, did you?"

"Hey!" Kitty put her hands on her hips, "I made these _stupid things_ for you!"

Remy crossed into the kitchen, scooping the cute little milk jug off the counter and mentally weighing it to determine if there was any missing, "This is organic, hormone free, skim milk. It costs three times the garbage you get in the grocery store and it only gets delivered once a week."

Pyro rolled his eyes, "_Some of us_ have more money than brains."

Remy opened the fridge and replaced the jug inside, "If you're going to be living here, we need to cover some kitchen rules."

Piotr grumbled "Here we go." Under his breath and Kitty folded her hands in her lap, giving Remy her undivided attention.

Remy pointed to the top shelf, "The red carton is Pete's milk. It's whole milk, because Piotr is a dirty farm boy who would be just as happy drinking milk directly from the cow."

Kitty cut her eyes to Piotr and he muttered something in Russian. Remy brought Kitty's attention to the second shelf and continued, "This is John's milk. It's one percent, and he only buys it because he thinks the picture of the cow on the front is hot."

"Cute!" Pyro objected, "I said _cute_!"

Remy gestured to the bottom shelf, where his milk jug was sitting, "This is** my** milk. These are** my** organically grown oranges. These are** my** un-chlorinated baby carrots. This is **my** unpasteurized yogurt. Get the picture?"

Kitty nodded silently, and Remy shut the fridge door. "My body is a temple, and I treat it as such."

"Don't touch the temple food. Check."

"Monday and Tuesday nights are my nights off work. The kitchen is off limits between 5 and 7 on those nights. I like to prepare my own meals and I don't like people hovering in my space."

Kitty slid her gaze to Pyro and he raised an eyebrow, "Still wanna bunk here?"

She smirked.

"Don't worry love," Pyro continued after with a mouthful of food, "You can use my milk. And Remy's neurosis grows on you, honest."

"I'm not neurotic, I'm just particular." Remy sat down next to Kitty with a plate of pancakes and a bowl of blueberries. "It's not my fault I'm the only one in this place who eats to be in peak performing condition."

Kitty snorted and slid the syrup over to him, "Performing condition? Geeze, where do you work? Are you like, an Olympic baton twirler or something?"

"I don't think that's the type of performing he's talking about." Pyro gave her a pointed look and she frowned,

"Ew."

"Pancakes are carbs." Piotr arched an eyebrow in the direction of Remy's plate, "I have heard your lectures on carbs."

Remy shrugged defensively, "She made the stupid thing for me. I don't want to be rude."

"A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips." Pyro teased, "Just be careful, the single moms and gay men have high standards for their eye candy. They aren't going to tip a flabby bartender quite as nicely."

"And then you will have no money to buy your organic food." Piotr pointed at him with his fork, "It is a vicious cycle."

"So you're a bartender." Kitty grinned as she poured Remy's cup of coffee, "Where?"

"_Chili's_." Pyro answered with a smirk.

"Listen, they pay well, and my customers are very gracious with their tips. Can you say that about _your_ job?" Remy lifted an eyebrow in Pyro's direction.

"I don't have customers. Shut up." Pyro snapped before bowing his head over his plate with a scowl and focusing on eating.

"I thought about being a bartender once, but I couldn't handle all the tricks. I kept dropping bottles..." Kitty said quickly as she poured herself another cup of coffee. "And I know what you're going to say, you don't need to do the bartending tricks like Tom Cruise in _Cocktail_. But if you're not going to go at it 100%, then what's the point, seriously?"

"You _thought about_ being a bartender?" Remy gave her a skeptical look which slowly morphed into a slightly concerned look, "I feel like we should have covered this earlier, but you do have a job right?"

"Well..." She hesitated for a moment and Remy's look of concern slipped into a frown. "Technically yes. I mean, my manager always gives me awful shifts because he hates me and I end up with crap tips. Plus, I'm not exactly the worlds greatest waitress... which may be why my boss hates me. But don't worry, I'll pay my rent one way or another."

"One way or another?" Remy set his fork down and turned his body to face her with a very serious stare, "I don't accept IOU's, or sexual favors."

"Speak for yourself!" Pyro chimed in, appalled by the very thought of turning away sexual favors.

Kitty scrunched up her nose and knit her brow, "Yuck. I'll get you _money_. Geeze, just don't talk about **that** anymore. I'm thinking about finding a second job anyways. I just need some... vocation ideas." She turned her attention to Piotr who had remained relatively quiet for the conversation, and plopped her chin on her fist. "What do you do?"

"I paint."

"Like... houses?"

He smiled, "Artwork."

Her eyebrows perked up with interest, "For reals? And you get _paid_?"

"Sometimes." He shrugged modestly.

"Bull shit _sometimes_." Pyro pointed at Kitty with his fork, "He's been hired by dance company to paint a bunch of ballerinas -like they've never heard of a camera before- and they're payin' him a damn pretty penny to do it too."

"Ballerinas?" Kitty's straightened up in her seat, "I wanted to be a ballerina when I was little..."

"Don't even bother Sheila," Pyro shook his head bitterly, "He won't take you to meet 'em. I've asked."

"I wanted to be a painter too, but then I realized I couldn't draw." She shrugged, "Kind of put the kibosh on that career."

"What do you want to do_ now_? You're young... you should be in school." Remy said as he finished up his pancakes.

"I'm 21. Maybe_ you_ should go to school." She snapped like an immature teenager before downing her entire mug of coffee in one big gulp.

She snatched the coffee pot away from Remy and re-filled her cup. Before she could bring it to her lips, Remy slapped his hand over her mug and slid it away from her.

"How many have you had?"

"Just a few-"

"She polished off the first pot before I woke up." Piotr said, looking back at her with an apologetic look, "You are going to give yourself an ulcer."

"You're going to give _me_ a headache." Remy moved the mug, far away from her, "I'm cutting you off."

Kitty stuck out her lower lip and pouted, "I was just getting used to the stuff. I can totally handle my coffee."

"Yeah, yeah. Likely story. Want me to call you a cab?"

The other two chuckled and Kitty frowned,

"You suck. I don't understand how you get _any_ tips at work."

He gave her a cheeky little wink and took a big gulp of coffee before saying, "I look really good in my uniform."

The conversation broke up into light chit chat while the group finished up their breakfast. After Kitty put her plate in the sink, she stretched with a content sigh,

"Well, I should go-"

"Shotgun!" Pyro shouted, clamoring off of his stool quickly enough to knock it over onto the white linoleum floor. He zipped across the living room, vaulting over the couch in a well practiced motion before disappearing down the hall and slamming the bathroom door shut behind him.

Kitty blinked at the closed door at the end of the hall with her mouth hanging open a fraction. Remy stood up and dumped his plate and mug into the sink, giving Kitty a pat on the head, "One last kitchen rule; Don't leave any dishes in the sink." He smirked when she turned her befuddled look to him, "I'm next in the bathroom."

When he disappeared into his bedroom, Kitty turned to Piotr. "What the frack?"

He smiled as he stood, putting his plate on top of Remy's in the sink. "Welcome to the apartment. You will get used to fighting for bathroom time."

"Oh, we definitely need to work out a schedule or something. This is totally not going to fly." She frowned, twisting the tap on angrily and letting the sink fill up as she searched for the dish soap.

"A schedule." Piotr let out a laugh, pulling the dish soap out of the cupboard under the sink and setting it on the counter for her. "Good luck with that, Katya."


	3. The Friend

_A/N- Thanks for your support and reviews! To those of you who may have asked questions, please visit my profile for your answers. :)_

* * *

It had been a long, bad night at _Chili's_. There were three birthday parties at the restaurant, and_ all_ employees are required to sing and clap along with that stupid birthday song. The last party to come in decided that last call meant, 'nurse your beer until an hour past closing', and a gay man in his mid fourties -one of his regulars- drank a little too much and got a little fresh.

It was definitley safe to classify this night as 'one of _those_ nights'. It was also pretty safe to say that he had a whole new respect for his female bartending co-workers.

Not that they'd have their ass pinched by a burly gay man, but still.

Suffice it to say, he was less than impressed when, shortly after nine the next morning, he was awoken abruptly by three sharp knocks on the front door. Like three quick shots to his head. He angrily pulled his pillow over his head and pressed it onto his ears, hoping to drown out the rest of the world. Unfortunately for him, his newest roommate had clearly been into the coffee again, and was speaking at an octive reserved for dog whistles and teen girls at a Justin Bieber concert.

He tore the sheets back with a growl and threw his legs over the edge of the bed, stomping across the room and ripping his bedroom door open. He marched down the hall in his boxer briefs, hollering out "Holy _shit_ Kitty! Stay away from the goddamn coffee and shut the f-"

He came to a stop at the end of the hall, and swallowed his words abruptly.

"Whatever, I totally didn't even have that much coffee this morning." Kitty rolled her eyes at her friend in the doorway, moving aside for her to step in with a box in her arms and motioning for her to put it on the kitchen island.

"You remember Rogue, I'm sure." Kitty said absently as she peered into the box curiously, "She just stopped by to bring me some more of my things."

Rogue raised an eyebrow as she eyed Remy, and he smugly leaned against the wall tossing her a little grin, "Like what you see?"

"I'm just wondering if you're aware that hunting season is over." She said with a tiny shrug.

Remy squinted at her, obviously not quite having 100% brain function after so little sleep and grunted, "Huh?"

Kitty looked up from the box with her favorite mint green shirt in hand and rolled her eyes, "Oh my gosh, camo is so 2006. Go put your pants on, Remy."

He looked down at his boxer briefs and frowned at the camo print fabric. "They were on sale."

"Sure." Rogue smiled with her eyes and turned to Kitty, "Either that or he's hiding from cougars."

Remy looked back up at her with an air of indignation, "They're not meant for _entertaining_."

"Oh well, they're pretty entertaining." Rogue countered.

Kitty laughed with an unattractive snort, turning back to her box of belongings, "Something about... hiding your morning wood? There has to be something there."

"Hmm," Rogue sat down on one of the stools and watched as Kitty scoured through the box, "You're supposed to use camo to hide** in** the woods, not hide your wood?"

Kitty pursed her lips and thought for a moment, "Not bad." She glanced back at Remy quickly, "We'll keep it down, Lieutenant Dan. You can go back to bed."

"Well, I'm awake _now_." Remy grumbled crossing the livingroom to the kitchen, "And I'm not Lieutenant Dan, this is clearly hunters camo, not army camo."

"Did you put a lot of research into the different types of camo before making such a purchase?" Kitty slipped a smile at Rogue before turning back to the box.

"I _told_ you, I just grabbed whatever was there." Remy frowned, watching as Rogue looked about the apartment, obviously distracted. It's been his experience that most women who bore witness to his finely toned abs were fairly impressed. However, instead of gawking at him, Rogue rested her elbows on the counter and pressed her lips into a thin line while Kitty pulled out some more of her belongings,

"There's a whole hell of a lot more room back at home, you know." She said eventually, "Along with most of the rest of your things..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Rogue." Kitty responded quickly, "This is my home now."

"With _Duck Dynasty_ over there?" Rogue arched her eyebrows skeptically at Remy as he subtly flexed his triceps while reaching for a coffee mug. "There had to be _someone_ else in the city of Glen Cove, looking for a roommate."

Kitty pulled a _Hello Kitty_ stuffed animal out of the box and knit her brow, "I told you, I don't want to talk about it."

"She said she feels_ safer with us_." Remy cut in, pouring his coffee at a visually apealing angle, trying his best to look like a Calvin Klein model for Rogue's benifit, "She's not exactly the smartest crayon in the box."

Rogue stared at Remy blankly for a moment, trying to determine whether or not his misuse of the idiom had been intentional as he took a gulp of coffee. When he lowered his cup, he gave her a shrug, "What? It's not like we're the most trust worthy group of guys around."

She turned back to Kitty and arched her eyebrows, "I mean, I understand wanting to get as far away from Lance as humanly possible," Rogue continued without missing a beat, "But here?"

"I don't want to get as far away from Lance as humanly possible. We're still dating." Kitty pulled out a pair of capris and squeltched an excited squeak.

"Does he know you're here?" Rogue asked skeptically, knowing full well what the answer to that particular question was. She tossed a hand towards Remy as he streched dramatically in a vain attempt to showcase his phisique, "With this?" She turned to him with her brow knit, "What in Sam Hill are you doing?"

Remy gave her a lazy half smile, "Just workin' out some kinks, chere."

Rogue's face twisted up as she watched him extend his arms over his head and arch his back with a happy groan, "You sleep weird or something? Maybe your mattress is too soft."

"I don't have a problem with things being too soft." He winked.

"Ugh." Kitty looked back at Rogue and gave her a simple shrug, "Lance knows I'm here, just not... _here_."

"And no one else can know either. Especially not Logan, because you know he'd flip his lid if he found out you were rooming with three men. No, I'm sorry," Rogue chuckled in an unamused fashion, "Three _Acolytes_."

"Stop making it out to be some act of rebellion Rogue, I'm too old for that." Kitty frowned.

"Whatever." She shrugged, sliding off the stool and looking at her watch, "I have to get back, New Recruits don't train themselves. Hopefully the Cajun stink will wear off by the time I get home."

"If I had a nickle for every time I heard that." Remy chuckled, which gained him some very confused looks from both girls. "It just... felt like a funny thing to say."

Rogue gave Kitty a pregnant look, "God help you."

Once she'd left, Kitty turned to Remy with a look of mild distaste. "What is _wrong_ with you? I thought you were supposed to be some wild and crazy ladies man. You make jokes like my dad."

"I do not." Remy spat. "I'm using my best material here!" He gestured to his nearly naked body, "_Both_ of you were acting like you're more into women. Which I wouldn't really have a problem with, now that I think about it..."

"We're used to seeing guys walk around in their underwear, Remy." Kitty rolled her eyes, muttering, "Bobby was the worst."

"Yeah, but this?" Remy smoothed a hand across his chest with a self satisfied grin, "Hmmm? Wait, which one is Bobby?"

"Drake. Bobby Drake." Kitty explained with a wave of her hand as if that should be explination enough. When Remy's face didn't register any recognition she continued, "Iceman? Blonde guy, thinks he's hilarious? Kinda short, I mean, not compaired to me, but-"

"_Iceboy_?" Remy's face twisted into dismay once he clued in, "You're lumping me into the same phisique category as Iceboy?"

Kitty shrugged, "I don't know, I guess. Also, I know I told you not to be deterred by my presence when it comes to walking around naked, but I'm seriously begging you to wear clothes in the kitchen. That's so unsanitary." She looked back into the box, pulling out a set of pink drapes, "And kind of dangerous too."

Remy scowled in the direction of the box, "What the hell is all that garbage?"

Kitty pulled the box protectively against herself and indignantly lifted her chin, "Some things I left in my room at the mansion. I want to... girly my room up a bit. Make it more like home."

"Frig." Remy grumbled, downing the rest of his coffee, "Just make sure that crap stays in your room. Understand? The girly boundary is your door. Nothing girly goes past your door into the manly area." He motioned towards the bland looking living room.

"What if I had pink camo, would that be okay?" She asked with a cheeky grin.

Remy did not appear to be amused.

With a roll of her eyes, she turned around and breezed across the livingroom, disappearing through her bedroom door. He huffed and marched back to his room, deciding to try and get some more sleep now that there weren't any hens clucking to keep him awake.

Remy managed to sleep for a few more hours, feeling far more refreshed when he finally did wake up for good, shortly after noon. He took his time going about his morning routine, before finally joining Piotr and Pyro in the livingroom.

He stopped at the end of the hallway, getting a quick grunt of acknowledgment from Pyro who was too busy playing his video game to do anything more substantial. Piotr, who was studying photographs for his work, looked up and instantly noticed the look of irritation on Remy's features,

"What is wrong?"

"What is that?" Remy pointed to the back of the couch that Pyro sat on.

"It's an Afganastan." Pyro informed him, keeping his eyes focused on the TV.

"Close," Piotr said drily, "It is an afgahn."

"You say tomato..." Pyro shrugged before shouting a slew of curse words at the TV.

Kitty came to a stop next to Remy with the usual perky little bounce in her step, clasping her hands behind her back, "What's up?"

"What is** this**?" Remy demanded, snatching the afghan off the back of the couch, "I told you, nothing girly!"

"Dude, it's a blanket." She arched an eyebrow.

"It's_ yellow_."

"It's_ golden_." She put a hand on her hip. "Huge difference."

He tossed it to her with a frown, "Keep the shit in your_ room_." He all but growled, when his eye caught another glimmer of colour. "And what the shit is this?" He snatched a blue pillow that had been hiding behind Pyro and held it up with outrage.

"Hey!" Pyro complained, "That was lumbar support, jerk. I was comfy."

"It's a pillow!" Kitty tossed her hands in the air, "Would you relax?"

"I don't want color! Nobody here wants color, Kitty. This is a man's house, don't go around spreading your estrogin on us."

She grimaced at the mental imagry he'd produced and snatched the pillow away, "Color is not estrogin, genius. And it's not like this is a man cave... it's just a blank..."

"Canvas." Piotr supplied.

"Yes. Canvas. And I'm just trying to brighten it up a little. With gender neutral colors, _hello_." She held the blue pillow up to emphasise her point. "I thought it would be nice for people to be oh, I don't know, comfortable?"

"Well, it's not nice." Remy spat.

"_You're_ not nice."

"Awww," Remy pouted, "That hurts, petite."

"Shut up." Kitty spat back, trying desperatly hard to hold onto her self control.

"If you can't handle living here-"

"I can handle it just fine, thank you very much." She snapped up the other throw pillow off the couch and frowned at him, "I'll just make my room visually appealing and comfortable. And then everyone will want to come and hang out in there. On my pillows and blankets."

Pyro's eyebrows perked up and he finally tore his eyes away from his game with piqued interest.

"Don't be gross." She frowned at him before spinning around and heading back to her room with her two blue pillows and golden throw.

She unnecessarily ripped the door open, just to have the added effect of slamming it shut behind her, plunging the livingroom into a tense silence.

"This was a bad idea." Remy ran a hand through his hair and shook his head with a scowl, "It's been two days and she's already PMSing."

"Or," Pete went back to studying the stack of photographs in his hand, "It has been two days and you have done nothing to make her feel more at home."

"That's not my job." Remy barked, suddenly feeling tired all over again, "This isn't_ The Brady Bunch_. Or goddamn_ Full House_, for chrissake."

"But if it were, I'd be Uncle Jesse." Pyro went back to playing his game with a happy little grin, "That bloke got some pretty sweet tail in his day..."

"What does it matter if she wants to have a blanket out here? It is not like it has rainbows and unicorns on it." Pete mumbled, trying to stay focused on his work at hand.

"Because this is where it starts. It's a gateway accessory. She starts with gender neutral blankets and pillows, and it escelates to flower arrangments and pet cats and friggin... matching jumpsuits or some shit." Remy said, throwing his hands in the air in outrage, "And what's the point in having a female roommate if her hot friends don't even acknowledge your exsistance? Seriously, I know she's not blind."

"Ah, the root of the issue." Pyro leaned to the side as he clicked away at his controller, sticking his tongue out as if that would have an affect on his gaming skills. "Sexual frustration."

"Shove it, Doctor Phil." Remy snapped.

"She is here now, you should make the best of the situation." Piotr said calmly, "Making enemies would not be wise."

"We**_ are_** enemies! Am I the only one who remembers this?" He let out an exsasperated breath and flopped down in the worn, taupe colored arm chair.

"I am sure you can find some good things about having her around, if you looked hard enough."

Remy set his jaw and sighed, "She does make alright pancakes." He rubbed a hand over his face, "I'm sure she's got more friends too. Hotter ones. Easier ones."

"That's the spirit." Pyro said with very little interest in the actual conversation.

"And it is not such a big deal if she adds a few of her own things to the livingroom, yes?" Piotr gave him a pointed look, daring him to disagree.

"No." Remy leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and jabbing a finger towards Piotr, "But if she so much as mentions bringing a goddamn potted plant in this place, you two are going to hear it. You get me?"

"Cripes," Pyro glanced over at Remy quickly, trying not to split his focus too much, "You're bloody tense. You need to get laid."

Remy grumbled something unintelligable as he pushed himself to his feet. He trudged back down the hall and stopped at Kitty's door with a frown. He banged on the door with the side of his fist and shouted, "You win! You can have your dumb pillows and fairy blanket!"

She poked her head out through the door and gave him a calculated stare, "And I want to keep my hair things in the bathroom."

"Oh come on-" He started, rubbing a hand over his face with a stifled sigh, "Fine. But your _face paint_ stays in your room."

She pursed her lips and considered his counter offer before giving him a terse nod, "Deal."

"Yeah, deal." He grumbled, turning back to the living room with a frown, "I'm going out for a drink." He announced as he trudged back into his room for his keys.

"It's like, one in the afternoon." Kitty informed him as he passed her by on his way out.

"Yeah. I know. Don't wait up." He snipped, quickly making his way out the front door.

"She's good." Pyro said, looking up from his game long enough to give Piotr a nod of approval. "Bring that pillow back, wouldja love?" He called out once his attention returned to his video game, "And while your up, could ya make me a sandwich?"

Kitty rolled her eyes and disappeared back into her room. Pyro knit his brow and looked back at Piotr,

"Is that a no?"


	4. The Carrots

The next few days went by with little incident. Remy was being fairly civil to Kitty, biting his tongue instead of flipping out at her for leaving her blow drier in the sink while still plugged in, not saying a word when she sprawled out on the couch and took control of the remote. And if he were to be completely honest with himself, he would have even admitted that having her around had its perks too. Kitty liked to keep the place nice and tidy, so she took it upon herself to clean up now and then, which is more than he could say about their other roommates. And, she had a wide variety of hair products, which she openly invited him to use whenever he'd like.

Not that he'd ever admit to using pomade, but you can't get that perfect 'I just rolled out of bed and this is how awesome I look' look by just rolling out of bed.

Things were beginning to become tolerable. And Kitty was doing her best to keep from stepping on Remy's toes while he was adjusting. So while he had taken over the kitchen for his 'Sunday night dinner time', Kitty quickly whisked Rogue away into her room, promptly shutting the door without a word.

"So, how are things?" Kitty flopped down on her blue comforter with an expectant smile.

"Fine, I guess. To be honest, kind of boring." Rogue's mouth quirked up slightly, "I kind of miss you. Sort of. Not all the time."

"I kind of miss you too." Kitty crossed her legs on the bed, making room for Rogue to sit down next to her, "Living with all guys is totally different. I mean, I expected it to be a little different, but it's_ totally_ different."

Rogue sat down, leaning back to prop herself up on her elbows, "Is it different from Lance?"

Kitty thought for a moment before nodding, "Yeah, but a good kind of different. I mean, I love Lance and everything but I felt so..."

"Trapped?"

"Smothered." Kitty sighed. "But here, I get to do what I want, when I want. Without people's permission or checking with people's plans. I feel free."

"You know Kit, I'm not exactly a relationship expert or anything, but that doesn't sound very good."

"No, you're not." Kitty said tersly, "There's nothing_ wrong_ with my realtionship. I just needed a change of scenery."

"So you changed your scenery to three single men." Rogue smirked.

"You don't know that they're single." Kitty snipped defensively, "And that's not what I meant, anyways."

"I _do_ know they're single, because there's no way in hell you'd be living here if any one of them had a girlfriend."

Kitty frowned, conceding to Rogue's valid argument.

"I just wonder if you're_ really sure_ about this." Rogue continued "You're not exactly a master of making good decisions, you had one year left in college and dropped out to move in with your dipshit boyfriend."

Kitty opened her mouth to say something when Rogue cut in, "I know, I know... change of scenery. I get it. But just think of where you _could_ be right now if you'd just stuck with it."

"I didn't _want_ to stick with it." Kitty snapped, "I got tired of everyone telling me what to do, so I took control_ for once!_"

Rogue pressed her lips together and gave her a silent nod, sensing that she'd pushed the issue too far. After a few moments of tense silence, Rogue pushed herself to her feet and jerked her head towards the door, "I'm gunna go get a drink, okay?"

Kitty blinked at Rogue, not exactly wanting to admit to her friend that techncially, she wasn't allowed in the kitchen right now, having just flipped out about finally having a little bit of control. Eventually she reluctantly nodded, figuring she'd let Remy deal with the problem. And if he came to her, bitching about it later, she'd just cry.

Crying gets you everywhere in life.

Rogue slipped out into the hallway, giving the two in the livingroom a curt nod of acknowldegment before scrunching up her nose, "Do I smell fish?"

"Smells like shit." Pyro grumbled, "The whole house smells like shit."

Piotr cracked a grin, watching Rogue as she approached the kitchen, coming to a stop with a hand on her hip, inspecting the ingredients on the counter, "You're making salmon and frickin' steamed vegtables?"

Remy looked up from steaming his asparagus, not having noticed her approach and worked the muscles in his jaw. She was in his work space. This wasn't acceptable.

"Organically farmed salmon." He said finally, "It's healthy."

"It's a disgrace is what it is. This is something_ Jean_ would eat." She plucked a baby carrot out of the bag and slipped it past her lips as she leaned against the counter, "I expected more from you."

He forced himself to give her a charm oozing smile, trying to focus on the way she sucked the baby carrot into her mouth and not on the fact that she was eating his $10 bag of baby carrots. "You can't look this good fillin' up on deep fried crawfish and jambalaya, chere."

"Aw, save your healthy eating spiel," She tossed a hand in the air and stepped into the kitchen, which instantly grabbed the attention of Pyro who was now watching just as intently as Piotr from the livingroom. "Plenty of people get along doing just fine, surviving off of much worse." She said as she opened the refridgerator and hung off the door while she browsed.

He whacked a lemon in half with excessive force before letting out a soothing breath, gently setting the butchers knife down, and squeezing the lemon over his cooking salmon, "I don't want to be_ just fine_."

"Well that's your problem then." She muttered, leaning down for a better look inside the fridge. Remy's eyes were instinctively drawn to her posterior, which served to ease his frayed nerves only slightly. "Dieting is over rated. If it was so damn good for you, they'd call it alive-ing or something far less forboding at least." She prattled as she sifted through the contents of the fridge "I just don't think there's anything wrong with indulging yourself once in a while. Forbidden fruit just tastes that much sweeter. If it feels good, do it, and all that shit, you know what I mean?"

She stood upright with a bottle of water in hand and twisted the cap off, looking between three sets of slightly glazed over, unresponsive eyes.

Finally Remy blinked and grunted, "Huh?" Having just realized Rogue had finished speaking, and that she'd ended with a question likely directed at him.

Rogue rolled her eyes, "You've got the attention span of a tick." She griped, closing the fridge door and taking a sip of her newly acclimated water. She crossed the kitchen, with Remy's eyes following her, sneaking another carrot out of the bag as she passed by. "These carrots aren't bad."

Remy's eye twitched. He was being torn between two loves; his food, and women talking about sex.

Not that Rogue exactly realized she'd been talking about sex, but to the ears of any yonung man within ear shot, she had been. And to the ears of Remy, it had been an open invitation. A challenge if you will. He also loved a good challenge.

"Hey." Kitty said carefully from the edge of the room, "Everything alright?"

Rogue shrugged and plucked another carrot out of the bag, "Your Acolyte pals are acting weird."

Remy snapped back to his senses and his eyes bore into Kitty from across the room, "It's Sunday." He said evenly.

"I'm aware." She lifted her chin keeping her eyes defiantly fixed on his. "My friend wanted a drink. Relax."

"She's eating my _carrots_." Remy pointed at Rogue, still keeping his frown directed at Kitty, "You know the kitchen rules Kitty."

"Kitchen rules?" Rogue snorted, looking back at Kitty with a wry smirk, "I thought there were no rules here."

"There's not." Kitty gave her head a quick shake, "Except for... Remy's stupid kitchen thing."

"And the bathroom thing." Pyro added.

"Yeah... that."

"Also, his aversion to color in the livingroom." Piotr piped in.

"_Yes_. Thank you!" She snipped irritably, "I'm sure you can spare a few stupid carrots, Remy."

"Want 'em back?" Rogue asked with a smartass grin on her face.

"Just..." Remy scrubbed a hand over his face, "Get out of my kitchen!"

"What a Diva." Rogue quirked an eyebrow, "I don't recall you being so uptight last time I absorbed you. Thank the good lord for small favours."

"You should see him on Star Wars night." Pyro chuckled, "We're over here eating chicken wings and nachos, and he's got a bowl of those mini carrots with his beer. Like a friggin' Nancy."

"Star Wars night? What is Star Wars night?" Kitty cut in quickly, turning her attention to Remy, who had gone back tending to his salmon.

"It's Star Wars night." Pyro shrugged by means of explanation "_Stat Wars night_."

"One night a month the three of us watch one of the Star Wars movies-" Piotr began elaborating when Pyro cut him off,

"And play drinking games! Star Wars and drinking games! We watch the movies in chronological order though, obviously." Pyro rolled his eyes.

"When is Star Wars night? I like Star Wars night!" Kitty asked excitedly.

"You like Star Wars?" Pyro gaped.

"Of course. Who doesn't?" Rogue silently raised her hand and Kitty waved her off, "Who in their _right mind_ doesn't?"

"See, here's the thing." Remy said, pulling his steamed asparagus out of the pot and arranging it carefully onto a clean plate. "This is kind of... A tradition. A guys thing."

"Well... Couldn't it just be like, a roommate thing?" she smiled, "I'm sure there's enough room in the Millenium Falcon for one more person, Han."

"She's barely even a person." Rogue pointed out, "She's more like an Ewok. And I only know that because she's made me watch the dumb thing before."

Remy gave Kitty a flat smile, "Sorry petite. Guys night. No chicks."

"Oh," Kitty nodded with a forced grin, "I understand."

Piotr knit his brow, "I am sure we can-"

"No no..." Kitty held up a hand, "It's okay. No estrogen allowed, I get it. I'll just, find something better to do during your Star Wars nights."

"_Anything_ would be better." Rogue mumbled under her breath.

"Maybe like, Rogue and I could have a chick night. That would be fun right? We could like, watch a bunch of sappy chick flicks in our pajamas... That would be fun!"

"That would_ not_ be fun." Rogue said flatly.

"Sounds like fun to me..." Pyro gave her a toothy grin, gaining him a sneer from Rogue. "You could invite the ginger chick over too, _Jean_? Maybe a couple of blondes... I bet it would get really warm in that room. I bet you'd have to take off a few layers." He turned to Piotr and wagged his eyebrows, "And then they'd have to come to the kitchen for refreshments..."

Piotr shook his head, "You need to get out more."

"And probably cancel your subscription to the Playboy Channel." Kitty added.

"Well, I don't care what you do," Remy announced with his hands on the counter on either side of his plate, "Just keep your hormones away from our Star Wars night."

"Wow, mister friendly over here." Rogue scowled in his direction, "You have a serious aversion to female hormones. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were overcompensating for something."

Pyro snorted, "She's calling you gay."

"Yeah, I got that." Remy worked the muscles in his jaw, turning his attention to Rogue with an even stare, "I don't have an aversion to female hormones, I just think they have their _place_."

"In his bed, holla!" Pyro raised a hand for Piotr to hi-five, but instead, Kitty smacked his hand down.

Rogue crossed her arms with an unamused chuckle, "Classic over compensation."

"I'm not gay." Remy narrowed his eyes, "Give me five minutes and I'll prove it to you."

"Just five, quick draw?" Kitty laughed at her own joke inspite of the dangerous glare it recieved her.

"I could do it in two, but I'm a giver." Remy smiled tersley.

"Yeah well, the only thing you're giving me is a headache." Rogue clipped, stomping back towards the hallway with Kitty on her heel, "By the way,_ quick draw_, your salmon is burning."

Remy cussed loudly, realizing that he'd all but forgot about his main dish sitting on the stove top. "Damnit! This is why I have kitchen rules! Stop distracting me!"

"And your carrots weren't even that good!" Rogue called out as Kitty desperately shoved her through the doorway before they could witness Remy's reaction.

"He's super sensative about his carrots." Kitty explained in response to Rogues nasty glare.

If there's anything Kitty knows, it's not to insult a man's carrot.


	5. The Ketchup

It was a rainy Monday afternoon, and Piotr was taking advantage of having the place to himself, setting up a stool and an easel on a drop cloth in the natural lighting through the patio window. He was lost, deep in the artistic process, mixing colors, layering colors, framing the subject on the canvas to perfectly match the vision of his painting he had in his head. He was focusing on laying the background coloring down when he suddenly heard an unattractive, frustrated grunt from the small apartment foyer. His eyes darted up from the painting to see Kitty struggling with her damp raincoat, before finally phasing it off and throwing it into the closet.

Which is when she finally noticed that she wasn't alone. She shoved her soggy hair out of her eyes and blinked at him, "Sorry. I didn't think anyone would be home."

Piotr blinked at her, his eyes drawn to the large red stain on her stark white uniform t-shirt. "Is that..."

"Ketchup. I don't want to talk about it." Kitty frowned, shucking her wet shoes. "I thought you'd be at work?"

"I am." He inclined his head slightly to the easel and Kitty crossed the living room to plunk herself down on the gray sofa behind Piotr's workspace as she unclipped the name tag from the unstained side of her shirt.

"No, like **at** work. Aren't you supposed to be painting models or something?" She asked with a tired smirk.

"No." Piotr turned back to his painting, dipping the brush into a deep brown color he'd previously mixed as he spoke, "They are dancers. And the director asked me to leave."

"Why?" Kitty knit her brow, tugging the hair tie out of her wet locks.

He sighed trying to keep an adequate amount of focus on his painting, "He said I was too distracting."

Kitty's eyebrows perked up and she grinned like the Cheshire cat, "Distracting?"

He glanced back at her from over his shoulder and instantly recognized the mischievous look on her face, "It is not-"

"Oh, I'm too distracted by the sexy Russian painter to pirouette!" She lilted dramatically with the back of her hand resting on her forehead, "He is so strong and masculine, and I am but a tiny little dancer!"

"It was not like that." He knit his brow, keeping his back turned to her and his eyes glued to the painting as he worked on highlighting the stage.

"Please tell me you at least took advantage of the situation and asked one of these tiny dancers out." She tucked her legs up underneath her on the couch and propped her elbow up on the arm rest. "They were probably tripping over themselves to get at you."

Piotr pressed his lips into a thin line and released a deep sigh. His focus was lost, the mood had passed. He looked at her through the corner of his eye and gave in to his newest roommate, concluding that this was a good time to take a break, "I might have."

"Pete! You dog!" She chucked him on the shoulder playfully, "Tell me about her! Is she a ten?"

"A... ten?" He raised an eyebrow, setting his paintbrush down to wipe his hands off on a rag, "I do not follow..."

"You know, like, on a scale from one to ten. Where would she rate?"

Piotr shrugged, "An eight?"

"A solid eight, not bad." Kitty nodded thoughtfully, "I bet she really fills out a tutu, hmm?" She wagged her eyebrows suggestively and Piotr chuckled with the shake of his head,

"John has been a bad influence on you."

"Oh please," She tossed a hand in the air and rolled her eyes, "I've been living with hormonal guys since I was fifteen."

"She is attractive." Piotr conceded, "Her name is Anya. She is Russian."

"Of_ course_, a Russian ballerina." Kitty thunked her forehead with the heel of her hand, "I'm sure she's not the only one in the company."

"No, she is not."

"So what made her stand out?" Kitty rested her chin on her fist, smiling at Piotr expectantly.

"She is very outgoing." He explained blandly, "She made me feel comfortable. I was reminded of home."

"That's so sweet!" Kitty sighed with a starry, far off look.

"I asked her out for dinner next Wednesday." Piotr continued, "It is her night off."

"Where are you taking her?"

"I do not know yet. I am sure Remy will know a nice place we can go."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Kitty grumbled, "He's probably like, a master at the first date. I bet he's got a list of rules for a first date too, freak."

"He is not so bad, Katya." Piotr said as he stood up, gathering his painting supplies in the process, "He is just slow to adapt to change. That is all."

"And you're not?"

"No. I have learned to... what is the term... roll with the punching."

Kitty swallowed a giggle and shook her head, "Roll with the punches."

"Yes! That is it." He folded up his easel and tucked it under one arm, lifting the work in progress up with his free hand. "I am no stranger to change."

"I guess moving halfway across the world does that to a guy, hmm?" Kitty said, following him to his room, the farthest down the hall, right next to Pyro's and across from the bathroom. She opened the door for him and he set his painting on a new easel, putting his other one away in the closet. Kitty's eyes scanned the room in silent awe,

"You've done all these?" She asked, looking at what appeared to be hundreds of paintings, hanging on all four walls of his room, standing stacked against the dresser the way one would store CD cases or books, rolled up canvases inside the closet piled one on top of another. "_All_ of these?"

"These are ones I have not sold." He said simply, "Sometimes I get attached."

"Wow." Kitty breathed, stepping into the room, mesmerized by all his work. "Do you just paint?"

"No, but painting is my preferred medium." He replied as he continued tidying "It is more enjoyable for me."

"You're so _good_." Kitty said in awe, "I had no idea you were so good."

Piotr shrugged sheepishly, "I still have very much to learn."

"Yeah, but it's not like you're a novice here or anything. You're like, an actual professional."

"The dancers paintings will be on display for the opening night of the show. It is not exactly an art gallery, but it is a start." Piotr explained from the bathroom where he diligently cleaned off all of his painting tools.

"You get _paid_ to do this. You get paid to do something you love." Kitty frowned, "It's impressive."

When Piotr returned with his clean brushes in hand, he knit his brow at the expression on her face and began packing his supplies away, "Are you alright?"

Kitty nodded in spite of her frown and sat down hard on the edge of his bed, "I just feel like I'm stuck. I mean, I made all these changes thinking that it would be better in the long run and look at me." She threw her hand towards herself with an unamused laugh, "I'm covered in _ketchup_."

Piotr nodded in silent understanding.

"I don't just want to be _good_ at something, and settle with that." She turned her attention back to the paintings on his wall and shook her head, "I want to be really passionate about something. Why can't I be passionate about something?"

"You are not passionate about hamburgers?" He asked with a grin.

She looked back at him and pressed her lips into a thin smile, "You're joking. That's fun. Kick a girl while she's down, why don't you?"

Piotr dried his hands on his jeans and shook his head, "There is nothing wrong with earning an honest paycheck."

"I don't even have _that_ anymore." She chewed the inside of her cheek and knit her brow, "I got fired. I got fired from an easy ass job. I wasn't even good at _that_."

He crossed the room and sat down next to her on the edge of the bed, "What happened?"

"There was this teenager showing off for his friends," She began, tangling a hand in her matted, wet hair, "He was throwing the ketchup bottles up in the air and trying to juggle with them... long story short, I was too slow."

Piotr knit his eyebrows and blinked at her, "You got fired for that?"

"My former manager is really big into the whole 'the customer is always right' thing." She winced as she tugged her fingers through the knots in her hair, "Realistically he was just looking for any excuse he could find to fire me."

Piotr let out a resigned breath and shook his head, "I am sorry."

Kitty shrugged with a forced half smile, "Yeah, me too."

"You are better off. You do not need to work for someone who does not treat you properly."

She let out a laugh and shook her head, "That's the thing, big guy. I kind of do. I have to take any job I can get at this point. Otherwise I'm..." She trailed off, turning her attention to her soggy socks. "Just a failure."

They were silent for a few minutes while Kitty stared at her feet, idly brushing her wet hair with her fingers before Piotr finally said, "I do not know what to tell you." She looked up at him and he frowned, "I am not very good with... words."

"You don't need to tell me anything." She piled her hair over one shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile, "It's just nice to talk to someone who isn't going to say 'I told you so Kitty!', which is exactly what I'm sure Rogue will do in a non direct way."

"You do not need to worry about money." He offered, "Remy is all talk. He would not kick you out."

Kitty scoffed, "We'll see about that." She smiled, dropping her gaze to the name tag in her hand. "I should go change out of my uniform, I'm making your room smell like ketchup and grease."

He gave her a mute nod, watching as she stood, fidgeting with the name tag until she disappeared into the hallway.

There really is nothing quite like a warm shower on a dreary rainy day. Especially if you're having a crumby day to begin with. So Kitty figured a nice, long, steamy shower would be a good way to clear her mind. She took her time soaping up and rinsing off, standing under the stream of hot water with nothing in particular on her mind until her skin was pruny and red. When she was finally finished, she threw on her fuzzy green, terry cloth robe and gathered her dirty clothes off the floor without taking a second look at them, folding them up quickly and draping them over her arm. She stepped out into the hall and padded down towards her door when she heard,

"You leave any hot water for the rest of the building?"

She peeked around the corner into the living room and frowned at Remy, who was perched on a stool in the island as he idly sifted through a stack of mail. She glanced at Pyro behind Remy in the kitchen, furiously cleaning something in the sink, before turning her attention back to Remy.

"Puh-lease, you take _way_ longer in the shower than that. Probably in there manscaping."

"I really like your razor by the way." He looked up from the mail with a smile, "It really gets in there-"

"**Ew!**" Kitty shrieked, "That's totally not funny!"

"What?" Remy shrugged with a smirk and tossed one of the envelopes back onto the counter, "I make sure I clean it out when I'm done with it."

Kitty put her head into her free hand, clutching her clothes tighter to her chest with a groan, "That is _so_ wrong."

"There!" Pyro exclaimed triumphantly, holding a wet, white t-shirt up to his face for closer inspection, "I think I finally got it all out. The key is to blot the stain out, y'know?"

"He reads a lot of Martha Stewart." Remy informed her, tossing another envelope onto the counter.

Kitty cocked her head as she looked at the white t-shirt, which appeared to be a women's shirt, before dropping her eyes to the pile of clothes hanging over her arm. "That's my shirt."

"Yeah. And now it's clean." Pyro grinned. "See?"

Kitty looked back up at Pyro with wide eyes, "_Why_ are you cleaning my shirt?"

"Petey told us you came home with ketchup all over you, and trust me love, I know how much of a bitch ketchup is to get out once it's set-"

"That shirt was in the bathroom with me, Pyro." Kitty stated, "You can't go in the bathroom when I am in the shower!"

"It's not like I peeked or anything." Pyro shrugged. "I just thought you'd need your uniform clean for work tomorrow. Nobody wants a waitress with bloody ketchup stains." He scrunched up his nose and frowned, "That's unprofessional."

"Yeah well," She stomped over to the kitchen in her damp, bare feet and snatched the shirt out of Pyro's hand. "I'm not _going_ to work tomorrow. I got fired."

Pyro blinked at her for a moment before finally saying, "Well, probably because of your temper."

"Or because you're wasteful with ketchup." Remy added with a grin, "Wet t-shirt contest; you're doing it wrong."

"With ketchup!" Pyro laughed with an abrupt snort, "That's funny!"

Kitty whipped around to eye Remy, "That's it? No comments on how inconvenient this is_ for you_?"

Remy looked up at her and shrugged, "I don't care how you get money, just as long as you have it in time for rent." He looked back at his stack of mail, "Besides, I'm sure you'll find another job. Walmart's always hiring."

"Boo." Kitty stuck her tongue out, "The florescent lights are way too harsh, and that blue smock does nothing for my skin tone."

"Yeah, that's a great way to job select." He muttered sarcastically under his breath. "You could put that on your resume."

"_Or,_" Kitty began sweetly, "I could give _you_ my resume to take into Chili's..."

Remy scoffed with a chuckle, "That's not gunna happen." He leveled his eerie gaze at Kitty and knit his brow, "You're a horrible waitress."

Her shoulders slumped and she nodded, "Yeah, I am."

"Why don't you ask Pyro to take a resume into work for you?" Remy suggested, tapping the stack of envelopes in his hand on the counter with a grin.

"Yeah you know," Kitty turned to Pyro with a scrutinizing eye, "I've always wanted to be a... telemarketer?"

"Knock it off." Pyro pouted.

"Private investigator." Kitty continued guessing at Pyro's mystery profession, "Space cowboy!"

He grunted from the back of his throat and scowled at the two grinning back at him, "That's not even a thing."

Kitty nodded knowingly at Remy, "_Secret_ space cowboy."

"Or, maybe I'm a pimp. Then I could hire you myself, hmm?" Pyro offered a smart ass grin as he rolled his sleeves back down.

"Yeah yeah, point taken." Kitty grumbled, being reminded of the grim reality of her situation as she trudged back to her room.

Pyro rolled his other sleeve down before taking a glance at the envelopes on the counter, and after a few moments of comfortable silence, Remy looked up at Pyro and gave him a single nod,

"You took her underwear too, didn't you."

He shrugged in return, "They were just sittin' there."


	6. The Resume

The first thing that Remy noticed when he opened the front door, were the four empty bags of chips littering the ground around the couch. The second thing he noticed, was the two empty one liter soda bottles on the coffee table next to the half eaten bag of_ Cheetos_.

"Hey." Pyro greeted robotically with his eyes glued to the TV screen and his Xbox controller glued to his hands.

"Sup." Kitty droned, mirroring Pyro in a very disturbing way.

"Oh God, there's two of them." Remy grumbled as he shut the door behind him, "At least I don't have to worry about you two touching my food, hmm?"

"Aww dammit!" Pyro threw his controller on the floor and raked a hand through his unkempt red hair, "That's not fair." He whined as Kitty victoriously punched the air, "Blabber mouth over here was distracting me! I'm no good at racing games... it wasn't a fair fight!"

"That's the name of the game, _loser_." Kitty kicked her socked feet up on the coffee table and pulled the bag of _Cheetos_ onto her lap, "I told you I was good. You chose not to believe me."

"You look like you've had a productive day..." Remy said sarcastically, slowly taking in the sight of Kitty wearing her flannel pajamas with little sheep all over them.

"Hey, I haven't worn my pajamas all day since I was twelve. And in my defense, I showered. I just put my jammies back on when I was done." She shrugged, stuffing a _Cheeto_ in her mouth.

"I thought you were going to work on your resume today." Remy grimaced at the Twinkies wrappers on the arm chair before wiping them onto the floor and sitting down.

"Oh! I totally did!" She beamed at him, licking the _Cheeto_ dust off her fingers. She picked up a yellow legal pad off the floor and handed it over to Remy, "See? Done."

Remy blinked at the paper, looking back up at Kitty with disbelief, before dropping his eyes back to the paper, "It's hand written..."

"Well duh. I don't have a computer, now do I?" Kitty shrugged, "It's a rough draft. I texted it to Rogue, she'll type it up for me and print off a couple dozen copies."

Remy inspected Kitty's rather unimpressive looking resume, noticing that she'd neatly printed out what type of font she wanted it to be in, the size the font should be for each section, how many spaces should be between each bullet point, all in brackets in the top right corner of the page.

She'd obviously put far more effort into her resume than appearance would dictate.

"_You_ were valedictorian?" He looked up at her skeptically, "I know it's easy to lie on a resume, but you have to make it believable."

Kitty rolled her eyes, "Yeah well, when you go to a school of morons, it's not hard to be the top moron."

"You don't have much experience." Remy said as his eyes scanned the rest of her resume.

"I don't exactly think putting _Mutant Vigilante_ down would be a great idea, and that pretty much ate up five years of my working life." She tossed the bag of _Cheetos_ back onto the coffee table and stood up, wiping any residual orange dust from her hands onto her pajama bottoms.

"So, according to this, you finished high school four years ago, and you've been doing nothing since then." Remy raised an eyebrow, "The odds aren't exactly in your favor here, petite-"

She snatched the legal pad away from him and narrowed her eyes, "I'm an effing people person."

Pyro snorted and Kitty turned her evil glare towards him. "And I'm a fast learner. I don't care what my resume says, if I can just get _one_ interview, I _will_ get a job."

The three staccato knocks on the door interrupted Remy before he could make any other snide comments about her lack of experience. Kitty hurried over and pulled the door open with a happy grin, "Yay!"

"You owe me big time." Rogue frowned, handing over a stack of resumes as she stepped into the apartment.

"Yay!" Kitty repeated, closing the door behind Rogue and looking over the document in her hand. The smile dropped off her face. "This isn't the font I told you to use, Rogue. I specifically said to use a serif font."

Rogue squinted at Kitty and shook her head, "Nobody understands what that means, Kitty."

"Then _Google_ it! You wrote my resume in _Comic sans_!" She winced as she said the words as if they caused her physical pain. "Everyone will think I'm a total joke! This is completely unprofessional!"

Rogue rolled her eyes, "Chill the hell out, nobody will even notice."

Remy peeked at the resume over Kitty's shoulder and hummed, "I bet they'd notice you spelled computer with an _f _though."

"Compufer? I have great _compufer skills_?" Kitty whimpered and sank down onto the bar stool with a pout, "This is horrible."

"Well, you know what they say about wanting things done right." Rogue raised an eyebrow, "Do them your goddamn self."

"Maybe I would have if I owned a _compufer_!"

Kitty smacked her head on the island a few times and Rogue slipped a resume off the top of the stack to inspect it herself, "You're being over dramatic, Kit."

"**Am I**?"

"No, these are pretty bad." Remy nodded as he continued to inspect the resume in Rogue's hand, "I think she's being the right amount of dramatic."

Rogue scowled at him and turned her attention back to Kitty with a frown, "You know, you don't technically need to work. You have money in-"

"You have money?" Pyro's interest in the topic at hand piqued and his eyebrows perked up. If he had a tail, it would have been wagging.

"No I don't." Kitty snapped, turning back to Rogue, "Shut up."

Rogue shook her head, "Kitty-"

"Fine. I'll do it myself. Okay? Is that what you wanted? I'll go to the stupid public library and type up my own resume like a schmuck."

Rogue sat down in the stool next to Kitty and gingerly took the pile of bad resume's out of her hand, "I happen to know for a fact that you own a computer."

"It's broken." Kitty answered quickly. "It's still at Lance's house. And I don't have a printer."

"Kitty," Rogue's shoulders slumped and she let out a defeated sigh, "I don't know what to do here-"

"You said you were going to be supportive." Kitty pointed an accusing finger at Rogue and narrowed her eyes, "I'm working things out. Leave me be."

Rogue nodded silently as Kitty pushed herself off the stool, "Okay. So, I guess I have to go get dressed and find out when the library closes." She announced with a sudden smile, "Who knows, maybe they're hiring."

When she disappeared into her room, Rogue shot out a breath and rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers, "This supportive crap is over rated."

Remy rested an elbow on the island next to her and casually leaned his weight against it with a well practiced half grin, "You look stressed, chere."

"Wow, you're a natural Sherlock Holmes." Rogue snorted, "What was your first clue?"

"Need a massage?" He winked.

Rogue's face twisted up, "No._ God_ you're weird..."

His well practiced half grin grew strained and he blinked a few times under her stare before eventually opting to change the subject, "So, what were you saying about Kitty having money?"

"It's complicated," Rogue mumbled with a shake of her head, "And since I'm 'being supportive'," She said with air quotes, "It's nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing." Remy knit his brow skeptically.

"Look, it's her business. You want to know, you talk to her." Rogue said pointedly, "Actually, a better idea would be to just let it drop. Nothing good comes out of badgering that girl, believe me."

"I'm pretty good at getting women to talk." Remy's smirk came back in full force and he wagged his eyebrows, "And moan."

Rogue turned to face Remy with a furrow on her brow, "Listen,"

"Oui?" He crooned with a toothy grin.

"I need you."

"That's right you do." Remy purred with lidded eyes.

"I need you to look after her. You know, take care of her and crap. I can't be here all the time, and I don't like the thought of her being all alone."

Remy's perfectly formulated sexy look quickly morphed into a frown, "What?"

"You _owe_ me, Gambit." Rogue said with a pointed look, "I helped you with your family."

Remy squirmed uncomfortably at the mention of this particular event, not exactly in love with the idea that he wasn't a complete mystery to the woman sitting in front of him. "That was different."

"You're right. It was different." Rogue arched a brow impatiently, "You kidnapped me and forced me into feeling pity for your situation in order to make me help. Do _I_ need to kidnap you?"

Remy smirked, "That would make it more fun-"

"Kitty is _my_ family." Rogue continued with a determined frown, "I need you to promise me you'll watch her for me. "

"So, you want me to babysit your fully grown friend." He stood upright and crossed his arms.

"No, I want you make sure she's okay. And make sure she stays that way." Rogue turned her eyes towards the slothenly Pyro as he clicked away on his Xbox controller and grumbled, "I guess she wasn't completely stupid in her idea to move in with you morons after all."

Remy rolled his eyes and held up his hands, poised to shoot down her unreasonable request, when the corner of her mouth quirked up she looked up with her big, kohl lined eyes and said, "I wouldn't trust just anybody."

"Oh_ hell_." He grumbled, pressing his thumb and forefinger against his eyes, "Fine. Whatever."

Rogue broke out into a grin, "Thanks." She gave Remy a punch to the shoulder and stood up when Kitty emerged from her bedroom fully dressed and ready to go.

"Alright, let's get this over with." She mumbled, grabbing her keys and jacket before heading out the door with Rogue close behind, leaving Remy to wonder how exactly he'd been roped into doing someone a _favour_.

Owed or not.

Pyro snorted, dividing his attention between the TV and Remy, "You're whipped, mate."

Remy rolled his eyes skyward and shook his head, "I'm not whipped."

"That little Sheila's got you wrapped around her little finger," Pyro grinned at the TV, "That my friend, is whipped."

"There's something _wrong_ with her." Remy concluded with a scowl, "It's like she barely even notices I'm around. Maybe she's gay."

"Oh yeah sure," Pyro scoffed sarcastically, "Because no straight woman could ever resist the Don Juan Lebeau."

"Exactly." Remy said matter-of-factly, "And it does explain why she has such an invested interest in the little... _Minette_."

"Ah well," Pyro shrugged, his thumbs tapping frantically on the controller buttons, "Can't win 'em all, eh mate? What's it feel like to be manipulated by a scissor sister?"

Remy scowled and chucked a Twinky at Pyro's head.


	7. The Idea

_A/N- thank you all for your wonderful reviews! Please keep them coming, I really enjoy reading my praises :) That is all. _

* * *

"Well," Kitty announced to the room after opening the door with extra flourish and a wide grin, "You'll be happy to know that I've got three quarters of my rent money together."

Pyro grunted in vague acknowledgement from his apparent permanent spot on the couch with the Xbox controller glued to his hand.

She closed the door behind her as Remy glanced up quickly from cleaning up his lunch in the kitchen, "Just three quarters?"

"Yeah," She shrugged out of her rain coat and hung it in the hall closet, "The blood bank only lets you donate so much blood a month... legal reasons or something. I don't know, it's dumb if you ask me. And I don't have any other bodily fluids to donate. You guys are so lucky..."

Piotr looked up from his spot on the arm chair in front of the balcony window, letting his sketch book drop to his lap with a frown, "I thought you were going to pick up your last pay check. It was not enough?"

She let out a sigh and leaned against the chair across from Piotr, "That didn't go exactly as planned, so I kind of had to improvise."

"What do you mean it 'didn't go as planned'?" Remy stopped drying the sink and eyed her.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged, "Well I_ went_. But he informed me that he was charging me for the broken ketchup bottle and the customers bill and that I didn't have any money left over. Apparently the little prick who got me fired, jacked up his bill, and technically I now _owe_ the diner money. Anyways, he said if I didn't leave right away, he'd call the cops because I was trespassing. And since I don't exactly have any money for _bail, _I didn't really want to pull at that thread."

Pyro looked up from the TV at Kitty with wide eyes, "Are you kidding me? You're a bloody doormat, Sheila!"

"What was I gunna do? He was going to call the cops!"

"On what grounds?" Remy rolled his eyes, "You were there asking for your pay check, you wouldn't have been arrested for that."

"Well..." Kitty tipped her nose up, "I didn't know that..."

"You want me to go back for ya?" Pyro's eyes glimmered with the prospect of inflicting property damage, "I can burn that diner down to a pile of ashes in a matter of minutes."

"No." Remy said firmly, and Pyro's excitement wilted a little. Remy looked back to Kitty and set his jaw, "You have to go back and get your money."

"Don't worry about it, I'll get my rent money-"

"This isn't about your rent money. This is about your damn back bone, petite. You don't stand up for yourself once in a while, people are just gunna walk all over you."

Kitty put a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes, "I have a back bone. I talked my way into moving in here, didn't I?"

"That's true..." Remy said, staring at the ground between them as he stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"I just didn't want to start a ruckus, you know? It's only half a paycheck anyways." Kitty shrugged, walking around the chair to flop down on it with her legs hanging over the arm.

"I am going to have to agree with Remy, Katya." Piotr closed his sketch book and knit his brow, "You should not let him treat you this way."

"Well, what am I gunna do?"

"You could burn the place down." Pyro grinned with that same maniacal twinkle. "_I_ could burn the place down..."

"I have an idea." Remy hung the dish rag back on it's hook and made his way into the living room, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Kitty, who was eying him warily, "Do you trust me?"

She snorted by means of response and he smirked.

"I'll need everyone's help."

"I'm in." Pyro grinned with anticipation, "What's your plan, Danny Ocean?"

Remy looked back over his shoulder at Pete who was adamantly shaking his head.

"I do not want a part of this."

"Come on..." Remy knit his brow at Pete and he threw a hand towards Kitty, "She needs us."

Kitty's lower lip stuck out in a pathetic pout, and Piotr continued to shake his head, "Your ideas are _always_ illegal. I do not want to put my career on the line, criminal records are frowned upon."

"You're so pessimistic." Remy scoffed, "We never get _caught_."

"Never?" Piotr set his mouth in a thin line and Remy shrugged,

"Almost never. But this time it's for a good cause." He reached out and squeezed Kitty's cheeks in his hand and grinned at Piotr to make his point. "Look at this face. How can you resist this face?"

"I will go talk to your boss, if you'd like." Piotr fixed his eyes on Kitty's once Remy had released her face from his hold, "I am sure I could reason with him..."

Remy scowled and waved Piotr's pathetic offer to help off, but Kitty held up her hand, "Hang on, he might be onto something." She said, swinging her legs around so she was sitting upright in the arm chair, "My former employer happens to be incredibly gay."

"We could use that..." Remy squinted at Piotr and scratched the scruff on his chin as he processed this new information.

"He'd be the distraction..." Pyro stroked his chin, "I like that."

"Remy should do it," Piotr tossed his sketch book onto the coffee table and began shaking his head again, "_You _are the one who is always bragging about getting tips from gay men." He pointed a finger at Remy who pursed his lips,

"Yes, but _I_ need to be somewhere else. I can't be expected to do _everything_."

"That's why it's called Ocean's _Eleven_." Pyro clarified with an eye roll, "He works in a _team_."

"Then make Pyro do it." Piotr knit his brow.

"No, that wouldn't work. Kevin is totally into bears." Kitty explained with a wave of her hand.

"... The animal?" Piotr grimaced.

"No, silly. Macho types. I can't tell you how many times I've seen him hitting on random truckers. It's a wonder that man hasn't had his face beaten in before, but somehow he gets away with it."

"Hear that? You're his type." Pyro smirked.

"Except you don't have any facial hair..." Kitty narrowed her eyes as she inspected Piotr carefully, "I'm sure we can make due though, he'd probably trip all over himself like a little ballerina if a big Russian artist struck up a conversation."

"Perfect," Remy slapped his knee, turning back to Kitty with an air of professionalism, "Now let's iron out the rest of the details."

"Wait, I have not agreed to help." Piotr frowned at Remy.

"You want Kitty to get her money, right?" Remy asked with his eyebrows arched.

"Yes-"

"And you don't think she's being treated fairly, do you?"

"No, but-"

"You don't want to help her at all? Not even just a little bit? Be a big hero? Rescue the damsel in distress on your white stallion...?"

Piotr squared his jaw and stared daggers at Remy,

"I can understand if you're a little homophobic. It takes someone incredibly secure in their masculinity to hit on another man." Remy conceded with a smirk and Piotr's frown grew,

"You are trying to manipulate me."

"Yep." Remy grinned. "Is it working?"

Piotr let out a deep breath and shook his head, "If the police show up, do not expect me to hang around. I will act like I do not know you, you are on your own."

"Perfect!" Kitty clapped her hands together and hopped out of her seat, "Let's go dress you gay!"

Piotr's shoulders sagged and he sighed, standing reluctantly to follow the buoyant girl to his room.

She had his closet open by the time the three guys reached Piotr's room and was already sorting through the possibilities.

"I do not know exactly how you expect me to _dress gay_." Piotr knit his brow, watching as Kitty reefed through his closet.

"Just trust me, okay? I know these things. I watch TV." Kitty pulled out a shirt and frowned before putting it back. "Plus, I _know_ Kevin's type. Our first option would be to draw a mustache on you with an eyeliner pencil-"

Remy rolled his eyes and stepped past Piotr into the room, "That's stupid, petite. Have you never put together a disguise before?"

"I said it was our first option, not our _best_ option." Kitty snapped, "Our second option is to stick with the _Village People_."

Piotr knit his brow in confusion and glanced at Pyro who was watching with great interest, "_Village People_?"

"Yeah," Kitty nodded, pulling a blue button up shirt from the closet for closer inspection, "You know, YMCA. Macho Man. Those guys. Obviously, you can't be the Indian. And the S&M guy isn't exactly the look we're going for..."

"Plus, he **has** to have the mustache for the S&M guy." Pyro pointed out from the doorway and Kitty nodded in agreement.

"The cop is too... I don't know... male stripper. That leaves us with the army guy, the cowboy and the construction worker." She hung the blue shirt back up and moved to his dresser, pulling the top drawer open to continue her search for the perfect outfit. "I see you're a boxer man."

Piotr pushed the drawer shut and narrowed his eyes at her, "Where_ is_ this village?"

"Probably somewhere in San Fransisco." Pyro snorted from the peanut gallery and Kitty rolled her eyes,

"You're honestly telling me right now that you've never heard of the _Village People_."

Piotr gave her a shrug and she raised her eyebrows dramatically, "Geeze, I wasn't aware that Russia was located under a _rock_."

"Please just," Piotr rubbed his forehead with his finger tips and squeezed his eyes shut, "Explain."

"Okay, well, the_ Village People_ were this musical group from the 70s. They're totally like, cliche macho men, if you will. They each had their own super rugged, manly career oriented look. I don't think we could get away with a Russian cowboy." She turned to Remy who shrugged in apparent agreement with her assessment before she went back to searching through Piotr's drawers.

"You will not find something in there." He watched as she sifted through his neatly folded clothing, "That is where I keep my painting shirts."

"Perfect!" Kitty lifted out a black shirt splattered with a bit of white paint that had obviously fused itself to the fabric, "Paint, from your grueling job painting houses."

Piotr looked down at the shirt in her hand and furrowed his brow, "That is oil paint..."

"Sure, we know that. But Kevin doesn't know that. For all he knows, it's from doing something super manly for a living. Like hammering up drywall, or building... buildings."

Piotr blinked at her for a moment before looking back at the t-shirt, "I still do not see-"

"Don't question me. Just put it on." She shoved the shirt towards him and he took it with a sigh, quickly swapping out shirts. When he was finished, Kitty was giving him a big goofy grin. "It's perfect."

Pyro crossed his arms and considered Piotr's shirt carefully, "That's a tight shirt, mate."

"That is why I paint in it." Piotr snapped irritably. "I do not wear it out."

"Well, you are tonight big guy." She patted his chest, patting a little slower than necessary on his pectorals before nodding with approval, "Wow, those are hard."

"Alright," Remy took Kitty by the shoulders and moved her out of the way to get back down to work. "This will only work if you have the right attitude Pete. You need to make him think you're interested. You need to flirt."

"But not too much." Kitty added.

"No, not too much. You don't want him to think you're easy."

Pyro snorted out a laugh which he quickly squelched under Remy's hot glare.

"You want to show mild interest. Let him come to you." Kitty instructed, "Believe me, he will."

"And ignore any women who happen to be in the diner. Don't acknowledge them staring at you, just pretend they're not even there." Remy continued.

"That is assuming they will be staring." Piotr said with a wry grin.

Kitty smiled and let her gaze fall to the tight paint stained t-shirt, "Believe me, they will..."

"Make eye contact with him and smile." Remy went on, "Let your gaze linger on him just a little longer than naturally comfortable."

"Make sure you keep smiling. Laugh at his jokes, they'll be stupid, but chuckle at them anyways." Kitty piped in.

"You need to have him totally and completely engaged in you, and only you. His eyes need to be locked onto yours." Remy cut in again. "If this is going to work, you need to be 100% distracting."

"I know how to flirt," Piotr discreetly rolled his eyes, "I am the one with a date with a dancer..."

"Pure luck." Pyro scoffed, "You probably wouldn't have had enough nerve to say a word to any of them. I bet thirty bucks she did all the work. I'm tellin' you guys, this would be a lot easier if you just let me burn the place down."

"No fire." Remy said pointedly to Pyro.

"But if I just used a little bit of-"

"_No fire_." He repeated with slightly more force. "I have something in mind for you too, but you have to promise me, no fire."

Pyro scowled at the ground like a bratty toddler, "Fine."

"Good." Remy grinned at Kitty with a glimmer of excitement in his eye, "Then let's get this show on the road."


	8. The Heist

_A/N- I apologize for the delay in update... I've fallen behind. But hopefully from now on, it'll be smooth sailing! :)_

* * *

It was just after six o'clock when they parked across the road from the diner in Piotr's '99 Chevy Tahoe. Remy shifted the SUV into park and killed the engine, looking to his right with his lips set in a tight frown,

"You ready?"

"I guess." Piotr replied with a low level of enthusiasm.

"Everyone remembers the plan?" He looked over his shoulder at the two huddling forward in the back seat who nodded in unison.

"This won't take long right?" Kitty looked at the dashboard clock and smiled, "I have a date with Lance tonight. Oh God... what if he has to bail me out of jail..."

"He won't have to bail you out of jail, because we're not going to get caught." Remy stated with a frown. "Have some faith. Also, your boyfriend's name is Lance? That's a really stupid name."

"Really, _Remy_?" Kitty cocked an eyebrow, "You wanna go there?"

"This is gunna be great." Pyro grinned, rubbing his hands together, "Operation _Ocean's Eleven _is a-go!"

"Stop calling it that." Remy demanded.

"Well, unless you can think of a better thing to call it. It's perfect! You're George Clooney, tight shirt over there's Matt Damon," He jerked his head towards Kitty, "We got Julia Roberts here and obviously, I'm Brad Pitt."

"What?" Kitty scoffed, "Why am I Julia Roberts, I don't want to be Julia Roberts. She doesn't even do anything in the first movie. If anything _I'm_ Brad Pitt."

Pyro snorted, "You're _not_ Brad Pitt."

"No one is Brad Pitt..." Remy rolled his eyes and exchanged a pained look with Piotr.

"Um, I so am. I'm the one going into the heart of the casino with Danny Ocean. I'm Brad Pitt. You're like... Don Cheadle or something."

"Don Che-" He let out a deep breath, "How could you say that I'm Don flippin' Cheadle?"

"Don Cheadle got to blow things up, Pyro." Remy cut in, in an attempt to wind the argument up, "You like blowing things up."

Pyro pressed his lips together in consideration of this fact and nodded, "True..."

"Plus he's got that silly accent in the movie." Kitty added with a smirk.

He gave her a deep frown, "That's racist."

"Enough! Kitty, you're Julia Roberts. Pyro, you're Don Cheadle. I'm George Clooney and Pete is Brad Pitt. End of discussion." Remy said officially, bringing the argument to a close in spite of the two pouting in the back seat with this final verdict. "Could we focus please? Pyro, go."

Pyro puffed out a breath with a scowl etched on his face. He pushed his door open and turned back ruefully, "I'm Brad Pitt!" He shouted back over his shoulder, hurrying out before anyone could argue with him.

He hurried across the street, pushing the diner door open with a pleasant little ding announcing his arrival, and making his way over to the far back corner, directly beneath the diner's sole security camera as per Remy's instructions.

"I heard y'got really good fries here." He announced to the middle-aged female waitress who brought him a menu, "Is that true?"

"I don't know, I guess." She said with a non-committal shrug, waiting for him to order with her pen hovering over her note pad.

"I'll have a salad then." He winked, "With a side of fries. Gotta try 'em out, y'know?"

She nodded mutely as she scrawled his order down on her note pad,

"And some water. Thanks love." He grinned after her politely when she took his menu back and promptly left. "So bloody friendly." He grumbled under his breath, watching Piotr through the window as he crossed the street in his paint splattered tight black t-shirt and work boots which Kitty had forced him to wear. He pushed through the front door, instantly gaining some impressed stares and collective giggles from the table of young girls seated at the table by the door, but Piotr paid no mind, moving towards Pyro's end of the diner and taking a seat at the counter.

Kitty had described Kevin to the three of them, explaining that he looked like a young Steve Buscemi with better teeth and weirder eyes, so when a thin man in his mid thirties with slightly googly looking eyes came to a stop in front of Piotr, appearing as if out of nowhere with a coffee pot in hand and a grin on face, there was pretty much no mistaking that this was Kevin.

"What can I get you?" He asked as he casually rested a hand on the counter and leaned his weight against it.

"Just coffee for now, thank you." Piotr replied, doing his best to smile and keep eye contact. Which wouldn't have been so difficult if Kevin's left eye didn't appear to wander ever so slightly to the left.

"Wow, that's quite an accent." Kevin observed with a nod as he poured Piotr's coffee, "What is that, German?"

Piotr's polite grin strained and he shook his head slightly, "Russian."

"Ahh, long way from home."

"Yes." Piotr said with a nod, sliding the coffee towards himself, awkwardly ending the exchange between he and Kevin prematurely. He looked at his black coffee as he racked his mind for something else to say to keep Kevin preoccupied when the man replaced the coffee pot back in the machine and reached across the counter to touch some of the dried paint on Piotr's shirt.

"Is this paint? That's going to be a tough one to get out..." He asked as he invaded Piotr's personal space before standing upright with an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, I see a stain and I can hear my mother screaming in my head."

"That is quite alright." Piotr grinned, "Yes, it is paint."

"From what?"

"I am in construction." Piotr lied as per Kitty's instructions.

Kevin's eyebrow quirked and he seemed to look intrigued as his eyes fell to Piotr's bicep, "Oh, well it's not a wonder you're in such good shape then..."

"I am sure carrying that coffee pot around all day keeps you fit as well." Piotr said, lifting the mug to the grin on his lips which caused Kevin to man giggle.

The waitress returned with Pyro's water, leaving a straw on the table next to the glass, distracting him momentarily delightful scene unfolding in front of him, much to his chagrin. He thanked the unfriendly waitress again and watched her walk away before picking up his napkin and dunking it into his glass of water as he watched Kevin continually found some excuse to touch Piotr's right bicep.

With the ease and grace of a seasoned professional, Pyro wadded the wet napkin up into a ball and prepared his shot in the small window of opportunity he had. He glanced up at the camera quickly before tossing the slimy ball up with expert precision, hitting the camera lens dead center. Bullseye.

All that Xbox playing had given him exemplary hand/eye coordination. He would have done a silent fist pump, but he reminded himself that he was Brad Pitt, and that his job was not yet finished.

With the camera disabled, Kitty and Remy would be able to enter through the wall farthest away from where Pyro sat without being spotted. He just needed to think of one more distraction.

So when the unfriendly waitress bustled her way towards him with his salad and side of fries in her hands, Pyro didn't feel entirely bad using her as the main distraction. She _somehow_ managed to trip on a salt shaker, which _mysteriously_ found its way directly in her path, sending both plates skyrocketing into the air before raining back down on her and clattering to the floor amongst a mess of fries and garden salad.

Everyone's attention was understandably drawn to the commotion, giving Kitty and Remy the perfect opportunity to phase in through the wall unnoticed. Kitty pulled Remy by the wrist through the counter, quickly past the kitchen, down the side hall which led to the back office.

"Watch the door. If anyone heads in this direction, let me know." Remy instructed before crossing the cramped office to the computer.

With the door slightly ajar, Kitty had a good line of sight down the hallway into the diner. She could see Pyro helping his server to her feet, picking lettuce off of her in the process and she could clearly hear him making a tossed salad joke.

"Got it." She whispered, giving Remy a thumbs up from across the room.

With a furrow on his brow, Remy went to work, furiously typing away at the keyboard. After a few minutes of silence, Kitty glanced back at him with a hopeful smile,

"How's it going there?"

"For a shitty little diner, they've got a damn good security system." He grumbled, "It's an easy enough task, you're still in the system so I just need to initiate a funds transfer But I can't get into the damn system. I'll get it. It'll just take a bit longer..."

"Hurry up." Kitty whispered, turning back to the hallway, "I'm not sure how much more flirting Pete can handle."

"I think I've got it." Remy said quietly, "I just have to re-route this signal..."

"Do you need a hand?" She asked impatiently, keeping her eye on the dining room.

Remy rolled his eyes, "This isn't _Minesweeper_, Kitty." He tapped away some more on the keyboard before letting out a frustrated grunt, "Shit!"

Kevin stepped into Kitty's line of sight, still chatting with Piotr, as he patted his chest pocket and glanced around quickly. She could hear him saying something about a pen, and then saying that he'd "Be right back" and her eyes grew wide with horror.

"Oh God, he's coming!" She hissed. "He's coming! He's coming!"

Remy flicked the monitor off and swiftly crossed the room, pulling Kitty behind the door and clamping a hand over her mouth. They could hear his footsteps echoing in the hall, getting closer and closer, and right about when they expected him to push the door open-_ WOOSH!_

A bright orange glow momentarily lit up the office through the slightly open door. Kevin was distracted from his quest for a pen and had hurried into the kitchen to yell at the cook.

Kitty pulled Remy's hand away from her mouth and whispered, "Grease fire."

"That's pretty goddamn coincidental." He groused as the over head sprinklers shot to life, spraying water all over the office, "I told him! You heard me tell him no fire! _No fire_!" He cussed, hurrying back to the the computer in a last ditch effort to finish the job when Kitty popped open an umbrella and shoved it into his hand.

"Hold this."

He blinked at her, dumbfounded by her request, "What are you-"

She positioned his hand so the umbrella was shielding the computer screen and keyboard from the over head sprinklers and nudged his body out of her way as she flicked the monitor back on.

"Kitty, I'm not one to admit defeat easily, but we've gotta go-"

She shushed him as she went to work, typing codes and prompts like a mad woman. She clicked a few times on the mouse, wiping away the wet strands of hair that had glued themselves to her face before continuing her last ditch effort.

"I admire your perseverance, but the police will likely be-"

"Done." She clicked a few more times, shutting down the program before phasing her hand into the computer tower, effectively frying the mother board. She took the umbrella from Remy and closed it, replacing it behind the door where she'd found it as he stared at her.

"Let's go!"

"What do you mean done? How the hell did you do that?"

"What?" She shrugged, "Beginners luck."

He frowned skeptically, and shook his head, following her to the door to cautiously peer out into the hall. The diner was deserted, having been washed out when the sprinklers sprang to life. Remy led the way down the hall to the rear entrance which opened up to the back alley next to a set of garbage cans.

At the end of the alley, Piotr flicked the lights on his Tahoe to signal the two over as quickly as possible. They hurried over to the SUV and clamoured into the back seats, promptly slamming the door shut as Piotr pulled away.

"How many times did I say no fire?" Remy scowled at Pyro in the front passenger seat as he rung his socks out.

"I'm Don Cheadle, I blow things up." Pyro retorted with a smug grin. "Besides, I wouldn't have had to set off the grease fire if flirty over here kept his man under control."

"I am not a telepath, I cannot control people." Piotr snapped, "And he was only leaving because he wanted to give me his number. He could not find a pen."

Kitty's eyes lit up and she grinned from ear to ear, "Way to go Pete!"

"So, was our mission a success?" Pyro asked with a hopeful grin.

"Barely." Remy sighed, ruffling a hand through his hair to shake out some water. "No thanks to you."

"Yeah, Remy managed to save the day at the very last minute. He totally pulled it out of his ass." Kitty smiled innocently at Remy when looked at her as if she sustained some type of head injury.

"What are you-"

"You're definitely George Clooney. Only Clooney could pull that off last minute. I bet you had it all under control the whole time, and you were just waiting for the sake of being dramatic."

"That does sound like Remy." Piotr chuckled with a simple head shake.

Remy knit his brow at Kitty, trying to understand why she wasn't gloating about being Brad Pitt coming to the rescue. She wrung the water out of her hair, doing her best to ignore Remy's questioning looks.

"We should celebrate." Pyro twisted around to look at Remy, "Been a long time since ya pulled off a job. Hmm?"

Remy was too busy being confused by Kitty's actions to be offended by Pyro's insinuation that he'd somehow lost his touch, and he grunted by means of acknowledgment. He had fully expected her to ridicule him for not being able to hack into that program in a timely manner, not to mention exaggerate her helpfulness in the situation. But instead she sat quietly, running her fingers through her wet pony tail.

"We should do Star Wars night." Remy concluded. "Tonight."

Pyro knit his brow and twisted around in his seat, about to comment that while Star Wars night was fun, it was by no means a form of celebration.

"I think Kitty's proven herself a part of the group, she deserves to get in on the Star Wars action." Remy concluded with a single nod.

"Seriously?" She blinked, clearly trying to calm the excitement that was bubbling up inside her, "I can do Star Wars night?!"

"I think that sounds like a good idea." Piotr agreed, "I did not have any other plans tonight."

"I have a date in a few hours." Kitty realized as she glanced at the dashboard clock, "But I can totally cancel. It's not like he had anything amazing planned."

"Good. Star Wars night it is then." Remy grinned.


	9. The Star Wars

_A/N- I certainly hope that you all are enjoying the story so far! To scottfan who expressed concern over Remy being a "doofus", I have to say that not being an expert with computers hardly makes him a doofus. I don't enjoy characters who are good at everything. They are boring. _

_That is all. _

* * *

Remy casually leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, watching Kitty as she pulled a freshly popped bag of popcorn out of the microwave and ripped it open after giving it a shake.

"So, what did you tell your boyfriend?"

Kitty looked up from her work pouring the bag of popcorn into a big mixing bowl. "I told him I was sick. He's kind of a germaphobe, I knew he'd stay away if he thought I was contagious."

"You realize he's going to find out you're living with three men eventually, right?"

"Not necessarily." She said indignantly, tossing the empty popcorn bag into the trash, "I'm pretty good at hiding things."

"Like how you're secretly some kind of computer wiz kid?" He asked casually, moving over to the refrigerator to pull his baby carrots out in preparation for the nights events. "Don't give me that shocked, blank look. You knew exactly what you were doing, tonight. You didn't hesitate once. You didn't even break a sweat."

Kitty let out a dismissive laugh, "I told you, that was just a fluke-"

"I've been breaking into properties since I was seven. And I've been hacking into computer systems since I was sixteen. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm pretty good. You hacked in past that firewall before I even knew what was going on." He popped a baby carrot in his mouth and chewed it silently, as they exchanged a pregnant stare. "And you don't want anyone knowing what you're capable of. So my question is; Why would you hide it? What importance does it have?" He narrowed his eyes playfully, "Did you do something illegal? Aside from earlier this evening of course..."

"No." She knit her brow, "I'm not _hiding_ anything."

"Is that why you have all this money Rogue claims you're hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything!"

"Then why didn't you put _extensive_ compufer skills on your resume?" He raised an eyebrow and chomped on another baby carrot. "Why'd you lie and say I Danny Ocean'd the night?"

Kitty dropped her gaze to the bowl of popcorn and shook her head, "You're reading way too far into this. It was a silly coincidence. That's it. Okay? I don't like computers, I don't own a computer, I don't understand computers. That's it. End of story." She scooped the bowl up off the counter and phased through the counter into the living room where Pyro and Piotr were in the midst of a heated discussion over which Star Wars movie they should begin with.

Kitty set the bowl of popcorn down and sat between them on the couch next to Piotr who was glaring at Pyro in the beige arm chair. "It is not _baloney_."

"It is mate. You try to make everything all artsy fartsy, like that'll back up your premise. I say, it makes logical sense to start with episode_ four_. The original."

"It makes no logical sense at all. The movies are meant to be watched in chronological order. The story makes less sense if you watch the original three first."

"Then why did George Lucas make them that way in the first place, hmm?" Pyro raised an eyebrow.

Remy set down four beers on the coffee table and flopped down on the arm chair across from Pyro, "They have this argument every time. Pyro just has the hots for Leia. We always start with episode one." He informed Kitty as he twisted the top off one of the beers and handed it to her.

"Well good, because if you started with four, you'd finish with episode three, and that would be a terrible disappointment." Kitty stated, taking the beer with slight reluctance.

"See?" Piotr grinned at Pyro.

"You're all full of shit. Episode three was epic. Watching Darth Vader become _Darth Vader_? It's hilarious! I love watchin' people go crazy..."

"It's the story of his life." Remy smiled as he pulled the movie out of its case and stood up to slip it in the player.

"Alright, the rules to the drinking game are really simple." Pyro began, reaching for one of the beers on the table to twist the top off. "Since we're watching _Episode One_," He sneered in Remy's direction, "You take a drink any time anyone says midichlorians, any time a battle droid says '_roger roger_', whenever pod racers are mentioned or shown, whenever anyone turns a lightsaber on or off, and basically any time Jar Jar Binks annoys you. I get drunk pretty quick."

"Damn Jar Jar." Remy grumbled under his breath as he slumped back down in his seat.

"You wouldn't have to deal with Jar Jar if you'd put _A New Hope_ on instead." Pyro took a swig of beer and shrugged, "Just sayin'."

Thirty minutes into the movie, Pyro was already on his third beer and in the grey area between sober and tipsy. He took another swig of beer when Jar Jar Binks showed up on screen and shook his head, pointing at the screen with the bottle, "Ya gotta hand it to the kid, ya know? He's what... ten? Nine? And he's putting the moves on Natalie Portman."

"It does not... sit well." Piotr frowned, "He seems too young. It looks wrong."

"He's just nine and she's fourteen." Kitty grinned to herself, "Yeah he's, probably gunna marry her someday... Well I know he built C3P0 and I've heard how fast his pod can go-"

Pyro let out a long groan, effectively cutting her off, "Ugh! Stop Weird Al-ing!"

Remy pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a breath, "We should add a rule to the game. Every time Kitty makes a Weird Al reference we throw a bottle at her."

"Whatever. I've only done it a few times." Kitty rolled her eyes.

"Four. You've done it four times." Remy shook his head, "And that is four times too many."

"Yeah, drunk Kitty is annoying." Pyro stated louder than necessary.

Kitty chuckled with a little snort, "I've only had half a beer."

"You are a lightweight." Piotr smiled, "It is a good thing Jar Jar Binks does not bother you so much."

"Mesa thinkin' you be right." She laughed to herself again and took a drink, "My Jar Jar annoyed me, so I had a drink."

Pyro snorted out a boisterous laugh, "You're the Jar Jar Binks of the group!"

"Am not." Kitty frowned, "You're the Jar Jar Binks. You're the one with the accent."

"Accent card again, eh? You're racist, Kitty."

Piotr let out a breath and turned to Pyro, "I do not think that means what you think it means."

Pyro slapped his leg and began laughing uncontrollably at Piotr's unintentional reference to _The Princess Bride, _managing to gasp out single unintelligible words between laughter.

They managed to hear the knock on the door above Pyro's giggle fest and Remy let out a sigh, "Thank God, the pizza's here. We need to get some food into Pyro, soak up some of that booze. It's only been a half an hour and he's already turned into the Riddler."

Kitty hopped up and hurried over to the door, taking the two pizza boxes in one hand and paying the pizza boy with her other. She returned to the living room, placing the two boxes on the coffee table. "I'll go get some plates."

"Katya," Piotr chuckled, "We do not need plates."

Pyro ripped the first box open and dug in, explaining how much he loved Hawaiian pizza, and Kitty sat back down next to Piotr.

"Aren't you guys worried about like... crumbs or spills?"

"You worry too much." He informed her calmly, "Relax."

"That's right Shiela, you're living with men now. We don't care if things get a little messy." Pyro chimed in, taking an overly large mouthful of Hawaiian pizza. "little bit of pizza sauce never hurt anyone." He mumbled through his chewed up food.

"Pizza in general isn't a wise decision." Remy grimaced at the sight of Pyro chewing with his mouth open. "It's full of garbage your body doesn't need."

"Peperoni is garbage?" Kitty raised an eyebrow as she lifted a piece of pizza out of the box, "Because I'm pretty sure it's awesome. And if garbage is awesome, then just call me Oscar the Grouch."

Pyro barked out a laugh, "He lives in a garbage can, I get it."

Piotr grinned and picked a piece of pizza, "Do not listen to Remy, he can come across as a buzz kill."

"That's because he's eating rabbit food instead of pizza." Pyro snorted, taking another large bite of pizza. "It's disgusting."

They watched the rest of the movie, continuing on with their drinking game, and by the time the end credits had begun to roll, both Pyro and Remy had passed out. Remy uttered a gentle snore and Kitty squinted at him with a frown,

"I'm not sure if he fell asleep or if its alcohol induced."

"Alcohol." Piotr nodded, "This happens ever time we watch Phantom Menace. they really do not like Jar Jar Binks."

"Obviously." Kitty giggled into her beer bottle as she took a sip, "He never really bothered me that much. I thought he was kind of funny."

"And that is why you are only on your second beer." Piotr smiled.

"What about you? You've had as many as them and you seem totally fine."

"Katya," Piotr chuckled and shook his head, "I am from Russia. They put vodka in your baby bottle back home."

Kitty's snort was amplified by the bottle and she choked on a laugh, "Did you bring vodka with you to school instead of juice boxes?"

"Of course." Piotr grinned, "How else were we supposed to stay warm?"

Kitty laughed some more and curled her feet up underneath her, letting her head rest against the back of the couch comfortably. "Is it really that cold over there?"

"No." He smiled, "It is very big, there are actually some places in Russia that do not even see snow."

"What about where you're from? What's it like there?"

"It is beautiful." Piotr gave her a distant smile and sighed with the memory, "My family owns a wheat farm and I spent most of my childhood working with my father."

Kitty let out a snort, "I spent most of my childhood trying to keep my Tamagotchi pet alive. Which is actually a lot more work than you'd think."

Piotr furrowed his brow, "Tamagotchi? What is that?"

"It's a virtual pet on a key chain. I know it doesn't sound like much, but those things need to be fed and everything..."

Piotr's face lit up with laughter, "That sounds like very taxing work."

"Oh it was. I brought her to school with me and everything. I actually started falling behind in my classes, so my mom finally said she'd babysit during the day for me." Kitty's smile grew stale and she turned her attention to her feet. "That was a long time ago."

"I am sure I remember something like that back home. The children in our area did not have much money for electronics."

"So what did you guys do? Play like, human Tetris or something?"

Piotr cracked up and shook his head, "That would be interesting to see, yes?"

"I'd pay to see it."

"I drove the tractor on the farm; that was fun. It is how I learned to drive." He recalled with a smirk, "It was very shocking coming to America and driving on your streets, much different from a tractor."

"Oh sure, the suspension would be completely different. Plus, I don't imagine cars would be all that good for harvesting wheat." Kitty pointed out.

"No, they would not." He chuckled, "They are not sharp enough at all."

Kitty giggled and shook her head, "I can't get the mental image of you trying to drive your car through a corn field..."

"I have done it." Piotr grinned as Kitty's laughter picked up, "It was not on purpose, but I do not recommend it."

She limply slapped Piotr's arm and let out a snort, "You're serious!"

"Oh yes. I will just say, I am very grateful for seat belts. My undercarriage has never been the same."

Kitty's burst out into a fit of laughter, "And I thought _I_ was a bad driver!"

"This was when I first moved here!" Piotr defended with a laugh, "I did not understand the importance of the parking break!"

"I guess tractors don't have parking breaks." She responded between laughs.

"There is not much need for them." He grinned, "The wheat field is fairly flat."

Kitty sighed in an attempt to quell her laughter, "I'm sorry... I'm obviously more drunk than we thought."

Piotr chuckled and shook his head, "Do not be sorry. It has been a long time since I laughed like that."

"Me too." She smiled wistfully.

"My brother used to entertain us. He would keep us in stitches with his jokes. Life was much less complicated back then." Piotr said somberly, "It was much easier to laugh."

"I hear ya." Kitty nodded.

"I miss it. I miss my home and my family."

"Yeah, me too." She agreed softly.

"They are so far away... sometimes I feel like I will never see them again."

Kitty knit her brow and nodded silently.

"I would give anything to be able to afford to move them here with me, but that is nothing but a pipe dream." He said with a wry grin. "Besides I cannot see my mother wanting to leave. She is very stubborn."

She closed her eyes and nodded again.

"You are quiet." Piotr furrowed his brow, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Kitty answered quickly with a single nod as she stood up with a half smile, "I just think the beer is finally hitting me. I must be a sleepy drunk, I should go to bed."

Piotr gave her a nod and the grin returned to her face suddenly,

"You should too. Tomorrow's your big date, you need your beauty sleep. Don't want to show up with bags under your eyes, right?"

He smiled back at her, "Right."

She tiptoed past the two sleeping beauties and gave Piotr a wave at the hallway, "Night, big guy."

He returned her wave, "Goodnight."

She turned to leave, only to pause and look back at him over her shoulder, "You'll get to see your family again Pete. I know it." She gave him a small reassuring smile before disappearing down the hall and into her room.


	10. The Color Dilemma

A/N-_ Thank you for your reviews! Enjoy :) Scottfan- Just give it time, Remy is still adjusting to having a chick live there. Which is a buzz kill for him. As for Lance, this issue will soon be addressed... _**dun dun dunnn**_...  
_

* * *

The shrill ring of the phone was quite an unwelcome way to wake up. Remy reluctantly opened his eyes, immediately recognizing that he was still in the living room, sleeping in the very uncomfortable chair with his legs hanging over the one arm of the chair, and judging from the crick in his neck, his neck hanging over the other arm of the chair. He carefully sat up, being sure he didn't turn his head too quickly, lest he did some serious damage, and rubbed the back of his neck with a groan.

"Good morning." Piotr greeted from the foyer as he pulled his jacket on, "Did you have a nice sleep?"

Remy squinted in his direction and grumbled in response.

"I have told you before not to drink so much, you are not getting any younger-"

"Shut. Up." Remy growled, "Who the hell's calling so early? What is it, like six in the morning?"

"It is nine thirty." Piotr smiled again, "And Pyro beat you into the bathroom."

Remy cursed loudly, wincing at the pain such exertion caused his head. "He throws up in the shower when he's hung over." He complained as he searched his nearby coat pocket for a pair of sunglasses.

By the time Kitty skipped down the hallway and into the living room, Piotr had left for work and Remy had found his sunglasses and stretched out on the couch.

"I got an interview!" She shouted, causing Remy to writhe in pain. "Sorry." She whispered.

Remy grunted in response and Kitty perched herself down on the edge of the couch next to him which earned her a glare from under his shades.

"What's with the sunglasses? Is your future so bright you have to wear shades? Are you going to start wearing your sunglasses at night?"

He groaned and rubbed a hand on his forehead, "I'm seriously regretting the decision of letting you live here..."

"Hey, it's not my fault you hate Jar Jar Binks, grumpy pants." Kitty folded her arms and watched as Remy carefully pushed himself to a sitting position.

"My eyes are extra sensitive to the light. It's... yet another downside to my mutation." Remy explained irritably, "And when I'm hungover, they're _extra_ extra sensitive. So I wear the sunglasses. Okay?"

"What do you mean_ yet another downside_...?"

He let out a sigh and rubbed at his eyes, "I'm not in the mood for a pep talk, Dr. Phil."

"I don't know, I just think your eyes are part of who you are. You should be proud of it."

He gave her a short smile, "Just like how proud you are of your secret computer abilities?"

She gave him a level stare, "I'm serious, Remy. You act all cocky and macho all the time, but deep down... you're a delicate flower."

"Alright, you can go away now."

Kitty smiled, "You're just waiting for the right opportunity to bloom-"

"_Now_."

"I have to go figure out what I'm going to wear but," She rested a hand on his knee and gave him a look filled with sincerity, "If you change your mind and feel like talking-"

"Go away!" He shouted, which caused him to wince in pain again.

Kitty giggled to herself as she scurried away to her room to find an interview appropriate outfit. Eventually Pyro joined Remy in the living room, and after a good half an hour of preparation, Kitty emerged from her room with extra flourish.

"Geeze, I thought you died in there or something." Remy muttered, ignoring Kitty's dramatic pose with her arms spread wide open to show off her pant suit.

"Well?!" She asked impatiently, "How do I look?"

Pyro glanced up and muttered an intelligible response before turning his blood shot eyes back to the TV screen.

Remy gave her a shrug, "Fine."

Kitty rolled her eyes and let her hands drop to her sides, "You guys are seriously no help."

"Cripes, I gotta call my work and tell them I'm too sick to be useful tonight." Pyro grumbled as he rolled himself off the couch while Kitty pulled the pocket sized mirror out of her purse and gave herself one last check.

"Will they let you do that, Pyro? I thought the Wiggles shot on a tight schedule."

Remy snorted and Pyro glared at her silently before stalking off to his room.

"They probably don't like it when their Wiggles show up hung over." Remy pointed out when Kitty dropped the mirror back into her purse, "Bad example."

"Sure, but at least hung over is a better example than drunk." Kitty shrugged.

Remy grinned, resting his head against the back of the couch as if his noggin were made of glass. "Touche."

The rest of the day was spent in his room, sleeping off his hangover. When he finally emerged from his cave, Kitty was back, sitting on the couch eating left over pizza, and Pyro was in the arm chair playing his X Box. She looked up at him and gave him a grin,

"You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby."

Remy looked at her from over the top of his glasses as she took another bite, "Did you just call me baby?"

"_The Boys of Summer_. It's a song?" She rolled her eyes when he continued to stare blankly at her, "Never mind."

He trudged into the living room and flopped down on the couch next to her, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and taking the sunglasses off to rub his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Four-ish." She shrugged, "Pyro's been playing this since I got back and Pete came home to get ready for his big date."

"You had an interview, didn't you?" He glanced at her and she nodded,

"Yeah, didn't go well. Turns out a "Personal Consort" isn't an assistant, it's a hooker." She gave him a frown, "They really need to be more descriptive in their ad's. But I was the best dressed candidate there, so that's a plus."

"Yeah..." Remy nodded with amusement written all over his face, "You dress much better than a hooker."

"Except for this one guy. He had a really cute skirt on, and killer legs." She said thoughtfully, "I should have asked him where he bought it..."

"Pant suits are sexy." Pyro chimed in, "Like, in a hot librarian kind of way."

Kitty sneered and pulled the suit jacket off, leaving her in a hot pink camisole.

Pyro smirked and looked at her through the corner of his eye, "That's right baby, take it off."

Before Kitty could voice her disgust, Piotr stepped out from the hallway and gave them all a quick wave.

"Wish me luck!"

Remy and Pyro grunted in unison and Kitty frowned, "Wait. Is that what you're wearing?"

"No, I am going to change when I get there." He responded with a sarcastic smile.

Kitty gave him a once over and shook her head, "No. You _cannot_ wear that."

"Why not?" Piotr frowned, looking down at himself, "You do not like it?"

"You're wearing a golden yellow sweater, Pete. Who do you think you are, Mister Rogers?"

"I do not know who that is-"

"Well, if Anya knows who that is, then you're totally screwed. And not in the good way."

Pyro laughed with a snort and Kitty stood up shaking her head,

"No, that colour is totally wrong for your skin tone. You cannot pull off golden yellow."

"What is wrong with yellow? It represents happiness."

"Uh, against your skin tone, it represents nausea." She rolled her eyes, "You're a winter! You should not be wearing golden yellow!"

"Here we go." Remy mumbled, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"A winter! He's a winter! A clear winter, too which he is totally not utilizing..."

Remy knit his brow, "A winter? And what are you... a spring pixie?"

"No, I'm _obviously_ a summer." She rolled her eyes, "Pyro is a spring."

"Hey!" Pyro straightened up a bit, taking Kitty's comment as a definite insult.

Piotr looked at his watch and shook his head, "I do not have time for-"

"Listen, it's really simple. There are two main skin tones. Warm and cool." Kitty explained quickly, "And then those two categories are broken up in two, so you have a softer cool, a sharper cool, a brighter warm and a more muted warm. Summer, winter, spring fall. Get it?"

Piotr blinked at her and shook his head, "Not really."

Kitty let out a sigh and shook her head at Piotr, "Honestly Pete you're the artist, you should know these things about colour."

"So... what am I then?" Remy asked with piqued interest, "I mean, not that I care or anything."

"You've got the auburn hair and the warmer, deeper complexion. You're totally an autumn." She said with a simple shrug, "And golden yellow would look_ good_ on Remy."

"Oh I wouldn't wear that sweater..." Remy shook his head.

"But because you have a cool complexion," Kitty continued, "It totally washes you out."

Piotr hesitated for a moment before giving her a blank shrug, "I have an orange sweater... is that better? Orange initiates conversation..."

Kitty groaned, taking Piotr by the hand and pulling him back to his room with Pyro and Remy curiously following and hovering in the doorway. She ripped open his closet and scanned its contents for the second time in as many days, "Think of _winter_ colours. The colors you would use painting a winter landscape. Black and white, deep red, green, blue... you see? You want to go with clear colours, not muted, and definitely not warm. Stay _away_ from warm."

"Okay..."

She pulled out a red shirt and held it up to him, considering it for a moment before tossing it on the bed, "The right colour will make you look amazing. I swear." She pulled out a black shirt and held it up to him, cocking her head to the side and squinting, "It's good but it doesn't make you pop..."

"I look good in black too, right?" Remy asked casually from the doorway, "I mean, not that I buy into this whole crazy theory of yours... but I wear a lot of black. It's kind of my thing."

Kitty squinted at Remy and knit her brow, "What?"

"Nothing." Remy shrugged defensively, "I was just... wondering..." He glared at Pyro who had begun to giggle at Remy's curiosity, "Look at you, giggling like a little spring pixie."

"That ain't funny." Pyro frowned.

"Ah hah!" Kitty ripped a bright blue button up shirt out of the closet and held it up to Piotr's chest with a big smile, "Oh this is perfect." She turned him towards the small mirror he had on his wall and grinned at his reflection, "Seriously perfect. It makes your blue eyes just sparkle. Totally gorgeous. Anya will be all over you."

Piotr took the shirt and looked down at it with a smile, "If you say so-"

"_Trust_ me, Pete."

He looked back up at her and his smile softened, "Thank you Katya."

She gave him a grin and shrugged his thanks off, "Friends don't let friends wear horrible Bill Cosby sweaters in public."

"Well then you are a good friend." He chuckled, "And I _do_ know who Bill Cosby is."

She turned to leave as Piotr swapped shirts, with Pyro and Remy again following her back down the hall, "Okay, I will admit that shirt made his eyes look... blue." Remy shrugged, "But my eyes are different..."

"Yes, Remy. You can wear black. You look great in black." Kitty reassured him. "But you might want to reconsider that trench coat of yours."

"My coat?" Remy stiffened and Pyro snorted with amusement. "What's wrong with my coat." He demanded.

"I don't know, it's just a little too... blah. The colour is way too pale for you. You could probably pull off like, a black pea coat or something..."

"Pea coat?" Remy grimaced as he said the words, "Now I know you're full of shit." He chuckled and exchanged a look with Pyro, "There is no such thing as a _pea coat_."

Kitty sighed and shook her head, "You guys are hopeless."


	11. The Boyfriend

_A/N- For every review you leave me, Oprah donates a pair of TOMS to a homeless dog. True story. So please review. Do it for the dogs. _

_Okay, I can't back that up. But it does make this author happy. And it also makes LizzieTurbo happy, because then she doesn't have to listen to me complain about my lack of reviews. ;)_

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It was shortly after nine in the morning when Piotr emerged from his room, finding Kitty and Rogue eating pancakes at the bar partition in the kitchen.

Kitty's face lit up when she saw him, and she hurried to swallow her mouthful of pancake to give him a wide grin, "Hey big guy... how'd it go?"

Piotr smiled sheepishly as he shuffled into the kitchen, "We had a very nice time."

"How late were you?" Kitty wagged her eyebrows at him suggestively, "I didn't hear you come home."

"I am a gentleman Katya, I do not kiss and tell." Piotr grinned as he helped himself to the stack of pancakes on the counter, "But I will say that it was fun..."

"That's code for no sex." Rogue chuckled, taking a big mouthful of her pancakes.

Kitty rolled her eyes and shook her head to prompt Piotr to continue talking,

"Anya loved the shirt you picked out. I am going into work in a bit, maybe you could help me decide what to wear?"

"Totally!" Kitty nodded enthusiastically, "That red shirt of yours would be perfect, and I'm pretty sure I saw a pair of faded jeans hiding in your closet."

"Woah, hold on a sec." Rogue lifted up her fork, "You pick out his clothes? What are you, the den mother now?" She chuckled to herself, "Are you going to start laying them out the night before for him?"

Kitty rolled her eyes again, and gave Rogue a look of exasperation, "I don't _lay out his clothes_, I help him dress to look his best." She turned back to Piotr and shielded her mouth from Rogue, "Ignore her, she's just jealous because I'm not around to lay out her clothes anymore."

Piotr smiled and leaned against the counter with his plate of pancakes, pouring some syrup over them. "She is very helpful."

"I caught him trying to leave the house in _yellow_." Kitty grimaced, "Seriously. With that complexion."

"Oh the humanity." Rogue said dryly, going back to cutting up her pancake with her fork.

"I know right?!" Kitty shook her head in memory of the event, "I should get paid for this stuff. It's not like the job offers are pouring in..." She stopped and turned to Rogue suddenly, "Holy crap, I _could_ get paid to do this stuff!"

Rogue eyed Kitty skeptically, "Sure, you _could_ get paid to do a lot of stuff. Do you have anymore interviews coming up?"

Kitty shrugged and took a bite of her pancake, "Yeah, I've got one lined up tomorrow. It's a receptionist position for a respectable looking paper company. I don't know how well I'd do as a receptionist though... too much sitting."

"You do have excellent compufer skills..." Rogue nodded thoughtfully with a smirk.

Kitty turned her attention back to Piotr, choosing to ignore Rogue's blatant jab at her resume's first draft, "So tell us about Anya. What's she like?"

"She is wonderful." Piotr grinned, "Very smart, which I do not think people give her much credit for. She has worked very hard to get where she is."

"It's not like dancing is much of an intellectual profession..." Rogue glanced at Kitty, "Much like a personal image consultant."

Kitty shot Rogue a sour look before turning back to Piotr, "Dancing is very competitive. I know, I watch _So You Think You Can Dance_."

"And she has the best sense of humor." he continued.

"Humor is_ very_ important." Kitty nodded thoughtfully, pointing at Piotr with her fork, "You don't want to get stuck with some sensitive sap who thinks you're always laughing at her. I mean, even if you are always laughing at her, a real woman laughs along. Most of the time."

Piotr smiled at his pancakes as he set the plate down on the counter across from Kitty, "She is just... perfect."

Kitty _awed_ and Rogue rolled her eyes, "Please, give it a week. You'll find something wrong with her. I guarantee it. Nobody is perfect."

"Ahh chere," Remy breezed in, leaning against the counter next to Rogue with that well formulated look of seduction on his face, "_Nobody _is such a strong word..."

She knit her brow and looked at Remy through the corner of her eye, "You're not perfect either Remy, believe me. I've been there." She tapped his temple with the tip of her fork.

His smile widened and he inched towards her a tiny bit, dropping his voice to a nearly inaudible level, "I wasn't talking about me."

Rogue raised an eyebrow at him skeptically before turning back to her pancakes, "I've been called many things in my day, Lebeau, and perfect sure as hell ain't one of them."

"Doesn't mean it's not true, fleur." He murmured, circling around behind her closer than necessary. He casually placed a hand on her lower back as he reached between her and Kitty for an apple from the bowl in the center of the island, letting his hand drift a little bit south once he had the apple in his free hand, "It just means people aren't paying close enough attention."

He took a bite of his apple and gave her a wink. Rogue quizzically furrowed her brow at him for a moment before giving her head a resigned shake, "Right. Well, I'm going to go, because I've lost my perfect appetite." She announced as she stood up, turning to Kitty in time to miss Remy's grin drop, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I want to know how your interview goes."

"Aye aye Captain." Kitty gave Rogue a salute.

"And this whole image consultant thing... just... think it over." Rogue said from over her shoulder before exiting the apartment.

"Image consultant?" Remy took another bite of his apple and sat down where Rogue had been sitting, frowning at the door she'd just made her hasty exit through.

"Yeah!" Kitty lit up, "I just thought of it. I could totally help people with their colour analysis and personal style, and charge for it. Amazing, right? Sometimes I just think I am too smart..." She took another bite of pancake and Remy turned his attention back to her, nodding thoughtfully.

"It is a pretty good idea." He gave her a half grin, tipping his head to the side slightly, "Maybe I could be your first official client."

"Really?!" She beamed.

He lidded his eyes and slowly dragged his index finger down her shoulder, "I bet you could dress me up _real_ nice..."

Kitty shivered and blinked at Remy, "Are you flirting with me?"

"I could help you with some of your clothes too... hmm?" He cocked an eyebrow suggestively and Kitty's face instantly turned a bright shade of pink,

"That's- I don't- I don't know what-" She stammered before Remy smacked the counter with a frown.

"Dammit, I knew it wasn't me!" He looked up at Piotr who looked less than amused, "That is how a girl is _supposed_ to act when Remy puts the moves on her!" He gestured to Kitty who was slowly gaining composure, "Look at her! She's all hot and bothered. _That's_ the Lebeau effect! She _has_ to be gay! That is the only logical explanation for it." He shook his head with a note of finality on his decision.

"Gay?" Kitty shook her head once she had calmed her tingling nerves, "Rogue isn't gay."

"Yes, she is." Remy took another chomp of his apple and shook his head, "It's the only thing that makes sense."

"Remy, trust me. I shared a room with her for five years. She's not gay. Not even a little."

Piotr smirked at the look of frustration that spread across Remy's face, "It appears that she is just not interested."

"No, that can't be it." Remy muttered to himself, "And I'm _obviously_ not losing my touch." He glanced at Kitty who gave him a goofy grin in return.

"Did you really think my personal image consultant was a good idea?" She asked with her goofy grin.

"What?" He looked back at her and shook his head, "No, that's a horrible idea. Nobody in their right mind would pay for that shit."

Her shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh, "You suck."

The smile returned to his face and he let out a chuckle, "I really had you going didn't I? I gotta tell you, petite, you gave me a really big ego boost. I needed that." He patted her on the head and she scowled at him,

"Maybe Rogue's just not interested in you because you're a despicable human being?"

"No... that can't be it." He frowned thoughtfully, "There must be something wrong with her. I give up trying. I'm writing her off. You shouldn't mess around with people you see all the time anyways, it's just not good planning."

"You are a planner." Piotr gave Kitty a sarcastic smile, causing her to giggle, "You must have subconsciously driven her away."

It was then that Pyro stumbled out of his room and down the hall, running his hand through his wildly untamed ginger locks and then down over his face, "Crikey, can't a guy get some extra shut eye around here?"

Kitty turned to inform him that it was past nine, and that he should consider going to bed earlier if he was that lacking in sleep, but instead she recoiled in disgust, holding her hand up to block Pyro out from the neck down, "God almighty Pyro, where are your pants?!"

"Couldn't find 'em." He yawned.

Remy took another bite of his apple and gave Kitty a smirk, "Just be grateful he found his boxers. Besides, you said you wouldn't mind nudity."

"Yeah well, I was bluffing." Kitty grimaced as Pyro stretched out the kinks in his back before scratching his nether regions.

"What's for breakfast?" He asked as he eyed the stack of pancakes behind Piotr, "Yum! Pancakes!"

There was a knock on the door and Remy promptly stood up, dramatically gesturing to his chair, "Take a seat." He gave Kitty wink over his shoulder before heading to the door.

When Pyro sat down Kitty's eyes shot skyward, "Pyro! Your... dingos have escaped!"

Piotr frowned, "That is not sanitary..."

Pyro grinned as he adjusted himself, "I can't help it mate, they've got a mind of their own."

"Where's my girlfriend?!" Came the angry voice from the doorway Remy was hovering at.

Remy chuckled and rested his forearm against the doorjamb casually, "You're gunna have to be a bit more specific, mon amie. I get quite a bit of female traffic through here-"

"You wanna do this the hard way Cajun? Let's rock and roll."

Upon hearing the horribly familiar pun, Kitty jumped to her feet and shouted out, "Lance?!"

Remy stepped back from the door, turning to look back at Kitty.

"Wait,_ Avalanche_ Lance, is your _boyfriend_ Lance?" Remy snorted and shook his head with a smirk, "Damn petite, you have _bad_ taste..."

"You wanna shake things up? Let's go, hombre." Lance frowned, giving Remy a threatening little shove which erased the smirk from Remy's face.

"Touch me again and I'll break every bone in your hand." He warned through gritted teeth.

"Stop!" Kitty held up her hand, "Lance, what are you _doing_ here? How did you... even know where I live?"

"I followed Rogue." Lance lifted his chin, adjusting his denim vest indignantly, "I waited for her to leave because... you know... we don't get along."

Pyro snorted, "There's no surprise there. I've yet to meet another human being aside from this little Sheila she does get along with. Am I right?" he grinned, waiting for some acknowledgment that never really came.

Lance eyed Pyro in his state of undress before cutting his eyes back to Kitty, "What the **hell** is going on?"

"These... are my roommates..." Kitty said with a pathetically sweet smile. "Surprise!"

"These are your fu-" He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Piotr with a scowl before squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose, "Your roommates?! What are you **_thinking_**?! Did you think I'd be okay with this?!"

Kitty folded her arms, "Frankly, it's really none of your business. I mean, I don't need to ask your permission to live with someone."

"Uh... in this type of situation Kitty, yes. Yes you do." Lance said with wide eyes, "What about that_ girls_ night you had? When you said you were too sick to go on our date?!"

"It was just like, a roommate bonding... thing." Kitty shrugged, "Besides, it's not like you ever have anything planned. I didn't think it would be a big deal skipping out on one date night eating Mac and Cheese and watching 24 re runs."

"Man, I had the movie times all written out and an Applebee's coupon all ready to go. And do you know how hard it is to find a theater that plays Will Ferrel movies in 3D?! It's damn hard!"

"Wow, that sounds like... a real romantic date." Remy gave Kitty a disapproving head shake, "You really missed out."

"Quiet, you." Lance hissed at him.

"You're totally over reacting." Kitty shook her head, "This is why I didn't want to tell you in the first place-"

"Over reacting." He let out an unamused laugh, "My girlfriend is shacked up with three guys! Dudes I used to _work with_! I don't think there's any level of reacting that would be considered _over reacting, _Kitty."

"You never worked with us." Remy shook his head.

"More like... work adjacent." Piotr suggested, gaining a nod of approval from Remy.

"He does have a point, Sheila." Pyro said with a nod, helping himself to Kitty's plate of lukewarm pancakes. "I mean, _I'm_ practically naked right now... You help Petey get dressed _daily_-"

"Shut it!" Kitty snapped quickly, "This entire living situation is completely platonic. I have no interest in any one of these boys. At all."

Remy grinned, "Well... I wouldn't say _no_ interest..." He gave her a wink and she rolled her eyes.

Lance let out a deep breath through his clenched jaw and tried to calm himself, "I tried Kitty. I tried being there for you. I tried being the attentive boyfriend. I stuck around, you know?"

Kitty's brow pinched and she shook her head, "Lance-"

"No." He held up his hand, "I haven't even seen you since you moved out a month ago! An entire month! I went to see you at work and they told me you were fired and tried to burn the place down! I don't even know who you are anymore!"

"Woah, hold on. I did _not_ try to burn the place down. They have no proof."

He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head, "I don't want to be the douchebag who dumps his girlfriend when she's... going through_ stuff_, but you've been pushing me away for months, and dammit I'm done."

Kitty squared her jaw and frowned.

"I'm _done_." He repeated, to emphasis his point.

"Fine." She responded evenly.

He gave his head a shake before turning around giving Remy one last scowl before stomping out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

The room was plunged into awkward silence as Kitty stared at the floor for a long two minutes. Finally Piotr cleared his throat,

"Katya-"

"Nope, I'm good." She said quickly before he could say anything more. "Um... I'm just going to go see if I can find those faded jeans for you."

"Katya, you don't have to-"

"It's okay." She nodded with a watery smile, "I'm good." She gave them a thumbs up before turning to walk down the hall to Piotr's room, leaving the three men in an awkward silence of their own.

Eventually, Pyro scratched his nose and let out a breath, "I'd go set his stupid Jeep on fire if I could find my pants."


	12. The Danger Zone

_A/N- Wow! So much love for the last chapter guys! You must really have wanted Oprah to give those TOMS to those homeless dogs. I'm going for a fancy 3D ultrasound tomorrow so you all can celebrate with me by reading the chapter a day early! And don't forget to review. :)_

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After waiting at the door for a good two minutes with her knocks going unanswered, she decided to try the doorknob. Luckily for her, the household of mutants didn't feel locks were overly necessary, and the door opened. She was a little shocked, she had sort of expected more from Remy, but he'd been acting so weird since Kitty moved in that she really didn't know what to expect from him anymore.

She spotted Pyro sitting on the couch with a game controller in hand, transfixed on the television set and shook her head, "Hey dipshit, thanks for getting the door for me."

He glanced over at her and gave her a nod, "It's open."

"Yeah, thanks." She responded dryly, shutting the door behind her, "Don't you have a job or something? Some way of contributing to society?"

"Yes." He snipped, looking over at her suddenly, "Why, what did you hear?"

Rogue knit her brow in confusion over his defensive tone and decided that small talk with Pyro was clearly not a good idea, "Is Kitty back from her interview yet?"

Pyro was seemingly satisfied that she was done asking questions and had gone back to his game trance, "I don't know, ask Remy."

She let out an impatient breath, "And where the hell is _he_?"

Pyro silently jerked his head towards the patio door and Rogue grumbled under her breath as she crossed the living room to the patio. She stepped outside, sliding the door shut behind her, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Remy in his boxer briefs, fully reclined on a poolside style lounge chair on the balcony.

"Are you tanning?"

His eyes popped open at the sound of her voice and he turned his head just enough to see her through the corner of his eye, "No. I'm frying eggs."

She smirked and crossed her arms, moving into his line of sight, "I didn't peg you for a _tanning_ type of guy. You know, tan lines."

"The landlord gets mad at me when I tan in the nude." Remy closed his eyes again and gestured for Rogue to move, "You're in my sun."

She rolled her eyes and stepped out of Remy's sun, moving to the other side of the balcony, "Listen, I wanted to thank you."

One eye popped open as he waited for her to elaborate.

"You know... for the whole, helping Kitty with her rent money and the Star Wars thing. I don't know _how_ you got her paycheck back, Kitty won't tell me. I'm assuming it's something illegal, if you're willingly involved."

Remy smiled and closed his eyes, propping his hands behind his head, "Not a problem."

"It really means a lot to her. She probably would never say crap like this to your face, but... the way you guys... include her. It makes her happy. She's a happy little rebel." Rogue turned to lean against the rail, looking down the eight floors to the pavement below. "I know she doesn't _mean_ to be rebellious. It's not like she's some bratty kid whose acting out to get attention. She's just kind of lost. Actually, I gotta say, I'm kind of jealous of this rebellious streak in her. I'm supposed to be the rebellious one, and here I am, stuck teaching pre-teens how to avoid getting blown up in the Danger Room, you know?" She chuckled, looking back at Remy who was discreetly eying her posterior. His eyes shot up to meet hers and he nodded,

"I'm sure you could be rebellious too." He said quickly, likely to prove that he actually had been listening.

She leaned back, resting her elbows on the railing and shook her head, "I feel housebroken. I'm itching to do something totally stupid. Like get a tattoo or something. Not a tramp stamp though, that's gross."

"Is that safe?" Remy asked as he adjusted his lounge chair to sit up. "I mean... with skin and... I'm sorry, I didn't- You could always go sky diving or something. That's pretty rebellious too. And, it's a lot of fun..."

"It's safe." She cut him off as he attempted to backpedal. "Chill."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Remy frowned.

"I don't know." She shrugged, "Maybe for the first time since Kitty moved in, you haven't been acting like a huge weirdo around me?"

"_Weirdo_?" He raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"Stretching in your underwear with that... stupid smile on your face like some pimply face teenager. Hovering around me and crap? And you keep giving me this creepy look... it's just all weird, man."

Remy gave her an incredulous look with his mouth hanging open slightly, "That's not _weird_ Rogue, that's flirting."

She snorted with a laugh, "That's not flirting."

"Trust me. I'm an expert. That is flirting." He let out a laugh and shook his head. "This makes so much sense! You're not gay you're just naive!"

"I'm not naive." She furrowed her brow and looked down thoughtfully for a moment before looking back up at him with a frown, "You thought I was gay?"

"You weren't responding to my moves, chere. It was the first logical explanation."

Rogue huffed and shook her head, "Why would you flirt with me?!"

"Uh, because you're gorgeous? It's kind of an automatic reaction for me, I can't exactly help it."

"So... if you could help it, you wouldn't have flirted." She raised an eyebrow, "That's what you're saying."

Remy blinked at her for a moment before shaking his head, "How did you not see that I was flirting with you?!" He asked, opting to steer the conversation away from himself.

"I don't know, I'm not used to guys who know what I can do trying to put the moves on me." She snipped before knitting her brow and nodding, "Although you do have a death wish so it does kind of make sense..."

"I don't have a death wish." Remy chuckled. She smiled knowingly at him, causing him to frown, "I_ don't_!"

"Alright." She held up her hands in surrender, "Fine. You don't have a death wish."

"I thrive on danger. There's a difference." He snipped. "_You're_ the one who wants to do something stupid, for the sake of doing something stupid."

"You _thrive on danger_." She smirked, sauntering over to his lounge chair and sitting down on the edge next to him. "Does it make you feel alive?"

His frown grew as he blinked back at her, "Just because you've seen inside my head doesn't mean you know me, Rogue."

"No, of course not." she cocked her head to the side, "You're mysterious, aren't you? I don't even know for sure that you hit on girls with boyfriends because you get a kick out of making people jealous." She trailed her gloved finger up his bare chest with a slow grin, "And I have no idea that you probably fantasize about doing it up against that railing. Think about how dangerous that would be... Public nudity _and_ imminent danger? Hot."

Remy took her gloved hand to stop her, "Okay, so you know me a little bit."

She narrowed her eyes, "I don't think you flirt with me because I'm 'gorgeous'. I think you flirt because of the danger. One wrong move, and I could kill you. That turns you on, doesn't it?"

He smiled and shook his head, "You're still saying I have a death wish. I don't. I flirt with you because you're hot, and that's about it."

She lidded her eyes and placed her hand on his chest for support, leaning down towards him so her face was inches away from his, "Is that so?" She tipped her head to the side slightly as a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, "I'm calling your bluff, Cajun. I can feel your heart racing. You're completely freaked out that I could close this gap and drain you in a second."

"Or..." He began slowly, "I'm laying outside in my underwear and a sexy girl shows up and starts climbing on top of me. I think that's probably the more reasonable explanation. This is how pornos start Rogue."

She sat upright and looked down at him with a skeptical frown.

"It's true. I've seen a lot of porn." he nodded reassuringly. His eyes lit up as realization set in, "You don't get that you're sexy, do you?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Oh please, you think Madonna is sexy. Not 80's Madonna either, fake British accent, gargoyle armed, cougar Madonna."

"She could probably crack a walnut with her ass." Remy said defensively, "That is sexy."

Rogue grimaced and shook her head, "I think we've established that your judgment isn't exactly sound."

"Why can't you just admit that I want to bang you because you're hot, and that's it?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and pursed her lips, "And it has nothing to do with the danger aspect?"

"No! What do I look like, X rated Evil Knievel?!" Remy shrugged, "You need to-"

Rogue swiftly leaned back down, cutting Remy off mid sentence with her mouth against his in a soft, lingering, no tongued kiss.

When she pulled back and sat up with a smug grin on her face, Remy simply blinked at her, "The thrill is gone right?" She said with a knowing nod, "You're probably not even interested anymore."

Remy considered this for a moment before he shook his head, "Nope. I'm still interested. If anything it makes me _more_ interested." The corner of his mouth tugged upwards and he cocked an eyebrow. "And I'm even willing to bet _you're_ a little interested too..."

Rogue pressed her lips together in a thin line and blinked back at him before her attention was drawn back inside, "Oh good, Kitty's home."

She stood up and went back inside, giving Kitty a smile as she pulled off her suit jacket.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how your interview went." Rogue frowned, sensing that her friends moodiness was all the answer she needed.

Kitty rolled her eyes and flopped down on the arm chair, "Awful. The guy was basically just looking for some "hot piece of ass" he could pat on the butt and call sweetheart like he's Don Draper from _Mad Men_ or something." she squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead. "He actually said _hopa_. A_ hopa_ secretary. Only douchebags say crap like that."

"Well... Did you get the job?" Rogue asked with a hopeful smile. When Kitty opened her eyes to glare, she shrugged defensively, "What? You could pull it off. I have faith in you."

"No, I did not get the job because apparently I'm just not hot enough." Kitty frowned and fingered the fabric of her grey pants, "Dammit I knew the suit was the wrong way to go. I need to be sexier!"

"No arguments here." Pyro the peanut gallery added.

"I need to get some better interview clothes."

"You look fine Kitty. You're setting your sights too low. And if you're looking for more clothes, you should drop by your boyfriends house some time and get the rest of your stuff. Like your _computer_..."

"Ex boyfriend." Kitty corrected casually.

Rogue knit her brow, "Ex? As of when?"

"As of yesterday, when he dropped in and discovered that I _wasn't_ living with three women."

"Yikes..." Rogue cringed, looking back at Remy as he stepped through the patio door, buttoning the fly on his jeans in the process, "I wish someone would have_ told me_."

"It's no big deal." Kitty shrugged, pulling her hair down from its professional looking up-do and shaking it out with her hand, "He was right, you know? I've been pushing him away. Maybe subconsciously I was just waiting for him to end it."

Rogue eyed her friend skeptically before letting out a breath, "Okay," She coincided, "Well that's good then?"

"I guess. It'll just make getting my things back from him a little more awkward." She let out a breath and pushed herself out of the chair, shooting out a tired breath. "I have to go scrounge up some sexier interview outfits."

She muttered to herself about not even being good enough for a _sit and look pretty_ job as she trudged to her room, and once she had phased through her door, Rogue turned back to Remy with a frown.

"You didn't think that was an important thing to tell me?"

Remy shrugged and tossed his hand in the direction of Kitty's room, "She's fine. She cried for like five minutes and went back to being normal. Honestly, she probably dodged a bullet there."

Rogue pursed her lips and nodded, "Yeah, she's fine for now, but there's really no guarantee with that girl..."

"Aw man, she's not gunna cry is she?" Remy grimaced and pulled his t-shirt back on, "I hate when women cry."

"Me too." Pyro nodded in agreement, "It's like, grow some balls already. Yeesh."

Rogue grabbed a pen off the coffee table, momentarily blocking Pyro's view of the TV who clearly let her know how he felt about this, and crossed the room to Remy, pulling his arm towards her with a frown.

"If she has a meltdown call me." She said as she scrawled her cell phone number on Remy's palm. "I've had plenty of experience working with an inconsolable Kitty, it's practically second nature to me now. I could do it in my sleep."

Remy smirked, as he watched her write the number down and gave her a wink when she looked back up at him. "You sure that's all that number's for?"

"Yes." She said firmly.

"You know, there are lots of things that are second nature me..." He grinned down at her, "Just sayin'."

"Yeah, I'm sure there are." She dropped his hand and turned to leave, giving him a pointed look over her shoulder, "Don't forget; meltdown. Call Rogue."

"You're not going to give _me_ any sugar?" Pyro called out with a smirk and his eyes still glued to the screen, "I'd like ta see if the _thrill is gone_ too."

Rogue paused and looked back at him with a frown.

"What?" Pyro turned to her with a smile, "Windows are see-through y'know, Sheila. And I'm not deaf."

She shook her head and turned back to the door grumbling, "I have got to stop coming over here." on her way out.


	13. The Teddy Bears

_A/N- Many thanks for all the reviews, I can't even begin to tell you how much they brighten my day! Please, keep them coming! _

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Piotr walked through the door with his portfolio neatly tucked under his arm and Kitty looked up from her seat on the couch next to Pyro with a grin, "You're home early today."

"Anya finished up early." He explained as he dropped his keys in the bowl by the door, "So we are going out for dinner."

"Wow! You guys are really getting serious, you've been on what six dates in like two weeks? That's pretty impressive."

"I enjoy spending time with her." He shrugged with a tiny grin causing Kitty to smile widely back at him,

"I _bet_ you do..." She hopped to her feet and followed Piotr to his room, assuming he would need her assistance.

"So where are you guys going?" She asked, opening his closet doors with extra flourish as she began to peruse, "Somewhere with a dress code? Somewhere casual?"

"Botticelli's Bistro." Piotr set his portfolio down on his bed, "I do not think they have a dress code."

"No," Her brow pinched together and she shook her head slowly, "No, they don't." She cast her eyes down to the grey carpeting and let out a breath, "Lance took me there once. When we'd first started dating."

Piotr noticed Kitty's change in demeanor and struggled to find something to say in order to distract her from being upset. "It is... nice there."

He wasn't particularly good at doing this.

"Yeah, it's really nice." She nodded solemnly, going back to sifting through his clothes. She settled on a sleek black button up and a pair of dress pants for him, handing them to him as she avoided eye contact.

"Katya, are you okay?"

"Mmhmm," She squeaked, quickly swiping at a tear as it escaped her eye, "Have fun!"

Before Piotr could say anything else, she spun around and hurried off to her room, leaving him standing dumbfounded in the middle of his room with his shirt and slacks draped over his arm.

He tossed his clothes on his bed and walked out into the hall, stopping at Kitty's closed door and hesitating. Completely unsure of how to proceed in such a foreign situation. He walked back to the living room and rubbed the back of his neck, pacing back and forth.

"What?" Pyro asked, keeping his slack-jawed attention on the violent video game on the screen before him.

"I think she is upset." Piotr stopped pacing and frowned at Pyro.

"Huh?" Pyro glanced over at Piotr, realization setting in when the sounds of _Adele _started playing from behind Kitty's closed door. His back straightened up and he paused his game, his eyebrows perking up into his hairline, "Upset?"

The front door opened, and Remy stepped in with a tired sigh, "I hate day shifts. I don't even care that they free up my night, I'm never switching shifts with Cindy again."

He tossed his keys in the bowl next to the door and rolled his eyes, "I know, this is when you say _"You always say that, Remy."_ And you'd be right. I do. But this time I mean it. I don't care how low cut her shirt is, or how pouty her lips are. It's just not worth it. Even for the sex."

He stopped and cocked his head when he heard the depressing strains of _Someone Like You_ floating from down the hallway and frowned between Pyro and Piotr, "What did you do?!"

"It was him!" Pyro dropped his Xbox controller and pointed an accusatory finger at Piotr. "She was totally fine 'till he got home!"

Remy's shoulders sagged as he glared at Piotr, digging his cell phone out of his back pocket.

"I did not mean to-" Piotr rubbed a hand over his face, "When I told her where I was taking Anya for dinner it brought back memories... I don't know..."

By the time Remy had dialed the number and was holding the phone to his ear, they could clearly hear muffled sobs accompanied by Toni Braxton's _Unbreak My Heart.  
_He opened his mouth to further shame Piotr for being the accidental cause of the crying when a gruff voice on the other end of the phone line cut him off.

"_Hello?_"

"Uh..." He blinked, having expected to hear Rogue. And this was clearly not Rogue. He pulled the phone away from his ear and double checked the display to ensure he'd dialed correctly before holding it back up and clearing his throat, "Is Rogue there?"

"_Who wants to know?_" The man on the other end of the phone line grunted.

"Uhm..." Remy knit his brow and ran a hand through his hair, fairly sure of whom he was speaking to, and not quite sure how to proceed without provoking an unfavorable reaction.

"_Wait, is this the damn Cajun?_" He ground out, "_Rogue comes home wreaking like your god awful cheap cologne one more time and I-_"

"Woah." Remy cut him off with an indignant chuckle, "It is _not_ cheap."

"_Well then you best get your money back._"

Remy knit his brow, formulating a biting response in his head when he heard Rogue's muffled voice on the other end, berating whom he assumed was Wolverine for answering her phone.

"_Yeah?_" She said finally, sounding slightly out of breath.

"I thought you set me up for a minute there, chere." He chuckled nervously.

"_Remy?_ _Hang on._"

He could hear Logan in the background barking something at the mention of his name and heard Rogue tell him off before finding a more private place to talk and returning to the phone.

"_What's wrong? Is she okay? This isn't a booty call or somethin' is it?_"

"Do you want it to be, fleur?" He smirked.

"_I'm hanging up now-_"

"No!" He said quickly, coming back to his senses as some pathetic Kelly Clarkson song filled his ears, "She's crying!"

"_How bad?_"

"I don't know..." He looked up at Piotr who shrugged, "She's locked in her room listening to horrible music."

"_You just described a regular weeknight for Kitty._" Rogue replied dryly.

"Does Wolvie know she's living here...?" Remy asked cautiously.

Rogue let out a snort, "_Who knows. Probably. If he does, he certainly doesn't care. But don't tell Kitty that, she thinks she's living off the grid._" She let out a breath and he assumed she was rolling her eyes at her friend. "_Alright, is she weeping? Is she trying to sing along with the songs? Breaking things? Doing anything over-dramatic at all?"_

He listened for a minute, deciding that she wasn't exactly _weeping _and that she definitely wasn't trying to sing along. Thank God for small miracles.

"No."

"_Okay,_" Rogue said thoughtfully with a breath, "_I'll be over in a few hours._"

"A few hours!?" Remy protested loudly, "I thought you were going to drop everything and hurry the hell over here!"

"_I thought you said this _wasn't_ a booty call._" Rogue let out a breath when Remy's response to her attempt at a joke was silence. "_Relax. She'll be okay, I promise. I have to finish my training or Logan will skewer me._"

He heaved a sigh and shook his head, "Alright."

"_I'll be over as soon as I can. See ya."_

"Wait!" He said quickly before she could hang up, "Just for future reference; _Can_ I use this number for a booty call?"

She hung up the phone and Remy rolled his eyes, "Tease."

"A few hours!?" Pyro threw his hands up in the air, bringing Remy back to the real issue at hand. "What are we gunna do?!"

"I don't know." Remy set his phone down on the kitchen island and shook his head, "I guess one of us should try to talk to her."

They all fell silent, listening to Kitty's depressing music for a moment as they stared at one another.

"I nominate Pete." Pyro said eventually as he raised his hand, "It's his fault she's in there!"

Remy turned his attention to Piotr and gave him a nod, "He has a point. I mean, learn to dress your self for chrissake."

"She volunteered! I did not ask her to help!" He said defensively. "You should do it, Remy. I would not know what to say..."

"There's no way in hell I'm takin' this bullet for you, _mon ami_." Remy shook his head adamantly. "I doubt you could say anything to make things worse."

Piotr frowned skeptically before letting out a resigned sigh and trudging over to Kitty's closed door. He gave it a few knocks and leaned forward, "Katya?" He said loud enough to be heard over Jewel singing about a breakup.

When there was no response he put his hand on the doorknob and gave it a test turn, finding her door to be unlocked. He looked back at the guys who silently urged him on and let out a breath, twisting the knob and poking his head inside.

"Katya?"

She sniffled on her bed with her back to the door, "I'm okay, Pete. Honestly."

Piotr stepped into her room, closing the door behind him quietly and moved over to the stereo next to her bed to turn it down. He sat down on the edge of her bed next to her and frowned, "I did not mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me." She sniffed, "I'm not upset."

"I..." Piotr began, hesitating and letting out a breath, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Kitty craned her neck to look back at Piotr with a bleary eyed frown, "Are you trying to help? That's not helping."

"I do not know what to say," He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "You should not have to even go through this. He is an idiot for letting you go."

She rolled her head back away and let out an unamused laugh, "Sure."

"He is." Piotr persisted, "You are beautiful, fun, smart... you moved in here and forced us to like you. Not many people could do such a thing." He smiled down at her, "If he cannot see that, then he does not deserve you."

She looked back at him and gave him a watery smile, "I just... don't want to be alone. I know that wasn't the best reason for staying with him but..." She trailed off when her throat grew tight, rolling onto her back as she clutched her stuffed Hello Kitty doll to her chest. She shook her head and swallowed hard, "I'm not really upset about the breakup. He was right. I... pushed him away. That's what I do, I push people away until there's no one left."

Piotr knit his brow as he listened.

"My parents died last year." She looked at him through the corner of her eye, "Don't apologize. I never know what to say when people tell me they're sorry for it."

He nodded solemnly.

"I don't talk about it." She continued, "I don't really know what to say about it, you know?"

"What happened?"

She sucked in a breath and wiped the tears forming in her eyes, "Car accident. Icy roads... nobody's fault..." She trailed off and shook her head, "And now it's just me."

"Is this the reason you left the X-men?"

"More or less." She hugged her stuffed animal tighter and frowned, "I pushed them away too. I mean, what's the point of being a hero you can't even help the people you love?"

There was a comfortable silence as Piotr processed everything Kitty had told him. Eventually he turned his body to face her a little more and gave his head a gentle shake, "You are not alone, Katya."

"You're not going to start singing Michael Jackson for me, are you?"

He gave her a small smile, "You have Rogue, and I know she cares very much about you."

She knit her brow and bit her lower lip in an attempt to stop herself from crying again.

"And I know it is not much, but you have us."

She let out a laugh and a few tears escaped, "That's not exactly the same. I mean, I like you guys, but you basically tolerate me."

"Well, maybe that is why you do not push us away." He smiled easily. "You are a good friend. I know at least I think very highly of you, and I am sure Remy and Pyro feel the same. Think of us as like... your brothers, or something."

She laughed again and sat up, leaning back against her headboard, "That's a little extreme."

"We did commit a felony for you." Piotr said with a nod, "I think it is safe to say we would do anything for you."

Kitty laughed again and wiped a hand across her cheek.

"You will never be alone, Katya. You are far too lovable to be alone." He said, giving her a chuck on the chin.

"When you say _anything_..." Kitty began carefully, "Do you think I could get Pyro to start wearing pants in the morning?"

"Well, you are not a miracle worker..." He gave her a grin before patting her knee, "Trust me, yes? We do like having you around. Even Remy, although he would never admit it. He likes that you vacuum. And that you don't drink his milk, that is a very big deal for him."

There was a gentle knock on the door before the door opened up a crack and Remy poked his head in, "Hey..." He said cautiously, trying to read Kitty's expression, "Just checkin' in."

Kitty sniffed and ran a finger below her eyes to wipe away any running mascara, "I'm okay."

"Good." He leaned against the doorjamb with an unsure smile, "I put the water on to make you some tea, and then I remembered that we don't have tea. But I could... warm something else up for you. Milk... Beer..."

She let out a little chuckle and shook her head, "No thanks."

Pyro stopped next to Remy, peering in at Kitty over his shoulder.

"Hey, look at that! She stopped cryin'!"

"Yes, I'm feeling better." Kitty reassured the two in the doorway before looking back at Pete with a nod, "I can do better, right?"

"_So_ much better." Remy agreed.

"There's plenty of fish in the sea." She continued with a casual hand toss.

"You're gunna catch _so_ many fish..." Pyro added with a nod.

"You need to set higher standards, petite." Remy said seriously, "I mean, you're hot. You've got a nice set." He lifted his hands to his own chest to demonstrate for her, "Small, but enough to fill a hand."

Kitty knit her brow, "That's disgusting, but thank you."

"Tiny waist, perky ass... all together nice package." Remy went on.

"_Very_ nice." Pyro added.

"You've got a gymnast body. Which makes guys think of flexibility. And trust me petite, we like flexibility. Ain't that right, Pete?" Remy shot Pete a knowing smile, "You love those little dancer type bodies."

Piotr let out a sigh and shook his head at Kitty who had begun to laugh at Remy and Pyro's attempt at comfort.

"That's good to know." She gave them a smile.

The tea kettle whistled from the kitchen and Remy looked back over his shoulder, "Your hot water's ready."

"Thanks, but I think I'd just like to take a nap. And Pete, you've got your date."

"I can be a little late." He frowned, "You are sure you're alright?"

She gave him a reassuring smile and nodded, "Yeah. Thanks for the talk."

"My door is always open." He said seriously.

Pyro chuckled, "Unless_ Anya's_ over. Then ya know, y'might wanna knock first, hey?"

Remy rolled his eyes and muttered to himself, heading off to remove the kettle from the stove top with Pyro on his heels.

Piotr gave Kitty a wry smile, "See? They do not just tolerate you. Remy would not boil water for just anyone."

Kitty laughed as she phased herself through her comforter and bed sheets, "I wonder if he would have given me his milk, if I'd asked for warm milk."

"Do not push your luck." He stood up watching Kitty snuggle down on her pillow with a bit of hesitation. "You are sure you're alright? If you don't want to be alone-"

"I'm fine Pete." She answered somberly before he could fully get out the question. "I promise."

He gave her nod, and left her room, gently shutting the door behind him.

By the time Rogue arrived, Piotr had left for his date, and Pyro and Remy were lounging in the living room, drinking a couple of beers.

Rogue knit her brow and dropped her keys in the key bowl, "Where's Kitty?"

"She's sleeping." Remy said with a proud grin, "I calmed her down."

"You?" Rogue crossed her arms and raised a skeptical eyebrow, "What did you do, slip her some roofies?"

Remy shot her an unamused smile, "I am naturally charming, Rogue. I know how to talk to women."

"Pete did it." Pyro explained and Rogue gave an understanding nod,

"That makes more sense."

Remy frowned, "What is that supposed to mean? I _could_ have calmed her down."

"Pete just seems more..." Rogue flipped her hand in the air as she searched for the word, "Sensitive."

Pyro nodded in agreement and Remy's frown grew, "I can be sensitive."

"Oh please, you probably told her she has nice boobs." Rogue chuckled as she sat down on the couch with Pyro.

"He did! He totally did!" Pyro confirmed excitedly, "She's got you pegged, mate."

"I made her tea." Remy shot back at Pyro, "That's more than you did."

"We don't have tea. You made her hot water." Pyro snapped.

"Aww, you guys..." Rogue grinned, "You're like three men and a little lady. Running around like chickens with your heads cut off... tryin' to be all sweet." She pouted her lips and leaned over to playfully scratch Remy's tummy, "You're just like big ol' teddy bears."

Remy ignored her teasing and gave her a smirk, "Little lower, chere."

She pulled her hand back and rolled her eyes, "Big ol' disgusting teddy bears."


	14. The Date

_A/N- I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter out, for some reason I was super duper stuck. But your wonderful glowing reviews were enough encouragement for me to get on the ball! __Do I need to be liked_? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I _have to be liked_. But it's not like this, compulsive, _need, to be liked_.  
Yes. I just quoted Michael Scott.  
Please review.

* * *

She had her back pressed up against the black wall, desperately trying to quiet her breathing, even though her heart was beating so loudly in her ears she was sure any approaching enemy would hear it. The sound of screams over the blaring gun battle behind her sent another course of adrenalin rushing through her veins and she adjusted her grip on her weapon, silently concluding that her experience far out weighed that of the enemy.

She couldn't just hide here while her team was being slaughtered.

The sound of approaching footsteps served as a good opportunity to jump back in the game and she twisted around the corner of the black wall into the dimly lit hallway behind her with her gun raised. It only took her a split second to recognize her mistake, as she looked into the defeated eyes of a team member, and felt the barrel of a gun being pressed firmly into her back.

"So we meet again." He murmured into her ear from behind, keeping his gun fixed in place. "I didn't want it to end like this, Sheila. Not like this."

"It doesn't have to." Kitty said carefully, lifting her hands in surrender as she spoke, "We're a team now Pyro, remember?"

"No love, it doesn't work that way." He stayed behind her but moved slightly into her line of vision, letting her see the regret in his eyes, "The rules changed the second we walked in this place-"

"We don't have to be like them." She glanced at him through the corner of her eye, "We can walk outta here together."

"It's a novel idea, Sheila, it really is. But the stakes are too high. The reward is too great." He shook his head bitterly, "I'm too close to give up now."

She pinched her brow and looked ahead with a single nod. "I understand."

"I'm sorry-"

"Just do it." She cut him off quickly, "Before I change my mind."

He gave her a solemn nod, let out a breath, and pulled the trigger.

There was light. Harsh, blinding light. She squinted her eyes in response to the sudden change in ambiance, as her ears rung from the sound of cease fire.

She looked down at the display on her gun before looking back over her shoulder at Pyro. He cursed as he inspected his own gun, looking up at her with a frown,

"So _close_!"

He showed her the red glowing numbers on the display of his gun and she shook her head, "Tough break."

"500 points away from free games for a year!" He lamented, "It was those damn kids on your team, they cheat y'know."

"I guess you should have been on the blue team with me then, hmm?" She grinned as they walked back to the staging area, removing their lit up vests in the process.

"Yeah, yeah..." He grumbled, "Lesson learned."

"I do have to say that you were right." Kitty admitted as she hung her vest and laser gun back up on the rack, "Shooting at people definitely made me feel better. I haven't thought about Lance in... 15 minutes."

"See? And you thought I was full of shit."

"Yeah, well that's only because you also thought trying on panties at _Victoria Secret_ would also make me feel better."

"Not just panties." Pyro rolled his eyes, "Corsets and teddies..." he scoffed and shook his head, "Panties..."

"Yes." She nodded, "And the lunch buffet at the strip club didn't make me feel better either."

"Come on, you've got to admit, you've never had Buffalo wings like that before. They make the best in the world! And it's only $5!" She rolled her eyes at him as he tugged their itinerary out of his back pocket, "And making fun of the graduate students working at Barnes and Nobel..."

"Okay, that was pretty satisfying." She agreed, looking over his shoulder at the list of activities, "What's next?"

"Ahh... next up is cake." He gave her a thumbs up, "Pyro and Shadowcat's day of fun!"

"Ugh, please don't call me that." She shook her head, following Pyro out into the lobby of the laser tag place.

"Tryin' to distance yourself from the past?" He nodded knowingly.

"No, I just hate the name. That's what you get when you pick a code name when you're 14. It's like picking out an e-mail address when you're 12. You're stuck with the stupid thing forever." They both looked up at the score board and Pyro cursed again,

"So close I could taste it!" He shook his fist at the score board. "It was those damn pre-teen boys!"

"Next time." Kitty patted his shoulder comfortingly, "Next time, you'll totally nail those boys."

Pyro gave a resigned nod and motioned for Kitty to follow him, "Come on, let's go get some free cake."

"How exactly are we supposed to get free cake again?"

"Well, we pretend we're engaged, obviously." He gave her a big grin, "You gotta remember to call me John. And maybe stuff your sweater up under your shirt... gets us some extra sympathy. You know, shot gun wedding."

"What?!" Kitty stopped dead in her tracks and shook her head, "No way! I'm not doing that."

"Cake Kitty..." Pyro said slowly, "Carrot, chocolate, marble, red velvet..."

She considered this for a moment before reluctantly pulling her cardigan off, balling it up, and stuffing it up under her shirt. "I'd better get extra if I'm eating for two."

After pilfering their way through an hours worth of free samples, they made their way to what Pyro called the _Pièce de résistance,_ where he explained that Piotr would meet up with them. Which, to Kitty's slight disappointment, turned out to be _Chilli's_. Their waitress led them to table next to the bar area, leaving them with menus and returning momentarily with some glasses of water. The minute she was gone for good, Kitty unbuttoned her cardigan to inspect the red velvet stain on her shirt that was beginning to set.

"I promise you," Pyro said for the umpteenth time, "A little bit of cold water and that'll come right out."

"It _better_." Kitty frowned down at the red blotch on her canary yellow shirt, "You had to get all fancy trying to feed me..."

"I would have made it to your mouth if you hadn't have jerked back like that!"

"I didn't _want_ you to make it to my mouth." She scratched at the stain with her fingernail and Pyro shook his head quickly,

"Don't do that! You're rubbin' it in!" He pulled her hand away, dipping a napkin into his glass of water before attempting to dab at the stain on her chest.

It was then that Piotr strolled up to the table pausing when he took in the sight of Pyro trying to blot at Kitty's left breast while she tried to shove him back.

"Am I interrupting something? You really should not do that in public..."

She looked up at Piotr and rolled her eyes, "He got cake on my shirt."

"Cake?" Piotr lifted an eyebrow and cut his eyes to the little pink _Victoria's Secret_ bag hanging off the back of Kitty's chair before looking back up at Pyro with a grin, "You took her on a date."

"What?! No he didn't." Kitty scoffed.

"I just wanted to cheer her up." Pyro shrugged defensively, "That doesn't make it a date."

Piotr turned his amused eyes back to Kitty as he took the vacant seat across from her, "Laser tag? Barnes and Nobel?"

Kitty scrunched up her nose and gave Pyro a sidelong glance, "Oh my God, you actually take girls out like that? A $5 strip club buffet?!"

"Well it's better than Will Ferrel in 3D." He snapped.

"Geeze, it's totally not a wonder you're still single."

Piotr looked back at the little pink bag, "You would be the first one to actually _buy_ anything from _Victoria's Secret_ though..."

Kitty spine stiffened defensively and she frowned, "You don't waste a trip to_ Victoria's Secret_ just because Pyro took you there." She lifted her chin indignantly, "I needed a new bra."

"Yes, but now he knows what to imagine you in." Piotr smiled sympathetically.

"Ughh." Kitty grimaced at Pyro who returned her look of disgust with an innocent grin. "I hadn't thought about that..."

The waitress returned to the table to take their order and Pyro held up a hand before Kitty could speak, "We'll have two beers, whatever's on tap, and the little Sheila over here will have an apple martini."

"I don't want an apple martini." Kitty frowned.

"Sure you do. The _Sex and the City_ chicks love that crap." Pyro reasoned, giving the waitress an eye roll, which was received with a smile.

"I'm kind of disturbed that you know that, but not entirely surprised." Kitty shook her head, deciding that none of her arguments would be deemed valid by Pyro's standards.

"I'll be right back with your drinks." The waitress announced before hurrying off while Pyro watched appreciatively before turning back to Piotr with a grin,

"So, speaking of dates and being able to picture Sheila's in their grundies, how's Anya?"

Piotr sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "She is fine."

"When are we going to meet her?" Kitty raised her eyebrows hopefully.

"Nah," Pyro waved her question off before Piotr could answer, "He doesn't bring his dates home anymore. He's ashamed of us."

"Even me?" Kitty pouted sweetly and Piotr let out a breath,

"No Katya, not you. Pyro and Remy have a history of scaring my dates away. I do not like bringing them home until they are mentally prepared for what to expect."

"Scare them away how?" Kitty asked cautiously, glancing at Pyro through the corner of her eye.

"The first time I brought a girl home, she made the mistake of mentioning her residential status in this country." Piotr began.

"She was an _alien_!" Pyro cut in incredulously, "How were we supposed t'leave that alone?"

Piotr looked back at Kitty and shook his head, "She was in the process of becoming a permanent resident-"

"She said the phrase _'I am an alien.'"_

"You did not need to start quoting lines from ET to her." Piotr replied firmly, "It was not even funny. She did not get your jokes."

"So then what's the harm?" Pyro shrugged. "Besides, I wasn't as bad as Remy. He asked her if sex is the same on her home planet or if it's freaky like _Avatar."_

Piotr turned back to Kitty with a frown, "She did not return my calls."

"Yeah, I can't say I blame her."

"And the last time I brought a woman home, it was our first date-"

Pyro grinned, "Ahhh the stewardess-"

"Flight attendant." Piotr corrected, "The date had not even begun yet, and they were already asking her about the mile high club."

"C'mon... you gotta admit, you were curious..."

"So," Kitty began thoughtfully, "you're playing it safe with Anya. Making sure things are going well before introducing her to your hellish home life." she nodded and Piotr grinned in return,

"Exactly."

"Don't think I didn't notice you were mysteriously absent from the apartment last night there, mate." Pyro narrowed his eyes with a mischievous grin, "Just because he don't bring her to his barn for a roll in the hay, doesn't mean Petey ain't gettin' any."

"That is not appropriate." Piotr frowned disapprovingly, "You should not speak like that when in mixed company."

Kitty burst out laughing and shook her head, "Mixed company?!" She snorted, "Come on Pete. I can be one of the guys, you don't need to go all _Ozzie and Harrie_t on me."

He shifted awkwardly in his seat and shrugged, "It is not that I am uncomfortable with you-"

"He's just uncomfortable with me pointing out that his General was given the ol' salute." Pyro finished for him with a wink, "Probably about the topic of his General in general."

Kitty gave Piotr a shrug and rolled her eyes, "I can talk about boy stuff too. Totally. Like... is it really true that you can sit on your own balls?" She shook her head and looked at Pyro, "I heard a joke about it once and it always confused me..."

Pyro blinked at her blankly for a moment before averting his attention to the group of servers that had begun clapping rhythmically with a smile, "Oh look, it's someone's birthday!"

"Oooh! A birthday!" Kitty's eyes lit up as she watched them draw closer, "I love when they do this! It's so embarrassing for the poor sap who has to sit there and endure the singing and- Why are they looking at me...?" She cut her eyes to Pyro as the group of grinning waiters and waitresses approached. "Why are they coming over here? They're not stopping. Why are they not stopping? It's not my birthday." She looked back at Pete with wide eyes, "Is this the big finale?! This is not a good finale! This does not make me feel better!"

The throng of servers made a circle around their table as they clapped merrily along with the _Chilli's_ version of _Happy Birthday,_ drowning Pyro's response out. She felt her cheeks growing warm, forcing a polite smile while the employees did their thing. She tried her best to avoid eye contact with any of them. She _tried_ to avoid eye contact. But one set of eyes caught her attention, causing her to instantly light up.

A set of red eyes which she had become quite familiar with. Her polite smile turned instantly into a genuine grin of joy and she clapped cheerfully when the group had finished their serenade. She given a brownie sundae along with her apple martini and the employees dispersed. All except for the disgruntled one, who pulled the chair next to her out and sat down hard.

She gave him a twinkling smile and stifled a tiny giggle, "This is the best birthday _ever_."

"Stupid damn birthdays." Remy grumbled, helping himself to a bite of her sundae. "You guys have to stop doing this shit." He gave Piotr a glare who shrugged innocently,

"Pyro thought it would cheer her up."

"Oh it_ did_. I _so did_." She nodded enthusiastically as she dug into her brownie. "And what exactly do you mean _stop_ doing this? Do they do this often?"

"They do this all the time. They even have a code for the waitresses." Remy rolled his eyes as he chewed on some brownie, "Whenever they order an apple martini, the waitresses know it's go time. I expect it from Pyro, but not you Pete. I expect more from you."

"What can I say, you have a beautiful voice." Piotr smiled.

"Well, I have to say, it definitely was the _pièce de résistance_." Kitty nodded at Pyro, smacking Remy's hand away from her free dessert, "Totally cheered me up."

"Yeah," Remy hooked a finger into the little pink bag in an attempt to peek inside, "So how was your date?"

She smacked his hand away from her parcel and frowned at him, "It was not a date."

"Sure." Remy grinned impishly, "I just have to warn you, dating a roommate can get pretty complicated."

"Shut up." Kitty rolled her eyes stuffing another forkful of brownie into her mouth, "I would never date a roommate, much less _Pyro_."

"I don't know Sheila, you are the only gal to ever actually buy lingerie in my presence..." Pyro gave her a smug grin and draped his arm along the back of her chair.

"Temporary lapse in judgment."

"And if you decide to move into the same room together, none of this 'split the rent' shit. I don't share my bathroom with three people just for the hell of it you know. You still pay for your room." Remy said firmly.

"But then we could have a spare room." Piotr pointed out, taking a swig of his beer, "We could turn it into an art studio. My room is getting very cluttered, I could use the extra space."

"You too?" Kitty pinched her brow at Piotr pathetically and he grinned in return.

"Art studio." Pyro scoffed, "If it's gunna be anything, it's gotta be something we all can enjoy. Like an arcade room. With vintage arcade games. I'm talkin' Pac Man, Donkey Kong, Contra-"

"No, that's just stupid." Remy shook his head, "If she moves into your room, where is she going to put her bed? There wouldn't be any space for vintage arcade games."

"Okay," Kitty forced out a chuckle, "Joke's over now..."

"We'd obviously have to convert it into a sex room." Remy smirked.

"Why would you need a separate room for sex? You have your own room for that." Kitty frowned.

"Have you ever tried sleeping on satin sheets? It ain't comfortable. Plus, the swing would get in the way, and there's never a convenient place to store the handcuffs-"

"Alright." Kitty held up her hands, "That's enough. I'm officially grossed out."

Pyro laughed with a little snort, "Like those _Fifty Shades_ books, right? Ladies love that kinky stuff."

Remy knit his brow, "Screw that_ Fifty Shades_ shit. This is real life. No warped ass fairy tale here, just wham, bam, thank you ma'am." He eyed Pyro for a moment before squinting at him dubiously, "You've read those stupid books?"

"_No_." Pyro snapped defensively.

"He's a big fan of _Twilight_ too." Piotr added, earning him a sour glare from Pyro.

"You'll want a room to yourselves," Remy continued, turning to Kitty with a wink and gesturing to her_ Victoria's Secret_ purchase, "Then you can prance around in your frilly lingerie for him in the privacy of your own space."

Kitty grunted, "It's not frilly lingerie. It's a bra. And it's not for prancing, it's for interviews."

"You bought a new bra for interviews." Remy asked flatly, "Are you planning on showing your _interviewers, _ because I gotta say petite, I didn't think you were that type."

"It's called self confidence, ass hat." Kitty snipped, "Now all I need is more interviews... but I need my computer to job hunt. Which, unfortunately, is still at Lance's house. Along with my other _interview bra_. I asked Rogue to go with me but she's all busy and stuff... I don't think I can face him alone yet."

"I can arrange to come home early if you would like me to go with you." Piotr offered. Before Kitty could respond, Remy waved him off.

"You don't have to do that Pete. I'll go with her."

Kitty furrowed her brow at him, "Really?"

"Sure," Remy shrugged, "I'll make sure he doesn't give you a hard time. You go in, get your junk, and get out. We can go first thing tomorrow."

"You would do that for me?" Kitty asked skeptically.

"Intimidate Lance? It'd be my pleasure. Literally."

"Okay..." Kitty nodded slowly, "Thanks."

"But just so we're clear, first thing tomorrow means somewhere around noon. I plan on getting in late tonight... Cindy owes me for switching shifts last night." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively and Kitty cringed.

"Too much information, dude."

"You know, it's too bad you two aren't doing the nasty." Remy mused as he stood up, looking between Pyro and Kitty, "Cindy really would have liked the sex room."


	15. The Lapse in Judgment

_A/N- This chapter is a little bit later than I would have liked, but I was pretty busy hacking into Rogue's blog with Kitty. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I strongly suggest you take a little venture over to Lizzieturbo's profile and check out _Brilliant Mind of Rogue_.__ I'm not even going to mention the prequel because that's a little bit too much self promotion for my liking (*cough*BeautifulMindofKatherinePryd e*cough*)_

_Please show me some love for this chapter. I literally wrote it in two days. On the birthday gift my husband gave me. Happy birthday to me :)  
_

* * *

True to Remy's word, he was up and ready to go by 10:50 the next morning. Otherwise known as 'first thing'. He drove them up to Kitty's old place of residence, a quaint little rental home in a mediocre area of the city, and parked in the driveway.

"You're coming in with me right?" Kitty asked nervously, looking at Remy through the corner of her eye, "I'd just feel a lot more confident if-"

"Yes, I'm coming in with you." Remy cut her off as he killed the engine, "Make sure you let me know if you want me to knock him around a little bit. We should have a code word. _And_. _And_ is our code word. Every time you say_ and_, I'll take that to mean that you want me to beat the shit out of him, sound good?"

Kitty gave him a smile and unbuckled herself from the seat, "Thanks, but I doubt that will be necessary. I just want to go in, get my things, and get out. Minimal interaction."

"Alright, let's go then."

He led the way up the path to the front door, where he stopped and waited for Kitty to muster up the courage to knock. After a few deep, calming breaths, she gave the door three hearty knocks and waited patiently for the door to open.

Lance looked down at her, and then over her head to Remy before returning his expectant stare to her.

"I just came for the rest of my things." She explained.

He narrowed his eyes skeptically, "You had to bring your new boyfriend with you for that?"

"Remy is just here to help me carry things, Lance. Don't be difficult."

Lance let out an unamused laugh, "_Remy_." He chuckled, "First name basis and everything now."

"We live together." Remy said flatly, "Besides, it rolls of the tongue a lot easier in the heat of the moment."

Kitty gave him a pointed look before turning back to Lance calmly, "I don't want to make a big deal out of this."

Lance worked the muscles in his jaw silently as he considered his options.

"Who's there, yo? Is that the pizza I ordered?" A voice from somewhere behind Lance called out. "I was hopin' they'd be slackin' off. 30 minutes or it's free bitches."

With a reluctant breath, Lance pushed the door open, allowing Kitty and Remy to enter.

"Oh..." Toad grinned from his seat on the trash and clothing littered couch, "It's the little woman. Thanks for movin' out, boo. I moved in when you ran off... I gots me a mad sweet crib now, yo. The honey's be all up in this place."

Kitty scrunched up her nose as she scanned the filthy living room, "Yeah... I'm sure the honeys can't get enough of this place..."

Remy grimaced when he stepped inside and did a quick visual sweep of the immediate area, "You sure you want your stuff back from here? We might need to call a HazMat team in to get it out safely."

"You got a problem with my home?" Lance stiffened his spine and clenched his jaw, "You wanna make something of it?"

"Chill out, homes." Toad said, hop-walking over to the three in the open doorway with a grin, "You just bitter cause he's tappin' that sweet Kitty ass."

"Ew! Toad!" Kitty frowned, "Nobody is tapping anybody's ass, okay? Can we just get this over with, please?"

"_He_ stays here." Lance glared at Remy.

"Not a problem." Toad nodded, smacking Remy on the back as he led him towards the filthy couch, "We can hang out."

Lance brought Kitty to what used to be their shared room while Toad cleared a spot on the couch for Remy to sit, which he did very reluctantly.

When his weight settled onto the couch, it made an unsettling crunch sound causing him to instinctively grimace,

"It's alright, dawg." Toad reassured him as he flopped down in the pre-formed butt groove, kicking his feet up on the cluttered coffee table on top of a stack of Playboy's. "That's just the couch settling, yo."

Remy grumbled an unintelligible response while Toad began to channel surf.

"So how's life with the little honey? You still live with Pyro and Colossus, right? How does that work, do you share her or something? Or do you all have a foursome?" Toad asked as he scanned through the channels, "Is it okay to have a foursome with three dudes and a chick? Or is that gay? I've always wondered what the rules of orgies are."

Remy closed his eyes and let out a soothing breath, "We don't have sex together. None of us."

"F'reals?" Toad squinted at him skeptically, "I mean, I could see keepin' Pyro out of it, but-"

"None of us." Remy repeated as Toad settled on an episode of Jerry Springer featuring sex trade workers and the clients who apparently love them.

"That's to bad, G." Toad shook his head as he tossed the remote to the coffee table and grabbed a bag of potato chips that had basically been ground to a fine dust. "I bet you get to see her wearin' her sweet little nighty around. Shit. I'd be drillin' a hole in the wall if I got to live with a sweet honey like that..."

Remy looked at Toad through the corner of his eye, "Drilling a hole in the wall? Is that a figure of speech?"

"Hells no. I'd literally drill a peep hole in the wall so I could watch her get changed, yo." He explained as he crammed a handful of chip crumbs into his mouth.

"That's disgusting."

"To each his own." Toad shrugged before suddenly perking up with interest, "Now that I got my own sweet crib, I plan on bringing all the honeys home. I stocked up on condoms, got 'em in bulk."

"Costco."

"Yeah!" Toad nodded enthusiastically, "One question though, when the box says extra large... is that just the size of the box? Or is it the size of the penis?"

Remy closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Toad-"

"Or is it the size of the cooch? Because this little homie don't plan on goin' anywhere extra large if you know what I mean." Toad continued, pointing to his groin.

Remy checked the time and rubbed a hand over his face, "Can't you ask Lance these things?"

Toad scoffed, "Lance ain't a playa. Not like you. You _know_ shit. Do you use gel in your hair, or is it that pomade stuff?"

"It's gel." Remy answered, hoping to just humor Toad until Kitty was finished.

"Hmm, gel doesn't work on me." He said thoughtfully, "It stings. I tried putting it on before I shaved, but it makes my razor all gunky. And after it just burns my balls to hell."

Remy stared at Toad for a minute before frowning, "Balls?"

"Yeah, my berries, bro. I assume manscaping involves some type of styling product. I'm new to the whole grooming thing, but it makes sense."

Remy stood up and gave his head a shake, "I'm gunna go see if Kitty's finished yet." He announced, picking his way through the filthy living room. He slowed down as he tackled the hallway, watching where he stepped to make sure he didn't land on a pair of dirty underwear and peeking inside the rooms as he passed to locate Kitty.

"Hey, Kitty." He called out as he walked, "We gotta get going... I need to Google if it's possible to get tetanus from a couch."

He pushed the last door at the end of the hall open and his eyebrows shot up. The room was relatively clean, in comparison to the rest of the house. The bed spread was gender neutral, but clearly picked out by a woman, and the windows had curtains on them. Real curtains, not blankets nailed to the wall above the window.

But as shocking as the sight of a tidy room oasis in this filthy desert was, it was nothing compared to the sight of Kitty and Lance going at it up against the oak dresser on the opposite wall.

"Remy!" She squeaked, wide eyed and swollen lipped, phasing herself away from Lance which caused him to fall against the dresser. "I'm almost done here-"

"Oh yeah, it looks like you were pretty close to finishing." He crossed his arms and leaned against the door jamb.

"It's totally not what it looks like-"

"Really? Were you just looking for your laptop in the back of his throat?"

Kitty let out a breath and crossed her arms haughtily, "No..."

"Guess she just needs a_ real_ man to satisfy her, Papi." Lance said with a smirk as he attempted to recover from being discarded against the dresser.

"Why do you keep talking like a Mexican gangster?!" Kitty blurted out, "You're from Illinois, Esse. Give it a rest." She turned back to Remy and gave her head a shake, "Momentary lapse in judgment."

Lance let out a laugh, "Three minutes ago you were begging me to nibble on your ear-"

"Lapse in judgment!" Kitty repeated firmly.

"This is your problem Kitty, you have no idea what you want! One second you're all hot and ready to go and then suddenly you're back to being a frigid bitch! It's like you have perpetual PMS!"

Kitty knit her brow, "Oh yeah, way to be super mature about this Lance."

"Listen, I may not be the perfect boyfriend. I'm probably not a stud in the sack like Frenchy McCajun over there, but that doesn't mean I deserve to be jerked around, Kitty."

"I'm not jerking you around. You dumped me. Remember?"

"After you_ moved out of our house_ to live with three men."

Remy laughed and Kitty turned her angry look to him.

"What?" He shrugged defensively, "The dumbass kind of has a point..."

"He does not have a point." She spat, "If anyone is being jerked around it's me. Not him. I am not jerking him in any way."

"You are indecisive." Remy pointed out, "It takes you forever to decide what to eat, not to mention how much trouble you have deciding where to work."

Lance snorted, "Oh, I know all about that. Like it's some big life choice. Waitress or receptionist? Just decide already, so they don't shut off our hot water."

"Yes! Thank you!" Remy tossed a hand at Lance, "Pete says I'm being insensitive, but come on already, right?"

"Uh, you_ are_ being insensitive, and it_ is_ a big life choice." Kitty frowned.

"You're just so dramatic about it." Remy continued, "You're going to give yourself a brain aneurism over an 'interview bra'."

"That's nothing man, you should see her trying to get dressed for _college_." Lance shook his head, "It's like _Project Runway_ or some shit."

"Alright," Kitty rolled her eyes, "I think we're all done here-"

"I have known many, many women," Remy said, ignoring Kitty's subtle cue to shut up, "But I've never known one to be so weird about her clothing."

"Let's be fair here," Kitty held up a hand, "When you say you've _known women,_ you mean in the biblical sense. Not in the literal sense, okay? I'm totally not the only one who is weird about her clothing."

"She's got to do everything her own way, she's a stubborn control freak." Lance continue. "Have you seen her 'work out' yet?"

Remy shook his head and Lance rolled his eyes dramatically, "Instead of getting a gym membership like a normal person, or even going to a yoga class or some shit, she dances around the house like kid on acid. She says it's good cardio, which is just bullshit."

"I do not dance around the house." Kitty said defensively, "It's one of those dance video games... and it totally works."

"Yeah, she says it works the core." Lance continued to laugh, "I've seen her core. It's not working."

"Oh yeah, because P90X really worked out well for you, string bean." She spat. "And if I'm so horrible to live with then why were you begging me to ditch the _Acolyte tools_ to move back in with you, not five minutes ago?!"

"Momentary lapse in judgment." He frowned.

Kitty cast her eyes down to the boxes of her belongings sitting on the floor next to the bed and silently stared.

"I'm just going to start taking these boxes to the car." Remy announced, hoisting up one of the three mid sized boxes and swiftly leaving the room in awkward silence.

Lance let out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck, "You weren't _horrible_ to live with." He shrugged and fixed his eyes on the carpet between them. "Not when you were _happy_."

She looked back up at him and worked the muscles in his jaw, "Well I'm happy with my home now."

"For how long Kitty?" He shot back, giving her a frown, "You'll get restless there too, I guarantee it. You've turned into this... commitment-phobe or something. You couldn't commit to the X-dorks, you couldn't commit to me, you couldn't commit to school-"

"It has nothing to do with commitment, Lance. Maybe I just reevaluated things, and realized that they weren't as important to me as I thought." They were both silent for a moment before Kitty pursed her lips and cleared her throat, "You know, maybe I just didn't _want_ to finish school..."

"You weren't talking about school."

They stared at one another in tense silence until Remy stepped back into the room for the last box. "All set?" He asked, clearly picking up on the increase in discomfort in the room, "Is there anything else you need me to do?"

"No. Let's just go." Kitty shook her head, carrying her box past Remy as he picked the remaining box up off the floor.

"_And_...?" He eyed Lance dubiously.

"No, Remy. No _and_."

He followed her out to the car, dropping the box into the trunk after her and slamming it shut. They drove in silence for a good ten minutes before Remy finally sighed,

"What the hell did you have in that first box? It felt like a box of weights or some shit."

"Books." She said quietly, keeping her eyes fixed on the scenery rushing by out the window.

"School books...?" He glanced at her through the corner of her eye and she made no move to respond. "Like for _college_?"

"Remy, I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Good," He shrugged, looking back at the road, "Because I don't really care anyways."

Kitty pressed her lips into a tiny smile and glanced at him quickly, "Thanks again for helping."

"I have to ask, petite." Remy shook his head, "What possessed you to start makin' out with the slum lord? I thought you were past that... You ain't gunna start crying and listening to _Avril Lavigne_ again, are you?"

She let out a long breath and crossed her arms, "He told me... he still loves me."

Remy gave her a single nod, "So your first reaction is to make out with him?"

"I didn't know what else to do!" She threw her hands in the air defensively, "I got caught up in the moment, okay? I guess that's just yet another one of my_ many_ flaws. Excuse me for not being _perfect_."

"I didn't mean that-"

"You totally made it clear when you were getting all buddy buddy with Lance." She scowled at him before doing her best impression of his accent. "_Oooh Kitty! You're so indecisive! You're weird about clothes! Blah blah blah!_"

"Okay, first of all, I do not sound like that." Remy began, "And secondly, I know it's hard for you to believe, but I'm not perfect either you know."

"You just blew my mind." Kitty rolled her eyes.

"It's true. Like, one of my earlobes is slightly larger than the other one."

"Oh the horror." She snorted.

"And I'm no treat to live with either. I put the toilet paper back on the holder upside down, just because I know it pisses you off."

"These aren't exactly shocking revelations Remy." Kitty sighed.

"I hide a package of _Twizzlers_ under my pillow."

Kitty turned to look at him, staring silently for a moment before knitting her brow, "Come again?"

"_Twizzlers_. You know, licorice."

"Yeah, I know what _Twizzlers_ are Remy." Kitty shook her head quickly, "_Why_ do you have them under your pillow? You're the one who eats organic everything and rags on us for eating anything even remotely unhealthy."

He pursed his lips and glanced at her through the corner of his eye with a shrug, "Sometimes I get sick of eating carrots. I like _Twizzlers_."

Kitty laughed, "_Twizzlers_!"

Remy set his jaw and shot out a breath, "It's not a big deal."

"_Twizzlers_!"

"Just don't tell anybody, okay? I have an image to up keep."

"You're like a little girl!" She continued to laugh, "Little Remy with her bag of _Twizzlers_!"

"Alright..." He rolled his eyes with an irritated sigh, "Get it out of your system."

"Do you keep them with your diary?"

"Okay, that's enough."


	16. The Magic Bra

_A/N- I took last week off because of all my American readers enjoying their sweet sweet turkey. Happy belated Thanksgiving. ;)_

_And I am thankful for everyone who reviewed! I love getting feedback from you folks, it warms the cockles of my heart. (That's no dirty guys, get your minds out of the gutter.)_

* * *

"Guess who got a job, bitches?!" Kitty announced as she walked through the door, kicking it shut behind her.

"About time." Remy muttered from his place in the kitchen, and Pyro glanced up quickly from his video game.

"Huh?"

Piotr grinned up at her from his easel by the patio window. "That is wonderful Katya!"

"They offered you the job right on the spot?" Remy asked, looking up at her while he sauteed some vegetables in his wok.

"Yep!" She grinned proudly, dropping her purse on the ground by the door, "And you doubted the power of the interview bra. I'm telling you, it's magic."

"Doesn't look magic from here..." Remy smirked, adding some zucchini to the wok.

"Maybe you need to take a closer look, mate." Pyro snorted.

"Well, it is." Kitty said, shooting Pyro a glare which he was too distracted to notice, "Because as of nine a.m. Monday morning, I will be the newest member of the _Glen Cove Times_."

"What's that?" Pyro called from the couch, "Like a watch store or something?"

"It's a news paper, Pyro. Honestly, how do you function?" Kitty rolled her eyes, "And I am assistant to the fashion column editor. Seriously! Fashion! How freaking perfect is that, right?!"

"Congratulations Katya, I am sure you will do great." Piotr smiled, wiping his hands clean on a rag.

"Just don't get your hopes up, petite." Remy glanced up at her quickly while he stirred, "It ain't like you're actually in the fashion business."

"It'll be like _Devil Wears Prada_!" Kitty clapped her hands joyfully, ignoring Remy's warning, "Except I'll be Anne Hathaway _after_ her awesome makeover, and my boss will love me instantly!"

"I love that movie." Pyro shook his head, "Glenn Close is hot."

Piotr knit his brow, swiveling on his stool to face Pyro, "I thought Glenn Close was a man."

"No, stupid." Pyro rolled his eyes as he continued to play his video game, "Glenn Close was in_ Panic Room_."

The front door swung open and Rogue stepped in quickly, slightly short of breath, "I hurried over as soon as I got your text. What's going on?"

"So eager to see Remy, hmm?" Remy gave her a wink from the kitchen, "It's okay, fleur. You don't need to make up excuses."

Rogue rolled her eyes and dropped her keys into the bowl by the door, turning her attention back to her friend, "Seriously Kitty, is everything okay?"

"I just wanted to ask your opinion on something." Kitty grinned, taking a seat at the island and folding her hands neatly in front of her.

Rogue blinked at her expectantly, "Alright?"

"What do you think the assistant to the editor of the fashion section of the _Glen Cove Times _would wear on her first day of work?"

Rogue knit her brow and sat down on the bar stool next to Kitty, "... A pencil skirt."

Kitty rolled her eyes dramatically, "It's a rhetorical question, doofus..." she broke out into a grin again, "I got the job!"

"I was close with the pencil skirt though, right?" Rogue smirked.

"Obviously."

"That's great Kit. You'll be perfect for the job." Rogue smiled, turning her attention to the food cooking in the kitchen with great interest.

"Oh yeah, you're definitely perfect for doing menial tasks." Remy nodded with mock sincerity.

Kitty shot him a nasty look before turning back to Rogue, "I realize that in the beginning I'll be doing lots of grunt work, but I can totally work my way up the ladder. Like, if one of the writers suddenly comes down with the flu, and my boss is all _"What will we do?! Who knows about fashion?!"_ and I'd be like, _"I do!"_ and he'd be all, _"One thousand words on seasonal colour analysis on my desk by the end of the day!" _I'm totally perfect for this job..."

"That... could happen..." Piotr agreed reluctantly as he made his way to the kitchen to rinse off his paint brushes.

Rogue raised an eyebrow at Piotr and shook her head, "Why do you encourage her?" She looked back at Kitty and frowned, "That's bullshit, Kitty. That would never happen."

Kitty shrugged, "Yeah, probably not. But it would make an awesome movie." Her eyes grew wide as an invisible light bulb went off in her head, "Oh my gosh, I should write a_ movie_."

Remy rolled his eyes and muttered something in French and Rogue let out a laugh, apparently retaining enough of the language to understand the French word for _moron_.

"It would star Kate Hudson!" Kitty went on, "And she'd be swept off her feet by... some Hollywood heart throb. I haven't decided yet. Channing Tatum or something."

"Bleh, don't use him. He's a total two face." Rogue said as she watched Remy stirring his dinner diligently in the wok on the stove. "Sometimes you look at him and think he's alright. The majority of the time though, he's just weird looking. A complete butterface."

Kitty pursed her lips thoughtfully, "Alright, well Ryan Reynolds or something."

"Ooh! Adam Levine."

"He's not an actor." Kitty shook her head.

"Yeah. _Yet_." Rogue rolled her eyes, "This would be his on screen debut. Everyone loves Adam Levine."

Remy sighed, pulling the large wok from the heat and shutting the stove off, "I'm starting to remember why I didn't want a woman living here..."

"Ryan Gosling." Pyro added while clicking away on his Xbox controller, "He's dreamy."

"Glenn Close?" Piotr shrugged, causing Kitty to snort out a laugh.

"You gunna eat all that?" Rogue perked up a little at the sight of Remy's dinner simmering on the stove top.

Remy blinked at her and then looked at her and then looked at the huge wok full of vegetable stir fry. "You... want some?"

Rogue furrowed her brow, "No, I'm just very concerned with your waistline."

"Well, it's not entirely hard to believe. You're probably pretty concerned with what's_ below_ my waistline..." He grinned smugly.

"_Yes,_ I want some." Rogue's frown grew, choosing to ignore Remy's innuendo, "I'm starving, all I've had to eat today is a handful of Trix and some beef jerky."

Remy grimaced, pulling a pair of plates out of the cupboard and placing them on the counter next to the stove, "That's disgusting."

"What? They're not just for kids anymore..." Rogue frowned defensively,

"Here we go..." Piotr muttered to Kitty who in turn, rolled her eyes.

"Your body is a temple, Rogue." Remy said, giving the portion of Rogue's body he could see from over the counter a good, slow look-over, "A gorgeous, curvy, perky temple..."

Rogue crossed her arms over her chest and scrunched up her nose, "What is your point? Temples like beef jerky too."

"Do you have any idea how much salt is in beef jerky? One of these days you're going to blow up like a balloon." He shook his head with disappointment, "Such a waste."

"Uhh, need I remind you that I work my ass off in the Danger Room every single day of the week?" She narrowed her eyes, "So if I feel like eating waffles four times a day, you better be damn sure that's exactly what I'm going to do. With whipped cream. And chocolate sauce."

"And you'd better hope that sugar goes to your tits and not your ass."

"Hey, just a thought," Kitty began, propping her chin up on her fist with a wide grin, "How much sugar is there in a bag of _Twizzlers_?"

Piotr choked on a laugh, which gained him a glare from Remy.

Clearly Kitty wasn't the only one who knew of Remy's secret vice.

"I don't know. Shut up." Remy snapped, tossing a plate full of vegetable stir fry in front of Rogue.

"Don't eat too much." Kitty smiled, pulling her interview blazer off and setting it on the island, "I ordered pizza, it should be here soon. We totally need to celebrate my accomplishment."

"Your accomplishment? According to you, your bra did half the work." Remy pointed out.

"That is not nice." Piotr frowned at Remy once he had finished rinsing his paint tools in the sink, "I am sure she sold herself very well in her interview."

"Nah, he's got a point." Kitty shrugged, stealing a slice of zucchini from Rogue's plate and popping it into her mouth, "I'm telling you guys, this thing is magic."

Rogue nodded as she forked the food on her plate, "I'm up for pizza. And a movie or something?" She stuffed the forkful of food into her mouth and unintentionally let out a groan, "Oh God, this is amazing."

Remy smirked and opened his mouth to make a disgusting remark when he was cut off by Kitty holding up her hand,

"Let one go now and then, perv."

"I know what we should do." Pyro called over his shoulder, "I'll give you a clue; It starts with a_ Star_, and ends with a _Wars_."

"Rogue is here." Kitty rolled her eyes, "She doesn't even like _Star Wars_."

Rogue shrugged, stuffing some more stir fry into her mouth, "I don't mind watching you three get your geek on. As long as I'm allowed to drink, I'm game. _Beam me up Scotty_, and all that."

"That is_ Star Trek_. And Remy's got his stupid no chicks rule. _Apartment residence only_ bull crap." Kitty continued.

"We already broke that rule for_ you_." Remy gave her a shrug, "What kind of gentleman would I be if I kicked such a _belle fleur _out with the prospect of getting her drunk on the horizon?"

Rogue raised an eyebrow and shook her head, "Dial it down, Don Juan."

"The second one sucks anyways." He added.

"Blasphemy." Pyro groused as he saved his game.

"Well, it does. They focus way too much on the love story, and how the moron basically risks everything for a woman." Remy snorted with disgust, "That love shit is over rated."

"Amen." Rogue gave Remy a fist bump across the island.

"Love is not over rated, you are just not doing it right." Piotr commented, walking back to his easel to finish cleaning up his station.

"Oh, I'm_ doing it_ right..." Remy chuckled.

"Listen, I've absorbed a lot of people in my day, and I've seen what people_ really_ think of love.." Rogue explained as she chomped on her dinner, "It's bullshit."

"It's not like you go around absorbing well adjusted people. You absorb criminals and slutty young adults." Kitty gave Remy a nod, "You're a two for one."

"Of course _Pete's_ going to be wearing rose coloured glasses, he's the one getting laid." Rogue snorted, "Sorry, this must be an inappropriate topic of conversation for _mixed company_..."

Piotr's eyes cut to Kitty who shot him a guilty smile, "It's a common... term..." The knock on the door saved her from any further awkward explanation, "Pizza's here!"

It was about a quarter of the way through the movie before Rogue frowned and let out a breath, "Okay, where the hell is Han Solo?"

"She is cute." Piotr smirked at Kitty, who rolled her eyes in response as she chomped on a mouthful of pizza.

Remy gulped down the last of his beer and placed the empty bottle on the coffee table, next to his feet. "He ain't in this one chere."

Rogue knit her brow a little more and took a swig of beer, "That's disappointing."

Pyro snorted, "This takes place before the other ones, Sheila. Han's just some little kid on a different planet, probably off playing with his Wookie, at this point." He explained, chuckling at his dirty joke as he reached for another slice of pizza. He held the box up for Remy with a grin, "Hungry?"

Remy turned his nose up at the sight of the greasy looking pizza and gave Pyro a frown, "I can't even look at it. Besides, I already ate."

Rogue swiped the last piece of pizza out of the box with a yummy sound, taking a nice big bite. When she noticed Remy staring at her with a hint of disgust she shot him a scowl, "What?"

"How much shit like this do you eat in a day?!" He shook his head, "You just ate!"

She swallowed and gave him a shrug, "I have a high metabolism, okay?"

"That just means you can eat a lot. Not a lot of _garbage_." Remy muttered, turning his attention back to the television. "I'm telling you, eating like this is going to come back and bite you in the ass."

"Uh, excuse me _Jarred from Subway_, but I just watched you down three beers in an hour." Rogue snipped, taking an irritated bite of her pizza.

"So?" Remy scoffed.

"_So_, beer has yeast in it. You're practically drinking bread." She informed him with her mouth full.

"Drinks don't count, Rogue." Remy chuckled, "I'm not counting calories here... I'm not in _Weight Watchers_."

"I'm just saying, if you're going to go around lecturing people on what they eat, then maybe you should take a look at yourself first. Hmm?" She raised an eyebrow, swallowing her food.

"I don't _lecture_ people." Remy countered, "I inform them of the facts about what they're eating. I'm performing a public service."

"Well, you'd be servicing this public by shutting the hell up." Kitty muttered under her breath, prompting Pyro to let out a bark of laughter.

Remy gave him a sharp look which made Pyro clamp his mouth shut and clear his throat awkwardly, "Anyone else want another beer?"

He hauled himself out of the tan arm chair and trudged to the kitchen, not waiting for anyone to respond. Piotr stood up clearing the empties off the coffee table, and following Pyro into the kitchen, assuming he would need help carrying multiple bottles.

"Hey!" Pyro called out to Rogue from the kitchen with an excited grin, "Look what I can do!"

He pulled three full bottles of beer out of the fridge and held them up for her to see, and then began to toss them up in the air, juggling them like a clown, "Pretty impressive, eh? I'm extremely talented with my hands..."

Rogue slid her eyes to Kitty and shook her head, "Honestly. How do you do it?"

Kitty took a gulp of beer and shrugged, "You build up a mental filter."

"He's like an old pair of jeans." Remy explained, "The second you throw them out, you find a use for them, and regret getting rid of them."

"Those bottles are full Pyro." Piotr frowned as he deposited the empty bottles onto the island counter, "If you drop one there will be a-"

Piotr's lecture was cut short by the unmistakable sound of a shattering beer bottle. He let out a sigh and looked down at the mess of beer and glass all over the kitchen floor, "-huge mess."

"I was doin' fine!" Pyro frowned, jabbing one of the two remaining beer bottles he held in his hands towards Piotr as he spoke, "You distracted me! I've done this a million times before!"

Piotr grabbed the roll of paper towel off the counter and muttered under his breath as he bent down to help Pyro clean up the mess.

"Just keep your eyes on the screen." Remy whispered to Rogue through the corner of his mouth, "If you don't make eye contact, they won't make you help."

Rogue let out a muffled laugh and did as Remy instructed while Kitty shook her head at the two of them, "You're both incorrigible."

She choked on another laugh and leaned towards Remy while keeping her eyes on the TV screen, "You're a lot less obnoxious after a few drinks."

"After _I've_ had a few, or _you've_ had a few?"

Rogue thought about that for a second before nodding, "Maybe both. Like a double dose."

Remy tipped his head back and laughed, "You're a lot less of a bitch."

"Not the first time I've heard that." Rogue commented before taking another drink of her beer.

Kitty stood up and frowned down at the two, opening her mouth to continue berating the two of them, when Piotr let out what could only be a slew of Russian curse words.

"Pete?" Kitty hurried to the kitchen while Pyro began to have a miniature panic attack.

Rogue and Remy followed Kitty to the kitchen as Pete had started reassuring everyone that he was fine. His right hand had been sliced open, and judging from the amount of blood gushing out of the wound, it was a fairly deep cut.

"I am fine, Katya." He shook his head as he stood up, "It is just a cut."

"Oh God... the blood..." Pyro- who was sitting with his back against the fridge in the fetal position- groaned, as he slowly rocked back and forth.

"Geeze Pete," Remy grimaced at the sight of the blood on the floor mixed with the beer and glass, "Never touched broken glass before? You're supposed to be careful."

Kitty grabbed the dishtowel off the stove handle and wet it under the tap with cool water before pressing it against Piotr's bloody hand. She held his hand up over her head and instructed him to keep it there to slow the bleeding down.

"Pyro, get up." Remy barked, "You need to take Pete to the hospital. He's gunna need to get stitches, and you've only had one beer."

Pyro's eyes grew wide and he began to shake his head fervently.

"Fine then, I'll drive. And you can stay here and clean up the blood." Remy said evenly as he moved towards the door, grabbing his keys out of the bowl.

Without a word, Pyro jumped to his feet and snatched the keys out of Remy's hand.

Kitty took Piotr's hand and applied as much pressure as she could to the wound, leading him to the front door behind Pyro. She looked back at Rogue over her shoulder and gave her an apologetic look,

"Take a cab home, you've been drinking. I'll pay for it, I'm totally good for it now."

"Don't worry about me, just go." Rogue waved them out the door as she got down to help Remy clean up the mess.

"Just because you've absorbed Logan before doesn't mean you've retained his ability to metabolize alcohol, Rogue. Promise me you'll-"

"_I promise_!" Rogue huffed, "Now go!"

The three filed out the door, leaving Rogue and Remy to clean the massive mess up on their own.

Rogue crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Remy, "Tell me again why you don't get rid of him?"

Remy let out a sigh and shook his head, "He had the best credit. The lease is under his name."

"Ahhh..." Rogue nodded understandingly as she got down on her knees to help Remy clear up the shards of glass, "So technically, he keeps_ you_ around."

"Yeah. Right." He smirked at her, taking a handful of paper towel to start mopping up the mess. "I gotta tell you Rogue, most hot chicks are annoying to spend actual time with. Y'know, outside of the sack. But you're actually pretty... enjoyable."

Rogue arched her eyebrows, "I'm not sure if I should be flattered or insulted..."

"Flattered." Remy concluded for her, tossing the wet paper towels into the trash, "Not that I'm _surprised_ you're enjoyable. Guess I'm just more surprised that you haven't really changed at all."

"Well of course I haven't changed," She gave him a half smile, "Why mess with perfection? Don't fix what ain't broke, and all that shit, right?"

"You're a wise woman." Remy said with a sincere nod.

Rogue smiled and turned her attention back to the mess on the floor, "So much for _Star Wars_ night hmm?"

"Oh no, you ain't gettin' out of it that easy, Rogue." Remy smirked, "If you're going to be hangin' out here for our _Star Wars_ nights, you need to at least know the basics. The drinking game isn't any fun when you're only drinking whenever everyone else does."

"Drinking is always fun." Rogue deadpanned.

"When we're done here, we'll put on _A New Hope_ and you can learn the essentials."  
Remy continued.

"Is that the one with Han? He's sexy."

The corner of Remy's mouth tugged up and he raised an eyebrow, "I've been told I'm the Han Solo type, you know. Badass... lone wolf..."

Rogue snorted, "You are not Han Solo, Remy. Maybe that big furry bear thing that follows him around..."

Remy's smirk morphed into a scowl, "He's not a bear, he's a_ Wookie_." He shook his head and sighed, "You have so much to learn."


	17. The Twizzlers

_A/N- What's that?! She's back to reviewing weekly?! I know. I'm shocked too guys, honest. But alas, I finally have my act together enough to begin updating weekly again. For now. Please review because frankly, I thrive on it. I'm like... a thing... which like, thrives on... reviews.  
Yeah, I'm obviously not good at similes. Kitty and I have that in common. :/_

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Kitty was pulled from sleep by the faint sound of rustling outside her door. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock next to her bed, noting that it was shortly after 3 am. They'd gotten home around midnight after waiting in the emergency room for hours, finally getting Piotr's hand stitched and bandaged up. And by the time they'd gotten home, the apartment had been dark and quiet.

Her second _Star Wars_ night had been a bust.

With a sigh Kitty twisted out of bed, slipping her pink cotton robe on and shuffling out into the hall. A sliver of light shone through a crack in the bathroom door and she tip toed over, quietly giving it a knock. The door squeaked open a tiny bit more and Piotr gave her a frown,

"Did I wake you?"

She shook her head, squinting into the bright bathroom light, "Don't worry about it." She looked down at the sink he was standing at with a frown, "What are you doing?"

"I cannot sleep, my hand is throbbing." He sighed, "I am trying to take some medication..."

She looked at the bottle of Advil in his hand and he gave her a sheepish shrug, "I cannot get the lid off."

She gave him a smile and gently took the bottle from him, twisting the cap off quickly and dumping a few pills out into her hand, "You should have asked for help."

"I did not want to wake anyone."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm a super light sleeper." She dropped the pills into his undamaged hand and he threw them back, swallowing them down without the aid of any water.

"I am sorry for tonight. I ruined your celebration." He frowned.

Kitty snorted as she screwed the lid back on the bottle of Advil, "No you didn't. Pyro ruined my celebration."

The corner of his mouth quirked up, but his smile failed to reach his eyes, "There is blood all over your interview shirt."

"I don't need it anymore, now that I have a job." She shrugged, taking his hand to check the wrapping over his stitches, "Besides, it's just a shirt."

"It is not magic like your bra?"

Kitty pressed her lips into a thin smile, "If it were, I would have gotten a job weeks ago."

Piotr gave her another tired attempt at a smile and looked down at his hand, flexing it uncomfortably. He heaved a sigh and shook his head, "I do not think I will be able to paint-"

"Don't think about that right now, Pete." Kitty knit her brow as she pulled the gauze back into place, "You could wake up tomorrow morning and have full range of motion back in your hand."

He rubbed his eyes with his free hand and shook his head again, "I am already behind. The dancers do not cooperate, and they are constantly trying to see what I am doing... the director blames me for distracting them when all I am doing is trying to do is work."

"So then why don't you work from home?" Kitty shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest.

Piotr smirked, "It is not so easy."

"Well, it's probably easier than painting a bunch of flighty ballerinas in person." She poked him in the belly with her elbow and gave him a wink, "Probably not as much fun though."

He smiled, "That is true."

"And I totally get that you don't see the whole... depth... perception. And like, light differences..." She waved her hand as she spoke, "But it's probably in your best interest to paint from photos or memory. At least until your hand is in better condition."

"Again Katya, it is not so easy..." He trailed off.

"Well then use me." She shrugged. "I mean, if you need to paint someone posing like a ballerina..." She stood on her tip toes and arched her arms over her head delicately to make her point.

Piotr chuckled, "That is very kind of you, but I am sure you will be busy with your new job."

"So then get Pyro to do it. He's probably home all day anyways." She shrugged, causing Piotr to laugh at the mental image her suggestion provoked. "Although then you have to picture him in a tutu, and I'm not sure that would be all that great."

"No," He laughed, "It would not. I am sure you would look much better in a tutu."

Kitty snorted. "That's not really a compliment though."

Piotr let out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand, "The opening is not that far off. I still have so much work to do, and now my hand... I just do not think-"

"Pete. I'm usually the person on the receiving end of this comment, but I think you're over reacting." Kitty cut him off before he could finish his thought.

"It is stupid but..." He frowned, "There are going to be very many big names in the art world at the opening of this ballet, and I had hoped..." He trailed off, letting his thought drop off.

"And you hope this is your foot in the door, so to speak." Kitty gave him a small smile, finishing his thought for him, and knit her brow, "It's not stupid at all. In fact, I think it's incredibly plausible."

"I do not know-"

"Pete, you are the most talented artist I have ever met. And I know that's not saying much, because the only other artist I've ever met was my third cousin Marty who made statues out of empty propane tanks, but I think you are_ way_ better than him. Seriously."

"Thank you, I guess." He smirked.

"I mean it." She put a hand on his forearm and her smile softened, "Just relax. Don't over extend yourself, big guy. You're going to be great, I promise."

His smirk grew into a warm smile as he looked down at her silently before giving her a single nod, "Thank you, Katya."

Kitty suddenly knit her brow and tipped her head to the side, looking back towards the bathroom door, "Did you hear that?"

Piotr frowned and strained to hear what Kitty was referring to, "No, I-"

"Shhh!" She hissed, flicking the bathroom light out and slapping a hand over his mouth all in one swift move.

That was when he finally heard what she'd been referring to. The distinct and very recognizable of a woman giggling.

"Does Pyro have a_ lady friend_...?" She whispered in the dark, barely able to see Piotr raise his eyebrow at her stupid question with her hand still clamped over his mouth.

She dropped her hand and pushed the door open slightly with Piotr hovering behind her, both trying to hear the voice down the hall more clearly.

"You don't have to leave yet." Remy murmured to his guest darkly, "We could go for a round four, hmm?"

The woman chuckled as Remy, clad in only his boxers, circled his hand around her waist to tug her closer. "I can't." She whispered, smoothing a hand over the definition of his abs, "I have to go. I don't want Kitty to wake up."

"Holy monkey balls." Kitty breathed, "Rogue?!"

They both turned to look at the two in the dark bathroom doorway, and Rogue let out a sigh, "Oh shit." She grumbled under her breath.

"What are you_ doing_?!" Kitty hissed, stepping out into the hall. "No, don't answer that. What were you_ thinking_?!"

"Kitty-"

"You don't even like him!" She threw her hand towards Remy, "Were you seriously that drunk?!"

"We just wanted to have some fun-"

"So play _UNO_!" Her eyes dropped to Remy's boxer shorts where there was a single_ Twizzler_ hanging out from above the waist band. "Oh _God_, why is there a_ Twizzler_ in your shorts?!" She looked up at Remy with wide eyes, "What do you do with the_ Twizzlers_?!"

Remy smirked and pulled it free, giving Rogue a wink before taking a bite out of the red candy, "Forgot it was there."

"_Uggggh_!" Kitty grunted, slapping her hands over her ears and storming back to her room, phasing herself in through the door. It was far too early to be dealing with these types of issues, and she was quite prepared to forget the mental image of Remy eating the _Twizzler_ that had just been half inside his underwear.

She managed to settle her nerves well enough to fall back to sleep, but unfortunately, the early morning events had done their damage and she'd had a restless nights sleep filled with disturbing candy-sex themed nightmares. When she dragged herself out of bed at nine o'clock, her senses were instantly assaulted by the smell of Remy's breakfast, stinking up the apartment. She grumbled to herself as she wrapped her body up in her pink cotton robe before scuttling off to the bathroom, deciding to postpone her inevitable encounter with Remy a tiny bit longer. She brushed her teeth extra thoroughly, took her time moisturizing, perused the contents of the medicine cabinet until she decided that she'd spent enough time in the bathroom.

The last thing she wanted was for Remy to make some crack about her having bowel problems.

She slowly trudged her way out to the kitchen, shooting Remy an unpleasant look while his eyes were on the egg white omelet he was _creating_.

"Morning." He greeted her with as much of a smile as he could muster first thing in the morning.

She shot him a sidelong glance as she poured herself a bowl of cereal, keeping her mouth clamped shut.

"Sleep well?"

She put the box of cereal down on the counter with slightly more force than necessary and huffed, ripping the refrigerator door open to get her milk out.

"Oh... I get it." Remy nodded understandingly as he worked on his omelet, "That time of the month, hey?"

"Are you nuts?!" Kitty cried, slamming the fridge door shut, "Are you _mentally nuts_?!"

Remy blinked at her before knitting his brow, "Geeze, take a _Midol_ would you?"

"I am not on my period!" She snapped, ripping the milk carton open and dumping some milk over her cereal, "I am pissed the hell off that you decided to get my best friend drunk and sleep with her!"

Remy rolled his eyes, sliding his omelet from the pan to his plate like a pro, "I didn't get her drunk and sleep with her."

"Well, you slept with her, and that's really all that matters now, isn't it?" Kitty returned the milk back to the fridge and glared at him. "Where is she, anyways? Did you at least call her a cab home, or is she waiting back in your room with a bucket of _Skittles_?"

"She left right after your 3 am hissy fit. And I don't eat _Skittles_, that shit is disgusting."

"This coming from the guy who ate a _Twizzler_ from his underwear only a few hours ago. I don't even want to know what that was about."

He shrugged. "She happened to find them under my pillow after round two. And apparently, me having a weird guilty pleasure was a turn on for her. Cue round three."

"Okay so now what? I'm just expected to find a new best friend? Or is this your way of basically kicking me out, huh?"

"What are you talking about?! If I wanted to kick you out, I'd just kick you out-"

"Your whole,_ no one night stands in the apartment_ rule, or whatever." Kitty waved a hand as she searched the utensil drawer for a spoon, "Everything will be all weird between you and Rogue now that you've seduced her, all tense and awkward... So I'm just supposed to stop having my bestie come over? Totally not fair! Now I have to move."

"Kitty," Remy chuckled, "You're over reacting."

"You know, I hear that a lot, but I really don't think I am this time." She snipped, plucking a spoon out of the drawer and shoving it closed.

"No, you are." Remy flicked the stove off and moved over to the utensil drawer for a fork. "That rule applies to women I don't enjoy actually spending time with. The ones who get all clingy and... _relationship-ish_." He explained, bringing his plate and fork over to the island and sitting down with his back to her, "Rogue isn't like that. I like hangin' out with her, she's fun. And we're both aware of the casual nature of our... arrangement."

"What, did you like write up a contract or something?" Kitty scrunched up her nose and furrowed her brow. "Because that's gross."

"No," Remy let out a breath, quickly losing patience for this conversation. He cut into his egg white omelet with his fork and took a bite, "We didn't discuss it; It went without saying. Trust me, I'm pretty good at reading people and I can tell where a _fille_ is, emotionally speaking. Rogue is not _relationship-ish_. You said yourself, she barely even likes me."

Kitty knit her brow as she chomped on her cereal thoughtfully, "That's true..."

"Besides, she_ 'seduced' _me." Remy pulled his plate an inch closer to him as he settled into his eating rhythm, shoveling some more of his breakfast into his mouth as Kitty shot him a skeptical look.

"Oh yeah, I'm _so_ sure."

"It's true." He said through a mouthful of food.

"Okay," Kitty raised an eyebrow, taking another bite of cereal, "_How_ exactly did she seduce you?"

Remy finished chewing, swallowing his mouthful of food before beginning his explanation, "After we were finished cleaning up Pyro's mess, we started watching _A New Hope. _I was explaining to her the basics of Star Wars, since I figured if she's going to be hangin' around all the time, she needs to know that Anakin and Luke are not the same person." He stuffed some more food into his mouth and continued, "We were at the part where Han shoots first. I was explaining to her the importance of Han shooting first... because he's not some pussy who only shoots to defend himself. And she jumped me."

Kitty blinked at him as he chewed, "She jumped you."

He shrugged and swallowed, "Guess she sees the Han in me after all."

Pyro shuffled down the hall into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes, angry at the world for being awake, "You're not Han." He snorted, "I'm Han."

Remy scoffed, "You are _not_ Han."

Kitty shook her head and frowned, "Wait, backup. What do you mean, she_ jumped_ you."

Pyro's eyes lit up a little bit and he flicked his stare to Remy, "Who jumped you?"

Remy smirked, "Rogue." He said casually, taking another bite of his breakfast.

"_No_!" Pyro flopped down on the stool across from Remy, staring at him in disbelief. "Like... seriously?'

"Oh yeah." Remy grinned smugly.

"Have I ever told you you're my hero?" Pyro shook his head with awe, "You're everything I wish I could be."

Kitty rolled her eyes and huffed impatiently, "Could we focus here, for a minute? Please? What do you mean she jumped you?!"

"Well, she pushed me back into the couch and swung her leg over so she was straddling me."

"Nice." Pyro nodded approvingly.

"And then she stuck her tongue in my mouth and started to undo my-"

"_Alright..._" Kitty scowled, "I get the point."

"No! Keep going!" Pyro leaned forward on the island and raised his eyebrows at Remy, "She started to undo your trousers, eh? Then what?"

"Then I slid my hands up under her shirt. Got right up under her-"

"Okay! Come on!" Kitty grimaced, "I don't want to hear this!"

Remy gave her a smile, seemingly satisfied in his effort to effectively gross her out, before going back to his breakfast.

"Ohh... that's good stuff." Pyro nodded enthusiastically, "Did she groan into your ear softly? While you worked your way up the soft milky skin of her back, your fingers dancing their way up to the clasp of her bra as she moaned in anticipation of that single moment where you expose her virgin mounds to the fresh night air..."

Remy and Kitty both sat silently with matching disturbed stares directed at him. He knit his brow and shrugged defensively,

"What?!"

"You need to stop reading them_ Fifty Shades_ books." Remy shook his head, "I'm serious, John."

"Oh come on, there's nothing wrong with having a vivid imagination." He groused.

"There's definitely something wrong with whatever_ that_ was." Kitty frowned at him and shook her head, "Also, her mounds were totally not virgin."

Remy nodded and pointed at Kitty with his forked, "She seemed way too experienced to be a virgin."

Kitty snorted, "Heck yes. I mean, she's not a slut but... she knows a thing or two. She's told me stories." She scrunched up her nose and knit her brow, "Okay, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"How's Pete's hand?" Remy asked, going back to shoveling food in his mouth as he spoke, "He left for work before I got up."

"Alright, I think." Kitty shrugged, "He's pretty down on himself though, I mean, personally I think he's just using this minor injury as an excuse to fail."

Remy nodded, "Yeah, he does that. He get's all dark and brooding." He shrugged, "He'll snap out of it eventually."

Kitty pursed her lips, silently pushing the cereal around her bowl idly as she watched Remy eat. He looked up at her eventually, feeling her eyes on him, and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

She squinted at him and tipped her head to the side inquisitively, "... What **were** you doing with the _Twizzlers_?"

Remy smirked and gave his head a shake, "You don't want to know,_ petite_."


	18. The Sprinkled Donut

_A/N- Holy awesome reviews Batman! Thank you all very much for the love, and please don't hesitate to keep it coming. _

_Also, I bet you'll never look at a pack of Twizzlers the same again. ;)_

* * *

"So, explain to me again why this is necessary?" Rogue asked, sitting down next to Kitty on the couch, eying the months worth of _Glen Cove Times_ she had piled up on the coffee table.

"It's research. Doy." Kitty rolled her eyes as she took the first newspaper off the pile, "I want to know my stuff before I go into the dragons den tomorrow."

"Okay, but just so we're clear, you do realize that the local news paper is not a dragon's den. Right?"

Kitty gave Rogue a sharp look, "Are you going to help or not?"

Rogue sighed and took a newspaper, leaning back in the couch and flipping it open to the fashion column as she kicked her feet up on the table.

They read in silence for a moment before Kitty suddenly stiffened and looked at Rogue through the corner of her eye, "You and Remy didn't..." She glanced down at the couch and grimaced, "You didn't do it on the couch, did you?"

"Ew." Rogue frowned, "Pyro sits here. You think I'd want my naked ass anywhere near somewhere_ Pyro _has been?"

"I guess not." Kitty settled back into the couch and turned her attention back to the paper in her hand, "Then again, I wouldn't think _Twizzlers_ were a turn on so... what do I know?"

Rogue grinned silently to herself as she continued to read.

"See, this kind of information," Kitty held the paper out for Rogue to see, "It's a note from the editor. That's my new boss."

Rogue squinted as she read the editor's note before looking up at Kitty with a frown, "There's no useful information in there at all."

"_Yes_." Kitty jabbed her index finger towards a particular section of the paragraph, "See? He says that his favorite colour is_ Poppy Red. _That is incredibly useful information."

"Sure." Rogue shrugged uninterestedly, furrowing her brow at Kitty's finger, "Next question; why do you have blue paint on your finger?"

Kitty looked down at her hand and rolled her eyes, scrubbing at the dried blue paint on her finger, "Pete came home _covered_ in paint. I had to help him bag up his hand so he could shower and keep his stitches dry. Seriously, he looked like a member of the blue man group."

"_That_ explains why the shower's been on since I got here." Rogue nodded, "I thought maybe Pyro was enjoying some alone time."

"Ew, he does not do_ that_ in the shower." Kitty shook her head with determination, "I clean that shower. With my hands."

"Kitty-"

"No, he doesn't. Shut up." She snapped. Rogue took the hint and clamped her lips shut, looking back at Kitty's blue finger,

"So how exactly did he get paint all over him?"

"I guess one of the dancers got a little lost in the music and lost her space on the stage. She knocked Pete's easel right over, sent a whole crap load of midnight blue everywhere. Totally ruined his painting."

"Yikes."

"Yeah," Kitty nodded, "He was_ super_ pissed when he got home."

They heard the shower shut off and Kitty pursed her lips, "Chances are he's still pissed, so try not to be a bitch, okay?"

"I can't promise anything." Rogue shrugged, looking back at the paper in her hand.

The bathroom door swung open, smacking against the doorstop with a bang and Piotr clomped out into the living room, still dripping wet, clutching a towel around his waist with his good hand.

"I cannot get this bag off, Kitty. You tied it too-" He stopped, when he realized Kitty was not alone in the living room, looking down at himself in his state of undress, "Uh... I am sorry, I did not know Rogue was here."

Rogue blinked at at Piotr's half naked body and raised her eyebrows, "Don't apologize..." Her eyes wandered down his wet chest before she quickly looked back at her newspaper.

"Were you able to get all the paint out of your hair?" Kitty asked as she went to the kitchen for a cloth to help him clean the paint off his bandaged hand, "It couldn't have been too easy with the bag hand."

"It was not." Piotr groused, running his good hand through his wet hair, spraying little droplets of water everywhere, "I am sure I will be washing blue out of my ears for a week."

Kitty returned with a dish rag, phasing the bag off his hand and carefully peeling the blue gauze back to inspect his stitching, "Well, at least _this_ blue is a winter colour. It totally made your eyes sparkle."

He raised an eyebrow at her and she gave him a smile to get the point of her joke across.

"You were right," He sighed as she gently scrubbed the paint away from around his stitches, "I am going to have to work from home."

"It won't be so bad. You won't have any distractions, you'll probably get work done even faster, regardless of your gimpy hand." Kitty said with a nod, "And you have lots of photos to work from. You're probably better off this way anyways."

Piotr grunted, "I appreciate your optimism, but I do not think I can agree."

"Do you think da Vinci had it easy? I bet it was super frustrating for him, working with a subject who totally refused to smile. Talk about a diva." Kitty shook her head as she cleaned his hand and the faintest hint of a smile danced across Piotr's lips, "But he powered through, and he stuck with it. And look where he is now."

"Dead?" Rogue grinned.

"_No_, famous." Kitty said over her shoulder to Rogue, who was peeking at Piotr from over the top of the newspaper, "I mean sure, he went a little crazy and chopped off his ear, but I think it was worth it in the end."

Rogue shook her head, putting the paper down on the coffee table before pulling the next one of the top of the pile and flipping it open, "That's van Gogh, dork."

"Uhh, no. I'm pretty sure da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa." Kitty rolled her eyes at Pete with a condescending little smirk.

The tiny trace of a smile turned into a full grin and Piotr chuckled, "I suppose you are right."

"I'm _totally_ right." Kitty elaborated, "You're beyond awesome, and you have _nothing_ to worry about."

"Cheerleader Kitty to the rescue." Rogue rolled her eyes from behind the news paper and lowered it in time to see Kitty give her a frown.

"I'm not cheerleading. I'm being optimistic."

"It's the same thing." Rogue shrugged, "Trust me, I know. This is what you do."

"Whatever." Kitty shook her head at Piotr as she continued to dab the paint away.

"It is. You did the same thing with Kurt when he wanted to become a magician."

"Kurt is..." Piotr knit his brow, trying to recall his X-men knowledge.

"Blue guy, teleports, smells like Pyro after he eats too many Doritos." Kitty summarized and Piotr grinned,

"Ah, yes."

"You went all _Rah! Rah!_ on Kurt when he wanted to quit, refused to let him give up," Rogue continued with a head shake, "Insisted that he could actually improve if he just stuck with it."

"Is that a bad quality?" Piotr shrugged, "I think it is endearing."

"Sure, but Kurt _sucked_. He couldn't even make himself disappear." Rogue snorted at the memory, "The guy can teleport but somehow the disappearing act alluded him."

Kitty put a hand on her hip and looked back at Rogue, "What's your point? Pete is_ good_, it's an entirely different situation."

"My point is that your obnoxious optimism always comes back to bite you in the ass." She turned to Piotr to explain, "Kurt developed a huge crush on Kitty and ended up entering some stupid illusionist contest to impress her. Needless to say,_ nobody_ was impressed. People were actually throwing tomatoes on him to get him off stage, it was like some old _Bugs Bunny_ cartoon, except way funnier."

"That is_ totally_ an exaggeration." Kitty cut in with a frown, "First of all, he developed a _minor_ crush on me, which was not entirely my fault. I mean, can I help it that I'm just so damn lovable?"

Piotr smirked and Kitty crossed her arms hotly, "And secondly, only one person threw a tomato. Don't make it seem worse than it was."

Rogue looked back at Piotr and pursed her lips, "It was pretty bad." She shook her head and looked back at the newspaper in her hand, "Not as bad as the time you tried to teach Logan how to use Microsoft Word though."

"Yeah..." Kitty knit her brow thoughtfully, "You really can't teach an old dog new tricks. He made me do extra pushups for a month, just because he couldn't figure the stupid thing out."

"See? Bite you in the ass." Rogue concluded with an air of finality.

"I am sure Katya's optimism will go unpunished this time." Piotr looked down at Kitty as she patted his stitches dry carefully, "I promise I will not make you do pushups."

"See?" Kitty grinned smugly at Rogue, "Nothing to worry about. And as difficult as it might be, I'm pretty sure Pete can keep himself from falling in love with me."

Piotr chuckled and gave her a nod, "I will try."

Rogue rolled her eyes and muttered, "That's not what I meant."

She finished drying Piotr's stitches, promising to help him wrap it in clean dressing once he had clothes on. Rogue watched appreciatively as he walked back down the hall, lifting the news paper back up once he was out of sight.

Kitty turned to her and smirked, "Enjoying the view?"

"If the guys in the mansion looked like _that_ when they were walking around fresh out of the shower, I'd spend a lot more time hanging around the bathroom." Rogue shook her head, "I'm starting to see the benefit of living here, I'll tell you that much."

"Yeah, you'd only be a few doors away from a candy-infested booty call." Kitty grumbled, going back to work with her news paper.

They went back to work, silently scanning the contents of the fashion column for anything useful. Rogue had plowed through seven papers and Kitty was on her fifth by the time Remy got home.

He tossed the mail on the island counter, "Your stupid magazine came. Are we going to get one of these every month?"

"Yeah, that's usually what a monthly subscription means." Kitty mumbled, knitting her brow at the paper before looking up at Rogue with a grin, "He likes coffee. That's totally useful."

Rogue looked up at her with a frown, "Seriously? That's the best you could get? I'm pretty sure that's probably the first thing you'll find out on the job tomorrow."

Remy turned his attention to Rogue, leaning on the island with a smug grin, "Hey."

Rogue gave him a grunt of acknowledgment before looking back at Kitty, "Does it say he likes donuts too? That's obviously crucial information."

"He's in the fashion business Rogue, he doesn't like donuts. They eat fancy things like scones."

Rogue gave Kitty a level stare, "Scones are not fancy. Remy, are scones fancy?"

"No." Remy gave his head a shake as he picked up Kitty's magazine and inspected the cover, "You know what's fancy? Croissants. French is fancy, I should know."

Rogue snorted with a little chuckle, "Crumpets. Crumpets are fancy."

"_Very_ fancy." Remy nodded, "The Queen eats crumpets."

"He's not the Queen, he's a fashion editor. He eats_ scones_." Kitty frowned.

"This is the _Glen Cove Times_, Kitty. Ten bucks says he eats sprinkled donuts." Rogue grinned, turning back to Remy, "Am I right?"

"More than likely." Remy agreed as he flipped the magazine open and began to leaf through the pages slowly, "So, what are you doing tonight?"

"Not _this_, I'll tell you that much." Rogue grumbled, going back to her reluctant research.

He smirked to himself as his eyes scanned a perfume ad, "I bought some more_ Twizzlers_..."

Kitty looked up sharply and glowered at Remy, "Could you please refrain from the sex talk while I'm here? Please?"

"I thought maybe we could hang out tonight?" Remy continued, ignoring Kitty's plea.

Rogue gave Remy a sidelong glance, lowering the newspaper slightly, "Like... a date...?"

"No. Not a date. Not like a date." Remy dropped the magazine back on the island and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh, "I knew this would happen. They always get clingy."

"What?" Rogue narrowed her eyes at him, "I am not_ clingy_. You just asked _me_ on a date."

"I didn't ask you on a date, I just wanted to have some fun." Remy frowned.

"Well, you'll have to have some fun with someone else tonight." Rogue looked back at the paper, "Logan is making me help teach combat training."

Remy knit his brow and blinked at her, "And you're okay with that."

"Of course I'm okay with it, it's my job, sort of. I guess."

"No, I mean you'd be okay with me having some fun with someone else." He raised an eyebrow, "You're okay with that?"

Rogue shrugged, "Why wouldn't I be? Knock yourself out. Just don't catch anything."

"Huh." Remy's shoulders slumped slightly and pursed his lips thoughtfully, "I mean, I didn't _want_ you to get clingy, but I kind of thought you'd be a little... dazzled or something."

"You promised things would be the same." Kitty interjected, "She wasn't dazzled by you before, she's not going to be dazzled by you now."

"I know," He shrugged with a tiny pout, "But would it kill her to be a _little_ dazzled?"

Rogue folded up the paper and tossed it onto the table with a sigh, "Don't take it as a knock to your ego Gambit, I just have better things to do than fawn over you."

"I don't want you to fawn over me." He frowned, casting his eyes down to the island as he fingered the counter top idly, "A compliment would be nice..."

Rogue rolled her eyes, "You_ dazzled_ my socks off. Is that better?"

He gave a tiny shrug, "A little."

"Good." Rogue said with a nod, turning to Kitty, "I've about gone cross eyed looking at this stupid column so I'm going to go. I'll come over tomorrow night to hear how your first day went, okay?"

Kitty nodded happily as Rogue stood up and crossed the room to Remy. She invaded his personal space, pressing her body flush against his with a smirk,

"I'll bring some sprinkled donuts with me." She whispered, giving his rear a sharp squeeze to get her point across before giving Kitty a final wave and heading out the door.

"See?" Remy smiled back at Kitty who was grimacing at the scene she'd just witnessed, "Things won't be awkward at all."


	19. The Slutty Wardrobe

_A/N- A day late, yes. But better late than never, right? I won't be updating next week, so Merry Christmas! And thank you all again for your wonderful reviews, I truly enjoy reading them. So please, by all means, keep them coming. :)_

* * *

"Okay, I seriously need some opinions here." Kitty said as she walked down the hall in her over sized t-shirt and purple polka dot PJ shorts. She came to a stop in front of the television set which was hosting the morning news and Remy heaved a deep sigh,

"Ask me when I've finished my coffee."

Kitty ignored him and held out two outfits, one in each hand, turning to Piotr who was seated on the other end of the couch. "Which outfit is the least slutty?"

Piotr's eyebrows perked up and he looked up at Kitty, "Least?"

"Yes. I know." She sighed, dropping her hands to her sides and frowning, "My new boss is super weird about dress codes. I swear he's Amish or something; No low cut shirts, no tight shirts, no tight pants, no short skirts, no sandals, no dangly earrings... you get my point."

"Dangly earrings?" Remy knit his brow, "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Kitty held the two outfits up again and pouted, "I should have gone shopping after my first day when he made the passing comment about my "revealing cleavage"."

Remy snorted, "You don't have cleavage."

"Exactly." Kitty said with a nod, "Now here I am on day three, trying to find the line between librarian and street walker. And to make things worse, he likes his large black coffee and donut on his desk when he gets in, so I have like, fifteen minutes."

"Donut," Remy took a sip of his coffee with a snicker, "No scones, hmm?"

"Shut your hole." She snapped, turning back to Piotr, "This one is longer, but it's flashy. Is it too flashy?" She asked, holding the pink skirt against her bare legs and looking down at it.

"It is bright..."

"But the slate grey skirt is super short. Is it too short?" She looked back at Remy with a frown, "Is this too short?"

Remy sighed, "I don't know, petite. Put some nylons on with it or something."

"_Nylons_?" Kitty scrunched up her nose and looked back at Piotr, "You guys are worse than Rogue."

"You are short." Piotr pointed out.

She put her fists on her hips with a frown, "Well excuse me, not all of us can be _Colossus_."

"No," He smiled, "You are short. A short skirt would not look as offensive on you."

She raised her eyebrows and considered this for a moment, "That's a good point. Plus, then I can maybe ease my way into more brightly coloured clothes, you know? And as long as I'm wearing a higher neckline, I should be okay. Nobody will notice my legs."

Both Piotr and Remy's eyes were drawn to her bare legs and Remy shook his head, "They're gunna notice."

Piotr nodded in agreement silently, taking a drink from his mug.

Kitty's brow pinched with disappointment, "Really?"

"Yep." Remy said with a slight nod, "You got nice gams."

"Damn these gams!" She huffed, flopping down into the arm chair next to Remy.

"It is quite a curse." Piotr said with convincing sincerity, "You should start taking the elevator more."

Kitty's lower lip poked out as she glared at the two outfits she now had draped across her lap, "Well what the hell am I gunna wear? I'm clearly too hot for my own good."

Remy snorted, going back to watching the morning news and Piotr pressed his lips into a smile,

"What about your interview outfit? It is a pantsuit, yes?"

"I wore it yesterday." Kitty sighed, "I don't want to be the girl who wears the same thing _every day_." She pursed her lips and gave him a slight shrug, "Maybe every other day."

"This is ridiculous." Remy grumbled, setting his mug down on the coffee table with slightly excessive force and pushed himself to his feet. "It can't be _that hard_ to pick out clothes."

Kitty looked up at him, watching as he crossed the room and started down the hall, "What, you think you can do better? You dress like Dick Tracy"

"I am with Remy, Katya. You are probably just over-thinking this." Piotr informed her, standing up to follow Remy down the hall.

"I'm telling you, these two skirts are pretty much my only options." Kitty called out as she followed them both to her room, "There's no point in looking for something else. It's like trying to get blood from a stone."

She came to a stop in her doorway, watching as Remy sifted through the clothes hanging in her closet, "Well, you certainly do like bright colours."

"Which is part of my problem." She snapped, tossing her two skirt choices on her bed, "I told you that."

"What about this?" Remy pulled out a pair of black leather pants and held them up for her to see, "These aren't too bad."

"You're joking, right?" Kitty frowned and crossed her arms, "I wear those when I go clubbing. The... three times I've been clubbing..."

"So?" Remy shrugged, looking back at the pants on the hanger in his hand, "I bet if you'd worn them on some of your interviews, you probably would have got a lot more job offers."

Kitty looked at Piotr for help. He rolled his eyes and crossed the room to take a look for himself,

"What about this?" He asked, pulling out a grape coloured turtle neck.

Kitty blinked at him, "It's a turtle neck."

"It is not bright, and it is not low cut." Piotr explained, "Your boss will not have a problem with it at all."

"Uh, I'm not 10 or trying to hide a hickey. I'm not wearing a turtle neck in public."

"Why would you_ hide_ a hickey?" Remy mumbled to himself, hanging the leather pants back in the closet and continuing to search.

Piotr pulled out another hanger, "How about this?"

"_That_ is a prom dress."

Remy laughed, "It's long enough."

Piotr smiled as he inspected the dress, "It is pretty. I like it."

Remy continued to laugh and Kitty narrowed her eyes at him, "You guys, this isn't funny."

"I am serious!" Piotr insisted, "I like it! It has ruffles, I am sure you would look very nice in it."

"Rouching, Pete. Not ruffles._ Big_ difference. And I appreciate your... attempt at helping, but I have to be realistic here. I'm seriously effed."

"You're not _seriously effed_." Remy sighed at Kitty's choice of words, "Here. This is conservative."

Kitty let out a deep sigh and rubbed a hand over her face, "That's a Nun Halloween costume."

"Can't get more conservative than that." He grinned before knitting his brow, "I thought you were Jewish."

"It's a costume Remy." Kitty replied irritably, "I'm not dead either, but it didn't stop me from dressing up like a zombie."  
She glanced at the clock on her bedside table and let out a mild curse, "Great. I'm totally going to be late now."

She snatched the purple turtleneck away from Piotr and scooped up the slightly-too-short-skirt up off her bed, "I'm going to get a shower. Stay out of my underwear drawer."

Kitty stomped out into the hall to the bathroom with her clothes draped over her arm, and in her frustration was oblivious to the low buzzing sound emanating from the other side of the door. She shoved the door open, freezing dead in her tracks and going stiff, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Oh my**_ GOD_**!" She screeched. "What are you doing?!"

Pyro's head snapped up, "Occupied!" He yelled back, dropping the electric razor into the sink and struggling to remain balanced with one foot propped up on the bathroom sink, as he frantically grabbed at a towel that was slightly beyond his grasp. "Get out! Get out, get out!"

Kitty stumbled backwards, all the way out of the bathroom until she bumped into the wall behind her, dropping her work clothes in a pile on the floor.

"Katya?" Piotr appeared in her doorway, stepping out into the hall with a concerned frown.

"What's your problem?" Remy frowned, following a step behind Piotr, "Are the rats back again? Dammit. I thought we finally took care of them..."

"It was horrible." She shook her head, staring at the open bathroom doorway. "There was... hair everywhere..." Her voice cracked and she put her face in her hands,

Piotr knit his brow and looked back at Remy who raised an eyebrow at Kitty,

"What the hell are you talking about? What did you see?"

"Everything, Remy. Everything."

"Jesus, Kitty!" Pyro shouted from the bathroom before appearing in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist, "You ever heard of _knocking_?!"

"The door was _open_." She ground out with a deep set frown, "Why would I knock?!"

"Oh, I don't know... maybe you wanted to have a look-see at Pyro's goods?!" He snapped back, "You got a real nice view there, didn't you?!"

"Please don't remind me." She mumbled scrubbing her eyes as if to erase the memory as Remy burst out into laughter,

"You walked in on Pyro shaving his balls!" He choked out through his laughter.

"It's not funny!" Pyro shouted angrily, turning back to Kitty with a scowl, "The door wasn't open, it was_ closed_! I know I closed it! I'm not an object Kitty._ Respect boundaries_!"

"Pyro," Piotr held up a hand, holding back a chuckle to the best of his ability, "I am sure it was an accident-"

"Likely story." He bit out, tightening his grip on the towel around his waist.

"Like I really wanted to see your... pee pee." Kitty sneered, "It was high on my priority list to witness a man shaving his pubes into a flame design."

Piotr grimaced and looked back at Pyro, "A flame?"

"Fire crotch! It's clever!" Pyro griped.

"That's actually pretty impressive." Remy folded his arms and nodded thoughtfully, "All those intricate turns..."

Pyro shook his head, "It wasn't easy, mate."

"Don't encourage him!" Kitty snapped.

Piotr shot out a breath and shook his head, "I just hope you will clean up the mess."

"I will!" Pyro barked indignantly, "Nobody has a problem with Kitty's long brown hairs hanging around the shower walls."

"Yeah, that hair comes from my _head_. Big effing difference."

Pyro narrowed his eyes at her and pursed his lips, "If you hadn't have walked in on me, you never would have known about the mess in the first place." He spun around on his heel and marched back into the bathroom slamming the door shut behind him and making sure to lock it behind him, "And don't even think about trying to phase through the door to sneak another peek!" He shouted at her through the door, before starting the electric razor back up.

"Oh, barf!" She turned her frown back to Piotr and let out a frustrated grunt, "I don't have time for this shit. Now I'm officially late. So not only will I look like a... pre-teen with a hickey-" She held up her purple turtleneck sweater, "I'll be an _unshowered_ pre-teen with a hickey. A _late_ one."

"You won't look like a pre-teen with** that** skirt. Business up top, party down below." Remy smirked, which caused Kitty's scowl to grow.

"Party down below." She grumbled, stomping back to her room to get dressed.

She slammed the door shut behind her, reluctantly pulled her clothes on, and yanked her hair up into a pony tail in an attempt to hide any mid-day greasiness which would inevitably show up after skipping her morning shower. She smeared her makeup on as quickly as she possibly could without making herself look like a clown, slipped her shoes on and rushed down the hall.

Remy and Piotr had moved their morning coffee to the kitchen, while Pyro -who was now fully clothed-was sitting in the middle of the couch, hunched over a big brown box, muttering unintelligibly to himself like a crazy person.

Kitty cut her eyes to Remy, "Should I even ask?"

Remy heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head, "Lego. It's part of his anger management routine."

"His therapist told him to find an outlet, other than setting things on fire." Piotr elaborated, knitting his brow with a cringe, "He chose Lego."

Kitty's frown grew and she turned to the nut in the living room with a hand on her hip, "Seriously?! How is _he_  
the angry one here?! On top of being way late for work, I have to wash my eyes out with acid tonight."

Remy smirked and took a sip of coffee, "He's a private guy."

"I think it is part of his job." Piotr added, "Maybe he is some sort of spy."

Remy shook his head, "Like they'd let him carry a gun."

"Oh you all think you're so funny. We'll see who get's the last laugh." Pyro called back to them, looking up from the box. He glared at her dangerously and pointed at her with a yellow Lego brick, "You're going to rue the day you ever invaded my privacy, Katherine Pryde."

"I didn't invade your privacy!" Kitty threw her hands up in the air, "You left the damn door open!"

"_Rue the day!_" Pyro repeated dramatically, dumping the cardboard box of Legos out onto the coffee table, "I fight fire with fire, Kitty. You've been warned."

She shifted her eyes to Piotr who sighed and gave her a shrug, "I do not think he means that literally, but I will make sure he does not set your bed on fire while you're at work."

Kitty pressed her lips into a thin line as she shoved her arms into her jacket, "I'm so looking for a new place to live when I get home from work."


	20. The Tat

_A/N- Happy New Year everyone! My resolution is to get a lot of reviews, so let's make that happen people. ;)_

"Thanks again for taking me shopping, Rogue." Kitty sighed as she got out of her friends small Prius, "Hopefully I can make these new turtlenecks last me until I get paid and can buy some_ nice_ conservative clothes."

"You don't think turtlenecks from the old lady section of Walmart are_ nice_?" Rogue smirked as she shut the drivers side door and followed Kitty to the building. Kitty rolled her eyes by means of response, and Rogue's smirk grew to a smile. "I thought Pete picked out that turtleneck this morning. _He_ thought it was nice."

"He also thought my prom dress was nice."

"It was."

Kitty pulled the door open for Rogue to enter first, "Not for your third day as an assistant to the editor of the fashion column for the_ Glen Cove Times_."

"What about for your fourth day?" Rogue shrugged as she passed by, "Casual Friday maybe? Or is that what the new turtleneck is for?"

Kitty tipped her head back and let out an exaggerated sarcastic laugh, "You're a freakin' comedienne. Turtlenecks are a means to an end. I realized today that my hyper conservative boss appreciates my lack of skin."

"He must be gay." Rogue snorted.

"Don't be so narrow minded, Rogue. That doesn't make him gay. Maybe he's just really uptight. Or maybe he's worried he'll be tempted by my beauty." She smiled, starting up the stairs with Rogue in tow.

"Yeah, I'm sticking with the gay theory."

"Whatever," Kitty grumbled. "He's married. Also, Logan never wanted us dressing slutty, and you'd never accuse him of being gay. He was just concerned with protecting our virtue."

Rogue laughed and shook her head, "Oh Kitty, you're so cute."

"What?! He was totally a poppa bear to us girls."

"Are you serious right now?" Rogue raised a condescending eyebrow, "Logan never gave a rats ass about anyone's virtue. He just doesn't want a bunch of sexed up teens walking around, getting knocked up and infected with STD's. Think of all the parents he'd have to answer to if there was a chlamydia breakout in the manor."

Kitty knit her brow at Rogue as they continued up the stairs, "So you're telling me, that since you're no longer a teen, Logan is totally fine with you whoring around with Remy? And don't try to tell me that he doesn't know, because we all know he knows. He could smell the sprinkled donuts from a mile away..."

Rogue pressed her lips into a thin smile and shook her head, "No, he doesn't care. He's slightly concerned that I'm breaching some kind of security measures, sleeping with a former enemy and all, but it's not like we lay in bed chatting about mansion surveillance and shit."

"I don't imagine you do much talking." Kitty muttered, and Rogue smirked and gave her a nod.

"Not really."

"So what exactly are the perimeters of this... relationship you two have?"

Rogue shrugged, "It's casual. Just for fun, you know?"

"And you're totally fine with that?" Kitty frowned. "No emotions involved?"

"Actually, it's refreshing." Rogue sighed, and furrowed her brow, "You know how it always goes with me, things start out great. But then once they find out what I can do, guys get all hung up on my mutation. Even though I know how to control it now. It's like this black cloud that follows me around. I thought once I had control, I wouldn't have this issue anymore, but as it turns out guys don't like the idea that you could potentially kill them while they sleep."

Kitty pinched her brow and pursed her lips, "That's not fair. _Any_ woman has that kind of potential, when you really think about it..."

Rogue cracked a grin and let out a breath, "So, I end up getting emotionally attached and physically... disappointed. But with Remy, it's the opposite. He doesn't_ care_ that I could kill him. He's not interested in being emotionally attached, you know? It's all about the sex."

Kitty scrunched up her nose but nodded understandingly, "I guess that makes sense."

"And it's good sex. Like... **good.**" Rogue continued, "I'm telling you, the things he can do with his tongue-"

"Achh!" Kitty cut her off with a disgusted grunt, "I have to live with this guy, I don't want to know about his bedroom abilities."

"Well then as a friendly warning, you might want to avoid the apartment tomorrow night. Remy and I are going to the demolition derby, and I'm hoping to bring home some of that spicy nacho cheese before it congeals for some fun."

Kitty scrunched up her nose and gave her head a quick shake, "You're corrupting him with complex carbohydrates."

"I know, it's great, isn't it?" Rogue grinned, "Let's see how he feels about organic carrots now, hmm?"

Kitty nodded thoughtfully, "Actually, now that you mention it, he doesn't complain about the crap I eat anymore."

"See?"

"So," Kitty glanced at Rogue through the corner of her eye, "Is this like, a date?"

"No." Rogue shrugged, "We both like the demolition derby, we're just going to hang out. And then, come back home for some sex, which will hopefully involve the use of nacho cheese."

Kitty knit her brow and pursed her lips, "So you're like bros. With benefits."

"... I guess." Rogue frowned, "Although I'm not sure how I feel being called a _bro_..."

"You just willingly admitted to_ enjoying_ the demolition derby."

"Lots of hot chicks dig the demolition derby."

"Yeah, well then why isn't Remy taking one of_ them_?"

"Because this is not a date, that's why."

They reached the eighth floor and Rogue followed Kitty down the narrow hall to her front door. Kitty turned the knob and pushed the front door open, only to stop dead in the doorway.

Rogue moved next to her and knit her brow as she took in the view of the apartment, "What the hell?!"

Pyro's head snapped up and he offered them both a wide grin from his spot, cross-legged in the middle of the living room floor. "Welcome to Johnopolis!"

Kitty's eyes scanned the Lego city Pyro had created which sprawled across the entire living room.

"What is all this?' Rogue asked taking a step further into the apartment until Pyro's hand shot up.

"Watch your step!" He shouted, "As the mayor of Johnopolis it is my duty to protect it's citizens. I don't need anyone going Godzilla on my Johnopolites."

Rogue's frown grew and she put her hands on her hips, "What is _wrong_ with you?! Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child or something?!"

Kitty let out a breath and shut the door behind her, "Ugh, I can't deal with this crap right now. I just want to take a hot bubble bath and pretend I didn't just blow half a paycheck on turtlenecks."

"Yeah, I won't be sticking around Lego city." Rogue muttered.

Kitty shook her head with a frown, "Where are Pete and Remy?"

"Petey's on the balcony." Pyro jerked his head towards the window as he focused on trying to pry to Lego blocks apart, "Johnopolis was expanding into his work space and he was getting irritated."

"I can imagine." Kitty muttered, noting Piotr on the balcony through the living room window. "He wasn't exactly thrilled about working from home to begin with."

"An' Remy's gone. He's got a hot date with that Cindy girl from work... she wanted to switch shifts again or something."  
Pyro shrugged before trying to use his teeth to rip the two stuck bricks apart.

"I thought he said the sex wasn't worth it." Kitty said cautiously, giving Rogue a sidelong glance.

Pyro snorted, "He always says that. But have you _seen_ Cindy? Her knockers are tremendous."

Kitty pressed her lips together and shot Rogue another quick look.

"I'm_ fine_ Kitty." Rogue rolled her eyes, "I told you. No emotional attachment."

"Alright..." Kitty said skeptically, letting out a deep breath, "I'm gunna go put my new work clothes away and take a bath."

"I'll give you a call later," Rogue said as Kitty started down the hall with her bag in hand, "I'm very interested in seeing how long this Johnopolis thing lasts before one of you crack..."

"The record is one week." Pyro informed her with a satisfied grin, "It's very therapeutic. You should try it some time Sheila._ Roguesville_."

Rogue squinted at him silently for a moment before shaking her head, "Where you dropped on your head or something...? I'm just trying to figure it out here."

"You just have Lego envy." Pyro grumbled as he sifted through his pile of Lego for a small yellow brick. Rogue gave her eyes a roll and turned to head towards the door,

"Yeah, that's what it is." She muttered under her breath, pulling the door open. She had one foot over the threshold when she heard a sudden outburst of angry shouting come from down the hall behind her.

She spun back around as the commotion continued, knitting her brow at Pyro and the mischievous little grin on his face to ask what was going on. Before she could even form the question, Kitty burst back into the living room with an angry scowl and a finger pointed at Pyro.

"You evil, evil little man!"

"What's going on?" Rogue turned her frown to Kitty, "Is everything alright?"

"No, everything is **not** alright." Kitty spat out. The sound of a toilet flushing caused Pyro to burst out into a fit of maniacal laughter.

Remy stomped out into the living room with a dangerous look and Kitty frowned in return, "Don't get mad at me! He told us you weren't even here!"

Remy turned his glare to Pyro whose laughter quickly died out.

Pyro cleared his throat and frowned at Kitty, "I told you, I fight fire with fire."

"So you had me walk in on Remy taking a poop?" Kitty put a fist on her hip and cocked her head at Pyro, and Rogue burst out in laughter.

Remy gave her a scowl and worked the muscles in his jaw, "It's not funny."

"Oh no, it's _very_ funny." Rogue managed to say through her laughter.

"_Relax._" Kitty rolled her eyes, "It's not like I saw anything, you had the news paper-"

"You saw enough." Remy bit out, which caused Rogue's laughter to pick up once again. He turned his anger back towards Pyro, "Why are you bringing me into this?!_ She's_ the one who walked in on you shaving your pubes."

"You laughed!" Pyro said defensively, "Who's laughing now?!"

"Wait," Rogue held up her hand after getting her laughter under control enough to speak, "You walked in on Pyro shaving his pubes?" She turned to Kitty, "And you didn't tell me this?!"

"It's not exactly something I wanted to _remember_." Kitty folded her arms and knit her brow, "I'd like to wipe the image of Pyro's flame designed pubic hair from my mental canvas."

"Ew, flames?!" Rogue grimaced at Pyro, "What are you, a male stripper or something?"

Kitty and Remy exchanged a look, mutually considering this possibility before Pyro let out a frustrated breath, "I'm not a male stripper! I work from home, morons!"

Remy rubbed a hand over his face, "Listen, I'm all for getting even. But if you don't keep me out of your games, I **will** kill you. And I'm pretty sure Pete wouldn't hesitate to kill you either."

"So then how do I get even?!" Pyro threw his hands up in the air with a pout.

Remy let out a long exasperated breath and rolled his eyes, "Kitty, show him your boobs."

Kitty's head snapped towards Remy with a wide-eyed stare, "**What**?!"

"Hey now... that ain't a bad idea." Pyro nodded approvingly, "Whip 'em out Pryde."

"Kitty, do not show him your boobs." Rogue knit her brow at Pyro.

"Um, _duh_!"

"I think she's already had her fill of payback. Not only did she have to see your stripper pubes, but she had to walk in on Remy droppin' a deuce." Rogue snorted and began to chuckle again, "With his news paper like a little old grandpa..."

"I need reading material." He frowned at her, "The news paper is convenient."

"Sure it is." Rogue smiled with an unconvinced nod.

"That ain't good enough." Pyro stated firmly, "I need restitution!"

"Yeah, I don't think that means what you think it means." Kitty sneered at Pyro and crossed her arms firmly over her chest.

"Come on Sheila, tit for tat."

"Well, I'm not showing you my_ tit_."

Pyro shrugged, "It's only fair."

"He's not gunna stop until he sees the twins, petite." Remy shook his head.

"This is a ridiculous conversation." Rogue rolled her eyes, "She is not going to show anyone _the twins_, so you might as well just drop it."

The patio door slid open and Piotr paused, looking at the group gathered in the living room, and then turning his attention to Pyro's Lego city. He closed his eyes and had a few calming breaths before shaking his head, "What is all this commotion?"

"She won't show me her boobs!" Pyro frowned, jerking his thumb towards Kitty.

"_He_ made me walk in on Remy taking a poop." Kitty jabbed her finger at Pyro.

"Don't _call_ it that." Remy growled, "Say I was on the can."

"Pooping." Rogue smirked.

Remy turned and glared back at Rogue.

"Look," Kitty held up a hand, "I would rather walk in on both Pete and Remy taking a poop together, than show Pyro my boobs, okay?!" She looked at Piotr with pleading eyes, "Back me up here!"

Piotr blinked at her, shook his head as he muttered under his breath in Russian before stepping back outside and sliding the patio door shut behind him.

"I think you lost him with the _pooping together_ thing." Rogue pointed out in spite of the sour look it gained her from Remy.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I'm not showing anyone my breasts." She shook her head resolutely.

"I don't exactly need your permission, Sheila." Pyro grinned, "I can make it happen."

Kitty's face scrunched up in horror, "What are you gunna do, put a webcam in the bathroom, you pervert?!"

"No webcams Pyro." Remy demanded firmly. "None."

Pyro scoffed, "I don't need _webcams_, I'm sneaky like a ninja."

Kitty pursed her lips and gave Pyro a dead stare, "You're a moron." She stated, before clomping down the hall and angrily slamming her door shut behind her.

Pyro shrugged, turning back to his box of Lego blocks as he continued to build Johnopolis a library. "A moron who's gunna see your boobies."

Rogue closed her eyes and shook her head, "I told her. I told her she would regret wanting to live here. But did she listen to me? No... of course not. Nobody listens to me." She looked around at Johnopolis and let out a breath, "Way too much drama."

"Hey, we didn't have drama until she moved in." Remy snapped.

"Sure you didn't." Rogue turned and headed for the front door, "Have fun on your date with Sandy."

The corner of Remy's mouth tugged upwards, "_Cindy_."

"Same shit, different pile." She shook her head with shrug, pulling the front door open.

"Hang on," Remy put his hand on the door with a wide smile, stopping her from opening it all the way, "Do I sense a touch of jealousy in your tone?"

"No, Grandpa." Rogue snorted, "Trust me, there is zero jealousy going on up in here." She chuckled and gave him a punch to the shoulder. "Just make sure you suit up, okay?"


	21. The Farmer's Market

_A/N - Hey all! It's been a few weeks, and your patience is greatly appreciated. I've been incredibly sick, and I'm also incredibly pregnant, and sometimes I just don't have the energy to write like I used to. But rest assured, I will never abandon this story. Thanks in advance for all the wonderful reviews you're planning on leaving me! ;)_

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"It is _way_ too early." Pyro complained as he climbed out of Piotr's vehicle after Kitty, slamming the door shut behind him, "What kinda Farmers Market opens at 8:00 in the morning?!"

"The farmers have been awake since 5." Piotr pointed out with a smirk, "I think 8:00 is reasonable."

"Nobody forced you to come." Kitty rolled her eyes, falling in step next to Piotr and Remy.

Remy snorted and shook his head, "Nobody_ asked _you to come."

Kitty knit her brow and glanced at Pyro through the corner of her eye, "Why_ did_ you come?"

"I like the tie dye booth." Pyro rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with a yawn, "Chicks who buy tie dye are easy. Everyone knows that."

"And they don't wear bras." Remy added. Pyro gave him a wink and made a popping noise with his lips,

"Exactly, mate."

"That's incredibly stereotypical and a little gross." Kitty scrunched up her nose, "But probably not too far from the truth."

"Plus, the hemp stuff they sell smells really good." Pyro added with a nod before hurrying off in the direction of the hemp tent.

"I like the crafts." Kitty announced to no one in particular as they passed by a vendor selling hand made children's toys no child would find any enjoyment in. "They make me feel all ambitious. Like, I could totally make one of those sparkly scarves, if I wanted to."

Piotr looked at the rack of sparkly scarves Kitty was referring to and then looked back down at her skeptically.

She rolled her eyes, "It was just an example."

Remy wisely ignored Kitty and went straight to work, sifting through a large display of Heirloom tomatoes. "You just don't get this quality from a super market." He commented as he plopped a few tomatoes in his grocery bag. "This is what a tomato should look like!"

Kitty raised an eyebrow, "Red?"

Piotr cracked a grin and began looking at the selection of strawberries.

"Look at the size of this tomato." Remy announced, holding up a mid sized Heirloom to give it a smell, "This is impressive!"

Kitty's eyes wandered around the tomato display and she shrugged, "Sure. Hey," She stepped over to the cherry tomatoes and picked one up, "Why don't you get some baby tomatoes. They're so cute."

"They're not baby tomatoes, they're _cherry_ tomatoes."

"There is a_ big_ difference..." Piotr muttered sarcastically under his breath.

"You say tomato, I say _to-mah-toe_." Kitty elbowed Piotr in the ribs and laughed with a snort, stopping suddenly when she noticed the irritated look that had crossed Remy's face.

"Why don't you go look at the clothes. Some of the farmers wives knit sweaters with pictures of cats on them." He waved his hand towards the other end of the market to indicate where these cat sweaters could be found and Kitty pressed her lips together,

"Score." She rolled her eyes before heading off two browse the rest of the market on her own.

She wandered her way through the slightly crowded market, incredibly tempted to use her powers to stop pushy patrons from continually bumping into her when the aroma of freshly baked bread caught her attention. She followed her nose to the booth peddling bread and got herself a free sample, triumphantly popping the carb into her mouth as she moved onto the handmade jewelery.

She was admiring a pair of teal blue dangly earrings when Pyro came to an abrupt stop next to her and threw an arm around her shoulders.

"Gotcha something." He grinned.

Kitty heaved a sigh and shook her head, "Is it melons? Are you making a boob joke?"

Pyro scoffed and rolled his eyes, "C'mon, I'm funnier than that." He pulled his arm off her shoulders and held up a tie dye t-shirt with a wink, "For casual Fridays at work!"

Kitty smirked and took the tie dye shirt, "Thanks. This is_ totally_ conservative."

"Conservative, and yet fun." Pyro pointed out.

Kitty laughed and opened her mouth to add more, when Pyro looked past her with bright eyes.

"Hey!" He shouted suddenly, "It's Steve! Steve and Susan!" He knit his brow and looked down, "Susan? That ain't right..."

Kitty turned to see what Pyro was talking about, going rigid when she saw the couple walking hand-in-hand, directly in their direction. "Jean." She whispered as her mouth went dry, "Jean and Scott." She pushed Pyro out in front of her and did her best to duck behind him.

"What the hell are you doin'?!" He asked, trying to look back at her over his shoulder, "Are you off your rocker?!"

"Shhh!" Kitty hissed, "Don't let them see me!"

"Why not?!" Pyro frowned as he continued to attempt looking back at her over his shoulder, "They're your friends, aren't they?" He waved at the approaching couple with a wide grin.

"Pyro...?" Scott knit his brow suspiciously when he recognized the crazy red head frantically waving at them, gripping Jean's hand a little tighter.

"How's it goin', _Jean and Scott_." He gave them a wink, "I remembered your names."

"Yeah..." Jean smiled politely, "That's ni- Kitty?!"

Kitty smacked her head against Pyro's back and let out a sigh before plastering a smile on her face and peeking out from around him, "Hey! What are you guys doing here!?" She exclaimed with forced enthusiasm.

Scott's frown deepened as he looked at her from behind his red shades, "I think we should ask you the same thing..." He looked back at Pyro.

"Just checkin' out the ol' farmers market." Pyro grinned, putting an arm around Kitty, "They got pants made of _hemp_. Almost bought a pair."

"Oh!" Jean continued to smile politely and gave Kitty a nod, "That's... nice!"

"We're not together." Kitty said abruptly. "I mean, we're here together, but we're not together together."

"Why y'gotta say it like that?" Pyro frowned, "I'd be an excellent boyfriend. I bought you that shirt." He nodded his head towards the tie dye shirt in her hand to make his point.

"Why are you together?" Scott turned his stare back to Kitty.

"Scott." Jean whispered abruptly, reminding him that it wasn't any of his business.

"We're roommates." Kitty explained quickly, "That's all."

"Yeah, she won't even show me her boobs." Pyro groused, "Which ain't even fair considering she got a nice eyeful of my donger."

Jean's eyebrows shot up and Scott cleared his throat, "Kitty-"

"Your hair looks really good Jean!" Kitty cut in, attempting to change the subject, "Did you get it cut... or...?"

"You know, we still have your room available back at the Manor." Scott began, eying Pyro warily from behind his shades.

"Scott!" Jean clipped.

"What?" Scott shrugged defensively, "I'm just saying if she's so desperate for a place to live that she has to live with him, she could always-"

"Kitty," Remy interrupted, coming to a stop next to her with a frown, "You like Brussel sprouts right? That's a Jewish thing, isn't it?"

"Sure, Chinese food an' Brussel sprouts." Pyro rolled his eyes.

"A Jewish thing?" Kitty knit her brow.

Piotr gave Scott and Jean a small polite smile, "Hello." He greeted with a nod.

Scott gaped at Kitty, "You've got to be kidding me."

"Scott!" Jean snapped before returning Piotr's polite smile, "Hello Piotr, it's nice to see you." She turned her attention to Remy and struggled to keep her polite smile in place, "Gambit..."

A smile spread across his lips and he gave her a wink, "It's always nice to see you, chere."

Scott let out a deep breath and shook his head, "You live with all three Acolytes?!"

Remy rolled his eyes with an irritated sigh, "Yeah, and we have orgies every night." He looked back at Kitty, "Now, back to the Brussel sprouts-"

"And Rogue knew about this all along! All those times she was 'going to hang out at Kitty's', she's been fraternizing with the enemy!" Scott worked the muscles in his jaw and frowned at Jean, "I can't believe she'd just stand by idly and let this happen!"

Remy chuckled and shook his head, "I'd hardly say Rogue is being idle... and she definitely hasn't been doing much standing-"

Kitty jabbed him in the gut with her elbow and shot him a sharp glare, "It's none of Rogue's concern, Scott. Just like it's none of yours."

"I assure you, there are no orgies." Piotr grimaced at Remy, "Katya is perfectly safe."

"They aren't Acolytes anymore." Jean added with a nod.

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, "I just don't think this is a healthy environment for you to be in, Kitty. You're going through an emotional crisis. You need-"

"I need you to back off." Kitty stated firmly.

"I'm just saying that the death of your parents is a big deal. I've been through it, I know." He frowned.

Remy knit his brow and dropped his eyes to Kitty, "Your parents died?"

"Yes." She sighed and rubbed her forehead, "It's not a big deal. I don't want to talk about it."

"You _need_ to talk to about it, Kitty." Scott continued, "You can't just keep running from your problems. All the books I have on the grieving process clearly state that it is best to confront your issues up front. Talking about it is step one."

"I don't think this is the place to be_ talking about it_, Scott." Jean smiled politely at the three boys.

"We're worried about you." Scott continued in spite of Jeans subtle hint to put a lid on it, "You drop out of school and move in with that Lance character. Now you're living with them." He tossed a hand towards the guys, "Have you even started going back to Columbia yet?"

"Colombia?" Pyro's eyebrows shot up, "Like... the country?"

"Like the school." Scott frowned, "You're very gifted with computers, Kitty. Don't throw that away."

"I'm not throwing anything away." Kitty snapped, "I don't need a degree in computer science to prove that I'm smart, Scott."

"No, but it would help you in finding a job. Which you wouldn't need to worry about if you were still an X-Man."

"She_ has_ a job, Cyclops." Remy cut in curtly, "She doesn't need _Daddy Warbucks_ spoon feeding her through life."

"You're running away from your problems, Kitty." Scott continued, ignoring Remy entirely, "The books I've read have all clearly stated the importance of not running. You're just prolonging the process, which is only going to prolong your grief-"

"Okay!" Jean gave them a big grin, "It was great to see you Kitty. We're really happy to see you're doing so well."

Kitty pressed her lips into a terse smile and nodded silently.

Scott worked the muscles in his jaw as Jean bid them all farewell before the two carried on their way through the market, leaving the four roommates in awkward silence.

"Alright," Remy began, turning to look down at Kitty, "So these Brussel sprouts-"

Kitty let out a deep breath and rubbed a hand over her face, "I'm pretty sure I saw someone selling fresh bread over there." She muttered, waving her free hand off in another direction before trudging into the crowd to find the bread vendor.

Remy knit his brow and let his shoulders slump, "What did I say?" He turned to Pyro with a frown, "Was it the Jewish thing?"

Pyro lifted his palms skyward and shrugged.

"We should go see if she is alright." Piotr informed them, starting off after Kitty.

"Do we have to?" Remy grumbled, reluctantly following when Piotr ignored his question.

Pyro pursed his lips thoughtfully for a moment as he fell in step next to Remy, "Maybe she's just really against Brussel sprouts."

After ten minutes of searching, they found Kitty sitting alone at a picnic table a short distance from the market, gnawing away at a loaf of bread which was easily the size of a small child.

Piotr sat down across from her, folding his hands on the table silently while Remy plopped himself down beside him. Pyro straddled the bench next to her and propped an elbow up on the table.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Kitty muttered, shoving a chunk of bread into her mouth.

Remy furrowed his brow, "About the Brussel sprouts?"

"It's not that big of a deal, you know?" She continued with her mouth full of bread, "I just don't want you to make it a big deal."

"Make_ what_ a big deal?" Remy turned to Piotr with a confused frown, "Is this about C3P0 back there acting like we're infected with the plague? Because I gotta say petite, we're used to it."

Kitty looked up at Piotr and blinked silently at Remy's ignorance.

"I think she is talking about her parents death." Piotr explained, "And probably about dropping out of school."

Remy's face twisted up and he snorted, "What, you think I'm going to try to force you to talk about your_ issues_?"

"...No." Kitty mumbled with her eyes downcast.

"Yeah, what do we look like, Oprah?" Pyro laughed, "Not Dr. Phil, I can't stand that bloke."

Kitty lowered her giant loaf of bread and pursed her lips, "I'm just used to everybody getting on my case about it all, you know? Trying to force me into opening up and trying to force me into going back to school-"

"Listen," Remy began, "The last thing I want you to do is _open up_. You'd start all that emotional crap with the crying and the talking..."

"We are not going to force you into anything, Katya." Piotr reassured her kindly.

"I'm a pretty good listener though." Pyro said proudly, "I mean, I don't always pay attention, but I get the gist of the conversation."

"And as for forcing you to go back to school? That's just stupid." Remy rolled his eyes, "School is a waste of time."

"Boring!" Pyro added.

"Well, I would not say that furthering your education is a waste of time." Piotr said diplomatically, "Especially not if it is something you are passionate about. But no one can make that decision for you."

Remy leaned against the table and leveled his stare at Kitty, "All school is good for, is beefing up your resume."

"An' what the hell is _computer science_ anyways?" Pyro snorted, "That sounds like a made up course Sheila."

Kitty cracked a grin and shook her head.

"Now that I think about it, you could have at least put something about _exceptional computer skills_ on your resume Kitty, honestly. Maybe then you wouldn't be working for some donut eating fashion editor." Remy shook his head condescendingly.

"I think you mean exceptional_ compufer_ skills." Piotr grinned.

Kitty's smirk grew and she swatted at him from across the table.

"You could have put the orphan thing on there too." Pyro said with a serious nod, "A little bit of sympathy goes a long way."

Remy nodded in agreement and Kitty scowled, "That's just stupid."

Pyro's eyes widened with a brilliant idea blossoming in his mind, "You should have put that you were willing to work topless on your resume too! I mean, it just _looks_ good, it doesn't have to be true."

Kitty cut her eyes to Pyro and shook her head, "That is _really_ stupid."

"Gives a whole new meaning to casual Friday's, hmm?" He grinned, wagging his eyebrows, "Course, you'd come home and wanna let the girls roam free. We would be okay with that. Actually, you might even find it therapeutic. Freeing, ya know?"

Kitty rolled her eyes and let out a breath, "Pyro, I'm not showing you my boobs."

Pyro gave her an innocent shrug, "I'm just tryin' to help! It could work... you never know..."


	22. The Clothes

_A/N - I heart you all. Thanks for your patience guys... As promised, I'm not abandoning this story (the thought never even crossed my mind) in fact, I have been working on something "new". _

_See the quotes there? "New"? Those quotes are important. That's all you're getting out of me for now. ;)_

_I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Please leave a review!_

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Remy looked up when the door swung open and cracked loudly against the doorstop, seeing Kitty clomp in with Rogue not far behind her.

"I'm done. I'm so done. I'm going in Monday, and I'm quitting. That's right, I quit. I'm a big fat quitter." Kitty announced as she kicked her shoes forcefully into the coat closet.

"Well I wouldn't say fat, but it wouldn't hurt to lose a few." Pyro shrugged without looking up from the Lego skyscraper he was making.

"Bad day?" Remy smiled, turning his attention back to the TV.

"Ch'yeah!" She snorted.

"I thought you and Rogue were going out for some... girly movie night or some shit."

"We are." Rogue nodded, "Kitty needs to... freshen up."

Remy knit his brow and Kitty rolled her eyes,

"No, Kitty needs to wash the stench of 20 different knock-off perfumes from her skin." Kitty snapped, "Seriously, someone doing an article on 'smell a-likes' instantly means that the Editor's assistant gets to rub crap perfume all over every inch of uncovered skin. Some of them _burned_, guys. And _Channel_ No. 5 is not a creative knock-off name. Come on."

Remy pressed his lips together in an attempt to hide the smile that was forming.

"What else happened." Rogue prompted, taking a seat on a bar stool with a grin.

Kitty threw her hands in the air and let out a breath, "I was talking to this bitch Janice from accounting, who _apparently_ is some kind of part time professional colour analyst. She kept insisting that I'm a spring. Me! A spring! Can you imagine?!"

"The horror." Remy deadpanned.

"Yeah! She kept saying my personality was way too bubbly to be a Summer. Whatever the hell_ that_ means. I mean, I'm not opposed to being a Spring, I'm just saying that I'm totally not."

"That bitch." Remy shook his head.

"What else happened." Rogue prompted again.

Kitty frowned, "Oh! The cherry on top of the cake of crap! I heard this morning that they're making _another_ Star Wars movie. With the original cast. As if making Han Solo a pansy who shoots second wasn't bad enough, now we have to watch geriatric Han, hanging out at the intergalactic old folks home complaining about how lazy Jedi's are now-a-days. Thanks a lot for ruining my life George Lucas."

"That's a rumor, it'll never happen." Pyro grumbled with his eyes fixed to the Lego skyscraper.

"Yeah well, the idea is out there now. You can't un-hear crap like that." Kitty huffed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a shower. I smell like a cast member from_ Jersey Shore_."

"Make it snappy, the show starts at 6:30." Rogue called out after her, getting an unintelligible grumble in response.

Remy knit his brow after Kitty shut her bedroom door, "I hope that Star Wars thing isn't true. Could you imagine a 60 year old Leia in that gold bikini?"

Pyro grimaced dramatically, "Old boobies. Not cool mate." He glanced down the hallway quickly, noting that Kitty had occupied the bathroom before glancing back at them with a grin, "Speaking of boobies..."

"You're not going to see anything." Rogue called after Pyro as he got up and started down the hall, "You know she locked the door."

Pyro waved her comments off and continued on his quest, leaving Remy and Rogue alone in the living room.

Rogue rolled her eyes and crossed the room to take a seat next to Remy on the couch, "So I hear you had a run-in with the golden couple this past weekend." She kicked her feet up on the coffee table and shook her head, "You guys could have given me a heads up, you know. I was completely blindsided when they got back. They were all up in arms about me coming to visit you guys. They're alright with Kitty living here, but my coming to visit is apparently crossing some kind of line."

"We are pretty awful." Remy conceded.

"Scott actually tried to forbid it." She smirked, "He used those words, I shit you not."

"He thinks you're going to corrupt me or something." She continued.

"Is that so?" Remy raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Apparently you're a bad influence." Rogue knit her brow thoughtfully for a moment, "I kind of see his point. I mean, you did basically kidnap me."

"You people need to look up what that word means." Remy rolled his eyes irritably, "You were free to leave at any point."

Rogue gave him a level stare and he shrugged defensively, "You were!"

"Well, regardless of the details surrounding _that_ situation," Rogue frowned, "He's completely oblivious to the fact that you don't forbid a girl from seeing a guy. Especially not _this_ girl."

Remy smirked and stretched his arm out along the back of the couch behind her, "Makes me more appealing, no?"

"No," Rogue huffed, "It just pisses me off and makes me want to do it just to stick it to him."

"Well feel free to stick it to me, to stick it to him, any time." Remy winked.

She turned to him with a grimace and he shook his head with a sigh,

"I know, that was bad." He rubbed his forehead, "I've been working doubles and I think all of the carbs you keep force feeding me are slowing down my brain."

"Working doubles for... Mindy?"

"Cindy." Remy corrected, "And yes, as a matter of fact."

Rogue let out a laugh, "Damn Lebeau, you really would do anything for a piece of ass. Eat a box of sprinkled donuts, work a double shift-"

"Well, that was partially for the money."

She cut her eyes to him, cautiously.

"For working the extra shift." He clarified, making sure she understood that he was not paid for sex. "I mean, the sex is a perk, but getting all those extra tips is really the icing on the cake."

Pyro scurried back into the living room with a mischievous grin, returning to his spot on the floor amongst his Lego city mere seconds before the shower could be heard shutting off.

"Mission accomplished?" Remy raised an eyebrow, "Can't be, I didn't hear any yelling..."

"Mission ain't over mate." Pyro man giggled to himself as he pieced together another building.

The bathroom door opened, and they all quietly listened to Kitty's light footsteps heading to her room, and the door shutting behind her. Pyro stifled his excitement to the best of his ability as they waited for a full minute before Kitty burst out of her room and flew down the hall like a bat out of hell with her hair sopping wet and her towel still wrapped around her body.

"I'm going to kill you!" She shrieked at him, clutching her fluffy white towel around her chest with one hand as she tried to grab Pyro unsuccessfully, before he hurried across the living room. "Where are my clothes?!"

"You want 'em back Pryde, you know the price!" Pyro grinned tauntingly.

"Wait... you hid her clothes?" Remy knit his brow and craned his neck to look at Pyro, "That was your master plan?"

"Maybe." Pyro smiled, "Or maybe I burned 'em..."

Kitty let out a growl and made another lunge for Pyro, "I will literally kill you Pyro! Where are they?!"

"He hid everything?" Rogue frowned, "What about the clothes you were wearing when you went into the bathroom, he couldn't have hidden those."

"No, but they smell like the inside of a sultan's pajamas. I can't wear them! It kind of defeats the purpose of the shower, you know." Kitty barked, "I can't go around smelling like _Night Swept_ all evening."

"Well there's no way he could have hidden _everything_." Rogue looked back at Pyro dubiously.

"Oh," Pyro nodded smugly, "I hid everything. Nice nickers by the way."

Kitty sucked in a breath and narrowed her eyes in a dangerous glare, "Give me back my clothes, Pyro."

"Or what, Sheila?"

Kitty grabbed Pyro's newly built Lego town hall off the coffee table and held it up, "Or Johnopolis is going to suffer from it's very first town disaster."

Pyro narrowed his eyes back at her, "You wouldn't."

"I swear to God, I will go Godzilla all over this shit."

When Pyro didn't respond fast enough for Kitty's liking, she threw the Lego town hall to the floor, effectively smashing it to bits, just to prove her point.

Pyro let out a squeak. "This is all your fault to begin with!" He threw his hands up, gesturing to his sprawled out Lego city, "You're just making it worse! For every building you break, I'm making three in its place!"

"You're running out of Lego's Pyro. Don't think I didn't notice." Kitty grabbed a house and tore it apart, dropping the blocks to the floor, "And for the last time, the door was OPEN."

"It was not open!"

"It was open!" She shouted, grabbing Pyro's fire station and throwing it against the wall directly behind his head. "Now give me my damn clothes back!"

"You can have 'em back as soon as justice is served!"

"Justice." Kitty scoffed, "Since when do you give a damn about justice. I've seen you try to set an old woman's car on fire."

"Hey. That old lady was asking for it." Pyro shot back defensively, "She parked in my spot."

"She parked in the handicapped spot!"

"Which is where _I_ was going to park!"

Kitty let out another growl, throwing another Lego house to the floor.

"You're doin' this the hard way! Just show me your titties and we'll all happy."

The front door opened, and everyone turned to see Piotr standing in the doorway with a small, lithe redhead. Her ginger hair was swept up in a smooth bun and her brown eyes did a slow, uncomfortable scan of Johnopolis before settling on the nearly naked Kitty. She sucked in a slow breath and straightened her spine stiffly, cutting her eyes quickly over to Piotr.

Piotr cleared his throat, attempting to retain his composure at the incredibly odd situation he'd just walked in on and gave Anya a reassuring smile.

"Anya, these are my... roommates." He turned back to them and knit his brow, "Remy, Pyro... Kitty... that is Kitty's friend, Rogue..." He ran a hand over his face and shook his head.

Kitty smiled, clutching her towel a little bit tighter with her sopping wet hair hanging limply on her shoulders, "Anya! We've heard so much about you."

"So much." Pyro nodded with a matching polite smile. "Although he didn't tell us you were a ginger."

Piotr gave him a sharp warning look and Pyro clamped his lips shut.

"I wish that I could say the same." Anya looked up at Piotr and lowered her voice, "I did not realize that Kitty was... a woman..."

Rogue snorted, but wisely kept her comments to herself, and Kitty blinked at Piotr blankly for a moment before regaining her composure.

"Yeah I guess-" She cleared her throat, "It's a common nickname around here, but I guess you wouldn't hear much of it in Russia."

Anya pressed her lips together in a tight smile and gave Kitty a calculated once-over.

"Pete and I are just friends." Kitty continued, picking up on Anya's unspoken hesitance to accept this new information, "Totally platonic. He might as well be _gay_. I mean, obviously he's not." She chuckled and tossed a hand towards her, "Obviously..." Her chuckle fell flat and she shook her head, soldiering on, "But you know,_ I_ could be gay to him too. I'm totally not. But that's like, you know, how he would see me. Not in an erotic way, or anything. You know, like, fantasies or anything..."

Remy turned his eyes to her in slight disbelief over how quickly she had managed to shove a foot in her mouth. She sucked in a breath and went on,

"We're just like two... platonically gay... friends. Who are straight. It's all very... platonic." She let out a flat laugh and shrugged, "It's... nothing."

"Wow." Pyro's eyebrows shot up, voicing what everyone else was likely thinking.

Remy stood up and crossed the room to stop in front of Anya and Piotr, "You'll have to excuse her. She inhaled a dangerous amount of cheap perfume today. There's a good possibility that it did some permanent brain damage." He dipped his head to Anya with a sickly sweet smile, "Besides chere, you're far to beautiful to be jealous of _that_." He tossed his hand back towards Kitty who frowned silently.

"Oh yeah, Sheila," Pyro nodded, "You're gorgeous. Ol' Kitty here. Bleh."

Kitty scowled at Pyro who pressed his lips together sheepishly, "Just tryin' to be nice..."

Her scowl remained unwavering until Pyro dropped his gaze, temporarily admitting defeat. "I'll... go get your clothes."

Kitty turned back to Anya with another awkward smile, "It was really nice meeting you." She shot Piotr a quick apologetic look before following Pyro down the hall to her room.

Once they had left, Remy turned back to Anya with another smooth grin, "She's almost always wearing clothes. Promise."


	23. The Fire

_A/N - This chapter was so hard for me to write for some unknown reason. However, I eventually managed to work my way through it. Better late than never I guess, eh? Thanks for your patience guys! I can't believe how many amazing reviews I've been getting. :D_

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Much to her disappointment, Kitty was awake at the ass crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. She spent a half an hour trying to force herself back to sleep unsuccessfully, before giving up and rolling out of bed. She shuffled out to the living room in her over sized night shirt and shorts, squinting at the sun beaming in through the patio window with a yawn, noticing that oddly enough, she was not the first one awake.

She grabbed the golden yellow afghan off the back of the couch and moved over to the patio, sliding the door open quietly and peeking her head out with a tired smile,

"Good morning."

Piotr looked up from his easel and gave a wry grin, "Oh look, she is wearing clothes." He said, turning his attention back to his painting.

Kitty frowned, stepping outside and wrapping the afghan around her shoulders and sliding the door shut behind her, "I'm really sorry Pete-"

He gave his head a shake and cut her off, "You do not need to apologize Katya. I should have known better than to bring her home without warning."

"I hope you didn't get in too much trouble." Kitty hugged the blanket around her body tightly and leaned back against the guard rail.

"No," Piotr smiled, "I did not get in _trouble_."

"Good." She nodded thoughtfully for a moment before adding, "It would have been nice if you'd have told her I was a chick, you know."

"I assumed she understood _Kitty_ was a 'chick name'." He frowned, going back to his painting.

Kitty turned her attention to the canvas watching him paint in silence. He was busy mixing colours to get the perfect shade of yellow for the glowing sunlit sky, captivating her by how effortlessly he was able to capture the beauty of nature with paint. Every detail down to the droplets of dew on on the leaves in the foreground was accounted for, and the entire canvas seemed to glow, as if lit from within. Kitty grinned to herself as she watched him work.

"I think this is the longest you have ever been quiet." Piotr mused with a smirk.

"Nah, I'm pretty quiet while I'm sleeping."

He looked up at her, noting that she was admiring his work so closely and inclined his head towards the canvas.

"Do you like it?" He asked modestly and Kitty furrowed her brow,

"Oh Peter," She shook her head and let out a dreamy breath, "I more than like it. It's beautiful."

"It is not finished..."

"It doesn't have to be." She grinned, moving next to him and leaning down to look at the painting from over his shoulder, "It's... _luminous_." She chuckled, resting her chin on his shoulder, "It's _effervescent_."

"Someone has been reading the Thesaurus, yes?"

Kitty let out another breath and knit her brow, "I can't get over how amazingly talented you are."

"I am not so sure I am that amazing." He sighed and shook his head, "This is taking too long."

"You can't rush perfection." Kitty smiled, bumping her head against his playfully, "At least that's what Remy tells me every morning when he's taking forever doing his hair in the bathroom."

Piotr cracked a grin despite the furrow on his brow, "The show opens in two weeks. I still have three paintings to complete, and it takes me twice as long to work with my hand-"

"Hush." Kitty swatted his arm, "You're over thinking, Pete. You're_ going_ to finish. And everyone is going to love you."

He rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head, "It is a good thing you are optimistic."

"I'm not optimistic, Pete. I'm realistic." She rubbed his arm with a smile, turning her attention to his hand. "It's still bothering you."

"Yes. It is getting better, but it feels stiff." He set his paintbrush down and picked up a rag to clean his hands.

"Let me see." She said, taking his hand before he could offer it. She knit her brow as she inspected the partially healed wound on his hand. "It's probably just tight because it's healing. Your skin's pulling. It looks really good though." She nodded, "But you should probably cover it up while you're painting, silly."

Piotr smiled, "You do not think acrylic is good for my wound?"

"Well I mean, I'm no doctor." She shrugged casually.

"You are quitting your job on Monday, are you not? Perhaps you could get a job in a hospital, work your way up the ranks to head surgeon?"

Kitty's eyebrows shot up and her eyes twinkled with laughter, "Oh! He's a _funny_ guy now!"

Piotr grinned as he gently cleaned the paint off his injured hand.

"You go ahead and laugh at me, but I'm telling you, I could do it."

"If anyone could Katya, it would be you."

Kitty snorted and stood upright, "Thanks big guy. Although, I'm starting to re-think my impulse decision to quit based on cheap cologne."

"I figured you would." He nodded as he began to pack up his supplies.

"I've already invested so much money into turtlenecks. If I quit, what am I going to do with all those turtlenecks?"

"You could save them for a hickey day."

Kitty let out a laugh and shook her head as she moved back to the balcony door, "I don't foresee any of those in my near future, and I'd really hate my old lady turtlenecks to go to waste."

"I do not see any problem with your turtlenecks, I think they are nice." Piotr shrugged as he wiped the excess paint from his paintbrush onto the rag.

"Says the guy who tried to get me to wear my prom dress to work." She replied with a wry grin, sliding the balcony door open and stepping back inside.

"You asked for my help." Piotr informed him, following her in.

Kitty let out an unattractive snort, "Uh, no. I'm pretty sure I didn't."

"Sure you did."

"Well I'd hardly consider that _help_." Kitty chuckled, "It was more of a hindrance than anything."

Piotr looked past her and his face lit up, "Anya, I was going to let you sleep in."

Kitty turned and saw Anya standing at the end of the hall, fully dressed in her pink silk shirt and skinny jeans, ready for the day at 7 am.

"I am not used to sleeping in." She informed them stiffly, lifting her chin with her hands folded in front of her. "I thought we could go out for breakfast."

"Yes, of course." He nodded, "I will go clean up. Give me ten minutes and we can go."

Anya nodded with a thin smile and Piotr crossed the living room, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as he passed her down the hall.

Kitty gave Anya a big grin, trying to ignore the fact that the red head looked practically pristine, whereas_ she_ was likely sporting some pretty nice bedhead having literally just rolled out of bed.

"So!" Kitty began, walking over to the kitchen in her socked feet, "Can I get you anything, Anya?"

"No thank you." She declined politely, standing perfectly still as she watched Kitty move around the kitchen.

"You can sit down." Kitty said, gesturing to the seats at the island counter.

Anya hesitated, quickly glancing at the living room before coming to sit down at the kitchen.

"Did you want a coffee?" Kitty offered as she sat across from her with a bowl of cereal.

"No. Thank you." Anya declined again, "I do not drink coffee."

"Oh." Kitty nodded as she swirled her spoon through her Honeycombs, "You don't buy into that whole, _it'll stunt your growth_ junk, do you? Because I gotta say, I'm pretty sure the jury is still out on that one." She smirked.

"No." Anya replied simply.

"I'm not allowed to drink coffee." Kitty shook her head as she took a bite, "The guys say it makes me too high strung." She rolled her eyes.

Anya nodded and looked away, straightening her back and elegantly folding her hands on her lap.

"So..." Kitty began, attempting to keep the conversation alive, "You're a ballerina."

Anya pursed her lips and gave Kitty a single nod, clearly not as eager to participate in idle chit chat.

"That's pretty cool. I wanted to be a ballerina when I was a kid. But then I hit puberty and realized that it probably wasn't the most stable career choice." Kitty snorted and took another bite of cereal, realizing only then how her comment may be received as condescending. "For me." She added with a mouth full of Honeycombs to clarify.

"Yes." Anya lifted her chin and cast her gaze towards the hallway with a sigh, "Puberty is a difficult time for most dancers. It becomes much harder to control your weight." She turned back to Kitty and gave her a flat smile, "In general."

Kitty blinked at Anya for a moment before nodding, in spite of the distinct feeling that she had just been insulted.

She turned her attention back to her cereal and endured the awkward silence for a few more minutes until she was finished her breakfast. She stood and moved to the sink, disposing of her bowl and turning back towards Anya with a frown.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything? Some juice? Milk?"

"I am a vegan. I do not eat or drink anything from an animal." Anya replied, glancing at her watch as she spoke, "And juice is very high in sugar."

Kitty smiled, "You'll get along great with Remy. He's constantly going on about all that healthy eating crap."

At the mention of his name, Anya looked back up at Kitty with her perfectly manicured brow puckered, "Could I ask you something?" She began, leaning forward and lowering her voice a notch as if the room were bugged, "Are you comfortable living with... you know..."

Kitty quirked her eyebrow, "Guys?"

"Mutants." Anya whispered.

"Um..."

"It does not seem safe to me." Anya continued.

Kitty knit her brow and frowned, "How much have you and Pete talked about this?"

She sat up straighter and looked back to Kitty with a nod, "Oh, I know that Piotr is one of them. We have agreed that he will not show me his... mutation."

"Oh." Kitty looked down, "Okay."

"But that_ Remy_ person..." Anya shook her head, looking towards the hall again, "I do not like the way he looks at me. It is unsettling."

"You'll get used to his eyes." Kitty replied carefully, "Besides, _he's_ not the one you really have to worry about."

As if on cue, Pyro came to a stop at the end of the hall with his hair standing up in every direction, stretching dramatically with an unnecessarily wide yawn.

"Morning." He mumbled as he rubbed a hand over his face and through his messed up hair.

"We have company." Kitty spilled quickly, before Pyro got around to scratching his junk. His eyes blinked open and he grinned when he noticed Anya.

"Ahh, the tiny dancer!" He gave her a wink, "Got lucky last night, didja?"

"John." Kitty clipped with a warning look.

He held his hands up innocently and sat down next to Anya, "Just pointin' out the obvious."

Anya leaned away from Pyro slightly and Kitty shook her head, "Well, don't."

Pyro plopped his elbow on the counter and dropped his chin onto his fist with a big grin, "So, ya got some prima ballerina gal pals you could introduce to ol' Pyro?" He asked with an eyebrow wag.

"...No." Anya said, looking at Pyro through the corner of her eye cautiously.

"I'm sure ya do. I'm quite the catch, ain't that right Kitty?"

"Nope."

"Sure I am!" Pyro scoffed, "I'm tall, dark and handsome, sensitive, smart-"

Kitty snorted, "None of those things describe you."

"-And I'm incredibly talented." Pyro continued, ignoring Kitty, "I can play the banjo, which is actually a lot harder than you'd think. I can curl my tongue, like this." He demonstrated for Anya, "And you should see what I can do with fire." His eyes glimmered with slightly manic excitement.

"She doesn't want to see that, Pyro." Kitty shook her head firmly.

"'Course she does, everyone does. Y'got a lighter on ya, Sheila?"

"I do not smoke. And my name is Anya." She grimaced, glancing towards the hall longingly.

"Remy's got one in his coat pocket." He looked around with a frown, "Where'd he drop that thing...?" He spied the dirty brown coat hanging off the back of the grey arm chair and snatched it up, digging through the pocket for the little Bic lighter at the bottom.

"Pyro..." Kitty said warningly, "_She doesn't want to see_."

He pulled the lighter out with a wide grin and flicked it to life. "Watch this." He instructed, proceeding to demonstrate his unique skill, "A flower for m'lady?"

Anya leaned back away from Pyro, "No! I do not-"

"Y'know Mario right? They have Nintendo in Russia, right?" He knit his brow thoughtfully, before nodded by means of response to his own question, "You know what happens when Mario finds a flower?"

"Pyro,_ no_." Kitty demanded, hurrying around the counter to attempt to reason with him. Unfortunately, she was a second too late, and had barely made it around when he threw a fireball with a slightly psychotic laugh, effectively setting the couch on fire.

Kitty was frozen in place, rendered speechless by the shock of watching their couch in flames, Anya was stuck to her seat staring in horror, and Pyro was mesmerized by the pretty orange flames, when Remy marched down the hall in his boxer briefs with a fire extinguisher under his arm.

He aimed the nozzle at the couch and quickly snuffed out the flames before dropping the extinguisher and scowling at Pyro.

"Dammit John!"

"I'm sorry-"

"What is the rule?!" He snapped.

"No fire inside." Pyro pouted, "I just wanted to show Anya..."

Remy noticed Anya's overwhelmed face for the first time, and let out a deep breath, "Are you okay?"

The smoke alarm began to screech, brought to life by the thick cloud of smoke produced by the burnt upholstery, cutting Anya off before she could answer.

Piotr came to a stop at the end of the hall, taking in the sight of the smoky living room and charred couch, turning his eyes to Anya who still appeared to be in serious shock. He crossed over to her, sending Pyro a sharp glare as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders,

"There is only one rule Pyro! _One!_"

"I know, but-"

"What is the matter with you people?!" Anya shouted suddenly, "You_ freaks_!"

"It was just an accident." Remy rubbed a hand over his tired face, "No need for name calling, chere."

"An accident?!" She jumped up off the stool and coughed, waving the black smoke away from her face, "I could have been killed!" She turned to to Piotr, "I could have _died_!"

"I wasn't aiming at you." Pyro said sheepishly.

"And _him._" She tossed a hand towards Remy, "Walking around in his... _underwear_." She hissed the word as if it were dirty.

Remy smirked, "Never had any complaints about that before."

"And then there is _Kitty_, who is apparently not a man, and who apparently does not wear clothing either."

Anya lifted her chin, ran her hands down her silk shirt to smooth out any imaginary wrinkles and stormed out of the apartment.

Piotr worked the muscles in his jaw and stared daggers at Pyro. "This is why I do not bring women home."

"Lesson learned, eh mate?" Pyro snorted, flinching when Piotr made a tiny move towards him.

Piotr turned around and stormed out after Anya, leaving the smoke filled apartment in a very pregnant silence.

"Okay," Kitty said eventually, "I just have to point out that I am _clearly_ wearing clothes this time."


	24. The Couch

_A/N- I am in love with my reviewers.  
_

_Okay, that's weird. I love you, but I'm not "in love" with you. It's not you, it's me. _

_That's even more weird. I'm regretting my decision to go in the love direction... Please continue to review. And know that I'm very much in like with you all. :)_

_I would like to dedicate this chapter to my brain twin, Lizzieturbo, who still manages to find time for me in spite of being busy with her Anthropology diorama... _

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Couch shopping was not how any of them had planned on spending their Sunday afternoon, but thanks to Pyro's Mario impression the day before, it had become a necessary evil. Piotr instantly went off on his own the second they walked into the store, mostly to stay a safe distance away from Pyro, leaving the other three to peruse at their own pace. And considering this was their fourth stop at a furniture store that day, their pace was slow.

"I don't even know why we need a new couch. Our couch isn't _that_ burned." Pyro pouted as he poked a leather recliner to make it rock.

Remy cut his eyes to Pyro with a frown, "Yes, it is."

"I thought those things were supposed to be coated with some type of flame retardant." Kitty flopped down on a lime green sofa and kicked her feet up, "We should totally look into suing."

"Yes!" Pyro jabbed a finger at Kitty, "I don't wanna pay for a new couch!"

Remy pressed his lips into a thin smile, "You'd rather pay for a lawyer?"

"I could be my own lawyer." Pyro shrugged, running his finger along the edge of the leather recliner, "Save a lot of money."

Kitty rolled her eyes and rested her head back on the lime green couch, "I like this one. It's so comfy."

Remy sneered at the couch, "That is the ugliest thing in here."

"Nu-uh." Pyro shook his head, "They've got a couch shaped like a shoe over there."

"Okay, it's in the top three of the ugliest things in here." Remy relented with a smirk, looking around the showroom quickly, "What about leather? It'd be harder to set on fire."

"I don't like leather." Kitty frowned, "Too cold. And Pyro burned my afghan."

"I don't like leather either. Too _expensive_." Pyro pouted, "Why do I have to pay for a new couch? Can't we just get something off _craigslist_?"

"Ew! No!" Kitty protested, "We plan on sitting on this thing, you don't know where a _craigslist_ couch has been. Or what has been... done on it..." She grimaced with a little shudder and Remy smiled, leaning against a TV stand.

"I hate to break it to you petite but there were plenty of things done on-"

"_No_." Kitty held her hand up to stop him from saying anything else, "Let me live in my happy ignorance." She turned to Pyro and put her hands on her hips, "You have to pay for a new couch because you destroyed our old one with a fire ball. I feel like this should go without saying."

"Yeah but we _all_ use the couch. We should all go in on it together. That makes more sense."

"What's the matter?" Remy grinned, "That mystery job of yours not paying as well as you thought?"

Pyro glowered at Remy, "Shut up."

"Those drug trials don't pay much money to their test subjects, do they?" Kitty added with a wry grin.

"You suck." He snapped, before trudging away to go look at bedroom sets.

"He does have a point." Remy reluctantly admitted once Pyro was out of earshot, turning to face Kitty with a resigned frown, "If we leave it to him to pay, we'll end up with the cheapest piece of crap we can find. But if we break it up four ways, we could afford something _nice_."

Kitty chewed her lip and continued to walk down the tight aisle, "I don't know..."

"Think about it, a thousand bucks split four ways-"

"I know how to do the math Remy." Kitty replied flatly.

"They teach you that in college, did they?" He smiled.

"I'm saying that I don't know... if we should all buy a big ticket item together." Kitty frowned as she continued, "It just seems like a big commitment, is all."

Remy let out a deep breath as he followed a few feet behind her, "Right, I forgot about your commitment issues."

"I don't have commitment issues." Kitty rolled her eyes, "Lance is full of shit."

"No, actually, I think he's onto something there." Remy shook his head, "Too afraid to set down any roots. Can't stay in one place too long? Drop out of school, leave the X-men... we're next, hmm? You're afraid to commit to us, aren't ya petite?"

"Oh my _God_, shut up." Kitty sighed, "What about Pete? You think little miss stick-up-her-ass is going to want him living with us for very much longer?"

"This ain't about Pete."

Kitty stopped to check out a price tag on a brown faux suede sofa and shook her head, "But you know I'm right."

"Kitty." Remy said flatly, "I could care less if you choose to leave. I really don't give a shit about your issues, no offense. But if you're gunna leave, don't make it be over a damn couch. Get your shit together."

Her head snapped up to give him a frown, "Real sensitive, Remy."

He lifted his hands with his palms up and shrugged, "But you know I'm right..." He smiled.

"You're an ass." Kitty shook her head and looked back down at the price tag. "Besides, who are you to talk to me about _commitment issues_?"

"Oh, I don't have commitment issues." He flopped down on the plush sofa and stretched his arms out along the back, "Just haven't found someone worth the hassle, is all."

Kitty pressed her lips together to suppress a smile and gave him an unconvinced nod, "Sure."

"It's true. I'm a romantic at heart." He grinned up at her, "When I find that special someone I wanna screw for life, I'll lock it down."

She scrunched up her nose, "You're so crass."

"The chicks I seem to attract are always the clingy high maintenance type, chere." He explained," That ain't the kind of girl I want to be stuck with forever. I want someone I can have fun with outside of the bedroom. Someone worth talking to."

Kitty snorted, "Good luck with that one."

Remy patted the cushion next to him, "Try this one out. It's pretty cozy."

She flopped down next to him and bounced a few times before settling back into the couch. "Yeah, not bad."

"You think it'll look good in the living room?" He asked, cocking his head to further inspect the couch.

"Since when do you care what looks good in the living room?" Kitty snorted.

"Since I saw that hideous green thing over there." He jerked his thumb towards the couch Kitty had chosen earlier, "You have bad taste, petite."

"Whatever, that couch was cute."

"Sure, if you were blind." Remy grinned smugly at the sneer his comment gained him. After a few moments spent in silence as the tested the brown suede sofa, he eventually knit his brow and gave Kitty a sidelong glance, "So what are your thoughts on little miss stick-up-her-ass?"

Kitty let out a long breath and considered her words carefully before giving her head a shake, "I don't know. I guess I don't_ get_ it. They seem like such an odd pair..."

"Oh, I get it." The corner of Remy's mouth twitched upwards and he chuckled, "I bet she's really flexible..."

Kitty rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath.

"It is a pretty big selling point." Remy rubbed the scruff on his chin, "Plus, that body is pretty tight."

"I don't know why I talk to you." Kitty grumbled.

Remy caught sight of Piotr wandering around and flagged him down, "Come try this one out!"

Piotr sighed and reluctantly made his way over to them, settling down into the couch next to Kitty. He shrugged and ran his hand along the faux suede on the arm with a nod, "It is nice."

Kitty turned her body towards him and tucked a foot underneath her other leg, "Are you still mad?"

He shook his head silently and Kitty furrowed her brow,

"Was Anya _really_ pissed?"

"Who cares." Remy muttered.

Kitty smacked Remy in the gut, keeping her attention fixed to Piotr as he worked the muscles in his jaw, "She will settle down, although I am not sure she will be overly willing to come back to our place."

"Well, what if we took her out for dinner or something? You know? As a 'sorry we almost killed you' gesture?" She asked, hanging her arm over the back of the sofa, "A public setting would make her feel more... um... safe."

"I will ask." He said doubtfully.

"Good." Kitty grinned, patting Piotr on the knee, "We can win her over yet. Don't worry."

He offered her a small smile, "Thank you."

Pyro cautiously came to a stop next to Piotr and offered him a sheepish smile, "Still mad at me?"

Piotr responded with a grunt and Pyro squeezed himself between him and the arm of the couch with a frown, "I swear it was an accident."

"I do not want to talk about it." Piotr clipped as he shifted closer to Kitty on the couch.

"What do you think about this one?" Remy asked, leaning forward to take a look at Pyro, "Not bad, right?"

Pyro shrugged, "It's alright, I guess."

"Good." Remy leaned back and draped his arm over Kitty's shoulders, "We figure helping you pay wouldn't be the end of the world. It's up to Pete if he wants to pitch in."

Piotr shrugged and Pyro threw his arms around him in a tight bro hug, "Oh thank God. I thought I was gunna have to start selling sperm just to afford a non-craigslist-couch."

"Ew." Kitty grimaced. "Just for that, you have to pay for delivery on your own."

Pyro snorted, "Delivery?!" He let out a chuckle and elbowed Piotr in the rib, "Frail little Sheila thinks we need to _pay_ someone for delivery."

Piotr smirked in spite of himself and Kitty frowned, "What?"

"You really think we need someone to bring us a couch?" Remy shook his head with a condescending little smile, "We ain't the pansy ass X-men chere."

Piotr chuckled and looked down at Kitty, "It is just a sofa. I am sure _we_ can manage."

"Hell, Pete could carry the thing inside all on his own." Pyro snorted, "If he wasn't so paranoid about using his skills in public."

"Alright, okay, I get the point." Kitty relented, pushing herself up off the couch, "But don't expect me to help. I'm not helping. You guys think you got this in the bag, then it's all on you. Y'hear me? Don't even ask."

Remy let out a curt laugh and shook his head, "I'm sure we won't need your help."

It wasn't until they had the newly purchased piece of furniture in the apartment service elevator, that Remy finally ate his words. Pyro was trying to hold the continually closing elevator door open while Piotr and he tried to maneuver the rather long sofa out past him. Kitty walked through the couch to stand in the hallway with her arms crossed and a smug little grin on her lips.

"That looks hard, guys."

"That's what she said." Pyro quipped, trying to keep his body as tight against the wall as possible to stay out of the way.

"It's really too bad there wasn't some way to just push the thing right out into the hallway without worrying about walls or doors..." Kitty continued, ignoring Pyro as she had become accustomed to doing often.

"Shut up." Remy snapped from over his shoulder, trying to back the couch out into the hall, "Lower your side a bit."

Piotr frowned, doing as Remy instructed regardless, "Why don't you just admit that we need her help and-"

"No." Remy snapped firmly, "We don't need her help. We got the old couch out just fine, without her help."

"Yes but the old couch seemed to be smaller in width-"

"We can do this." Remy grunted. The couch jammed momentarily against the side of the elevator and Kitty sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth.

"Don't damage the upholstery!"

"It's not damaged." Remy barked, "Pete, push it harder."

"That's what she said." Pyro grinned.

Piotr gave the sofa a good shove, effectively dislodging it from the elevator and successfully getting it out into the hallway.

"Awesome! We're almost there! Now we just have to get it around that corner, down the hall, then around the other corner, and then another corner. But I bet the corners won't be so bad-"

"Quiet!" Remy hissed at her before she could finish mocking him.

It took them another twenty minutes to get the couch all the way down the bendy hall to their door, where Piotr and Remy dropped the couch to try and figure out how to get it inside.

"We'll have to tip it that way and get it in on an angle." Remy explained to Piotr, demonstrating with his hands what he was talking about.

Piotr knit his brow thoughtfully, "You do not think it is too big?"

"That's what she said." Pyro giggled as he meticulously cleared a path through Johnopolis for them to bring the couch in.

"No, it'll fit. It just needs to be at the right angle."

"I don't know Remy, I think its too big to fit." Kitty shook her head before turning to Pyro with her eyebrows raised expectantly.

"That's what she said!" He laughed.

"I am telling you, I've done this before. I know what I am doing. It'll fit dammit! I'll make it fit!" He clipped, hoisting up his end of the couch.

"That's what she said!"

Piotr took the other end and they both maneuvered it on an angle into the doorway. They managed to get it halfway through the door, when the couch lodged firmly into place.

"It is stuck." Piotr sighed.

"That's what she said!"

Remy set his jaw and attempted to wriggle the couch free unsuccessfully.

"It's wedged in there pretty tight, isn't it." Kitty said with a knowing nod as Pyro began to giggle again,

"That's what-" A sharp glare from Remy shut him up before he could finish his joke.

Remy let out a deep dramatic breath of defeat before reluctantly cutting his eyes to Kitty, "Alright. You can help."

Kitty furrowed her brow and crossed her arms, "I can help? I know I can help." She shrugged, "I just choose not to."

Remy clenched his jaw a few times before barring his teeth and trying again, "Will you help."

"Will I help...?"

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes dangerously at her, "Please."

She gave him a wide grin and playfully tapped his nose, "See? Now was that so hard?"

Pyro snorted, "That's what she said. Honestly, I'm on a roll today, ain't I?!"

Kitty strolled over to the couch and placed a hand on the back, "Ready?"

Piotr and Remy both nodded silently and Kitty phased the couch through the doorway, allowing them to get it inside the living room in one, undamaged piece. They set it down in place gently, grateful that the whole ordeal was over.

"No... See... You can't leave it there. It's too far off to the left. It's throwing he dynamics of Johnopolis all off." Pyro shook his head.

"If I hear one more thing about Johnopolis, I'm going to shove city hall so far up your ass that you'll be coughing up Lego bricks for a month." Remy snapped.

"Actually, I hate to agree with Pyro, you know, ever. But he's right." Kitty cocked her head as she eyed the couch with a squint, "It needs to move a little bit to the right."

"I am _not_ moving that thing again." Remy shook his head, moving to the kitchen to get a bottle of water from the fridge. He pulled two out and tossed one to Piotr, "Pete, don't help him. He can move it himself."

"Aw, c'mon!" Pyro whined as he tried to shove the couch with his knee, "Just a little bit that way!"

Kitty rolled her eyes and grabbed the end of the couch, "I'll help you. How hard could it be?" She shrugged as Pyro moved into place across from her.

"It is pretty heavy." Piotr warned, "You would not want to break a nail."

"That is sexist Pete." Kitty frowned.

"I was not talking to you." He grinned.

Pyro gave him a sneer, before counting down to lift in unison. They moved the couch half a foot to the left and Pyro nodded when he was satisfied with the placement, "Alright, here's good."

The moment they bent down to place the couch back down, a sharp pain shot all the way up Kitty's spine, causing her to shout out a cuss. She leaned forward against the arm of the sofa and put a hand on her lower back with another curse.

"What did you do?" Remy frowned.

"My back!" She whimpered, "Oh my GOD! I can't move!"

"Are you okay?" Piotr put his bottled water down and moved towards her.

"Does it look like I'm okay?!" She snapped back, "I've rendered opponents twice my size immobile, and I'm brought down by a couch?!"

"Let's be realistic here," Remy held up a hand, "That's never actually happened. And, to be fair, basically everyone is twice your size."

"You probably just moved wrong and pulled a muscle." Piotr stopped next to her, offering his hand to help her stand straight.

She shouted in pain as she moved and whimpered pathetically, "It hurts!"

"That's what she said!" Pyro grinned, earning him a scowl from both Kitty and Piotr.

Remy sighed and shook his head, "Sense the room, John."


	25. The Funions

_A/N- Reviews are like oxygen. You get too much you get too high, not enough and you're gonna die. Reviews make you high._

Okay, yes. Those are the lyrics to "Love Is Like Oxygen". But I think it gets my point across, right? You don't want me to die, do you? DO YOU?!

_I'm regretting this note, but I've come this far, it seems like a waste to turn back now. Thanks for all your loving words of encouragement. You'll all be happy to know that I actually am finally getting to the real plot of the story.  
_

_And yet again, big ass thank you to _**Lizzieturbo**_ for all of her help. I'm pretty sure my life would suck without you. Yep, Kelly Clarkson. I'm not original enough to think of lame things to say on my own..._

* * *

It was shortly after noon the next day when Rogue rolled into the apartment complex parking lot. She grabbed her bag off the passenger seat and hurried across the lot, glancing at her watch as she hauled the heavy glass door open. Logan was expecting her back in less than two hours, leaving very little time to get down to business. But time restraints had never deterred Remy before, and she was sure he wouldn't let it start now. She punched the button to summon the elevator and waited impatiently for the doors to open. Once the elevator brought her to their floor, she walked swiftly down the hall, opening the door without even bothering to knock.

"Alright Lebeau, I've got a fresh bag of Funions with your name on it. Pants off." She announced, dropping her bag to the ground and tossing her keys onto the island counter. She glanced around the empty living room with a frown. "Remy?"

She moved to check out on the patio when she heard a familiar voice coming from down the hall, causing her to stop and furrow her brow. The voice was slightly muffled, but there was no doubt in her mind that it belonged to Kitty. She turned and started towards the hallway, pausing when she heard a man's voice which very obviously belonged to Remy.

And then she heard Kitty moan, "Harder Remy."

Her eyebrows shot up and she sucked in a breath, trying her best not to make any noise as she tiptoed closer.

"You're doin' it wrong." Pyro's voice filled Rogue's ears and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"I'm pretty experienced Pyro. I know what I'm doing."

"Then shut up and do it!" Kitty demanded, "Harder!"

"I don't want to hurt you!"

"You're not going to hurt me, I can handle it."

"Just relax, Katya." Piotr said calmly, "Move over, I will take it from here."

"I can certainly do better than _you_." Remy scoffed.

Kitty let out a long sigh, "Would someone do _something_ already?" She moaned again, "Oh God..."

Rogue hurried down the hall to Kitty's open bedroom door and was very grateful to see all of its occupants were fully clothed. Kitty was laying on her stomach on her bed with Remy perched on the edge next to her, rubbing her lower back with a frown.

"Do it _harder_!" Kitty barked, "All you're doing is tickling me! And you said you were actually good-"

"I'm not used to doing this for any other purpose than to get into a girls pants." Remy snapped, "The skill doesn't transfer to actual usefulness."

"What the hell?!" Rogue interrupted, causing all four sets of eyes to turn to her in the doorway, "I don't even know- What the hell!?"

"Katya threw her back out yesterday, trying to move our new couch." Piotr supplied, crossing his arms with a frown, "Remy seems to think he can give some sort of magic massage to make her feel better."

"I can! I'm good at this! Back me up here, Rogue."

"Jesus! It sounded like y'all were havin' some kind of sick orgy in here or something!" Rogue rubbed a hand over her face and shook her head, "It's gunna take me a minute to recover."

"You have a sick mind, Rogue." Remy informed her, "This sounds nothing like sex."

"Eeew!" Kitty grimaced, swatting Remy away from her and turning to look at Rogue, "You actually thought that I would- Ew!"

"Look, I took a class for this kinda thing," Pyro shook his head as he flipped through Kitty's CD collection, bringing them back to the topic at hand, "I'm tellin' you, I can do better."

"Unless your secret job is a_ legit_ massage therapist, Pyro, I'm doubting the usefulness of this so-called class." Kitty said with her face buried in her pillow.

"Did it have a happy ending?" Remy smirked, prompting Pyro to chuck a CD at his head.

"Hey! Don't take your anger out on my property!" Kitty snapped.

"So wait a second, back up here." Rogue rubbed her fingertips on her forehead, "You three let her help move the couch?!"

"She barely helped at all." Remy rolled his eyes, "She didn't like where we put it and tried to move it herself."

"And now it feels like I'm dying." Kitty groaned into her pillow, "I can't move, and I almost collapsed in the shower this morning. Thank God I didn't. I just know Pyro would be chomping at the bit to bust down the door and help me out."

Pyro chuckled and gave a little nod, "I would. I'm a gentleman."

"Did you take some Advil or something?" Rogue knit her brow and took a few steps into the room.

"Oh no! I didn't think of _that_." Kitty snipped sarcastically, dropping her face back onto her pillow.

"Apparently being in pain turns her into a giant raving _bitch_." Remy informed Rogue with a frown.

Piotr let out a breath and shook his head, "I am telling you, back home, when the pigs were in labor they would get all worked up and we would have to massage them to calm them down-"

"You are not seriously comparing me to a laboring pig right now, Peter." Kitty gave him a very pointed look, "_Right_?"

"No." He furrowed his brow and looked down, "But it worked for the pigs..."

Kitty buried her face into her pillow again, grumbling about finding a new place to live when Rogue shooed Remy away,

"It's a massage for chrissake, how hard could it be."

Kitty pointed out the painful area and let out a long groan when Rogue dug her thumbs into the spot.

"Right there?"

"Yesss..." Kitty whimpered, "Right there."

Rogue kneaded the spot for a moment, "Do you want it harder?"

"Yes." Kitty moaned.

"Oh, okay..." Remy pursed his lips and nodded, "I'm hearing the sex thing now."

Pyro and Piotr nodded in agreement and Rogue rolled her eyes, "Stupid men."

"_Get out_." Kitty demanded, shooing them out the door with her hand.

"Geeze, see if we try to help you again." Pyro muttered as he followed the other two out the door. Once the room was emptied of testosterone, Kitty craned her neck as far as she could to look back at Rogue.

"So what, you just come over when I'm not here for some afternoon delight? Do you do this often?" Kitty clipped.

"Holy crap, you _are_ a bitch."

"Well my back hurts!" She whined, "And my boss totally threatened to fire me this morning when I called in. I mean, he didn't _say_ that, but he hinted. I heard him hint."

Rogue pressed her elbow into Kitty's lower back and used it to knead the knot, ignoring her crying out in pain.

"To answer your question, no. I don't _do this often_." She began, "I needed some... tension relief."

Kitty grimaced into her pillow, "Tension? What are you tense about?"

Rogue let out a breath dropped her hands into her lap, "I have a date."

Kitty looked back at Rogue over her shoulder, ignoring the searing pain the simple movement caused and stared at her friend, "Seriously? Like, a real date?!"

"No, a fake date. He's actually a hologram."

Kitty rolled her eyes, waiting for Rogue to elaborate beyond her sarcasm.

"I met him... at Starbucks. A few weeks ago." She pressed her lips together to hide a smile, "His name's Holden."

Kitty pushed herself up to a sitting position as carefully as she could and propped her pillow up on her headboard to lean against, "Like, _Catcher in the Rye_?"

Rogue grinned and looked down at her hands, "We bonded over the barista getting our names wrong on our cups. She wrote _Rose_ on mine. He was telling me that Rose was a pretty name." She laughed.

"So... you have a date. And your first instinct is to come here and screw around with Gambit." Kitty frowned.

"_No_, that was not my first instinct." Rogue snipped, "My first instinct was to panic. Actually dating someone freaks me out, Kit. This was Remy's idea, you know, to let off some steam."

Kitty sighed and shook her head, "Your relationship gives me a headache."

"I told you Kit, it's not a relationship-"

"Right, right, bros with benefits." Kitty cut her off with a wave, "So tell me about this Holden guy. Is he cute?"

"Definitely a 9." Rogue smirked, "Broad shoulders, bright blue eyes, wavy black hair..."

"Oooo, momma like." Kitty grinned mischievously, "Nice body?"

"Hell yeah." Rogue nodded, "I wouldn't mind licking nacho cheese off his abs, I'll tell you that much."

Kitty grimaced, "Gross."

"But he's also really funny. And nice, and he seems pretty smart." Rogue added as she continued to nod.

"Wow, you that all that from one conversation about coffee cups?" Kitty snorted.

Rogue offered her a sarcastic smile in response.

"How exactly is this going to work then, you go out on dates with this Starbucks guy, and then come to Remy for some nookie?" Kitty raised an eyebrow.

"No. As of tonight, no more Remy. The only reason I started fooling around with Remy in the first place is because I've yet to meet a decent guy who isn't freaked the hell out by my mutation." Rogue shrugged, "Maybe Holden's one of the good ones."

"I guess."

Rogue pursed her lips for a moment, "So, I feel like I may regret asking this, but why exactly did y'all need to buy a new couch?"

Kitty sighed and rolled her eyes, "Pyro was trying to impress Anya with his lighter party tricks."

"Oh boy." Rogue winced, "And Anya is..."

"Pete's ballerina girlfriend." Kitty gave her head a shake, "That girl is definitely a fish out of water around here. She's so uptight. And frankly, a little bit of a bigot."

Rogue quirked an eyebrow and waited for Kitty to elaborate.

"She just... she's a little bit wary of the whole mutant thing. I mean, I get it. Not all of us are... _safe_. As Pyro demonstrated." Kitty shrugged, "But she's basically written Remy off completely, just because of his eyes. And she doesn't want to see Pete's mutation at all. Like it's some kind of deformity. Like a third nipple that he has to hide."

Both of Rogue's eyebrows shot upwards and she blinked at Kitty, "Seriously?"

"Yep."

"I'd like to give this little miss thing a piece of my mind." She sniffed, "I mean, Pyro, I get. But not even wanting to see your own boyfriend using his ability because you're what... creeped out? And there is _nothing_ wrong with Remy's eyes. I happen to like Remy's eyes. I mean, it's not like I'm gunna start writing sonnets about his glowing red orbs or some crap, but damn. What the hell is wrong with this bitch?"

"I know... but I can see her apprehension. Like, Dr. McCoy. He's pretty intimidating looking, right? It can take a bit to get used to, especially if you've never really been exposed to mutants before." Kitty pursed her lips and let out a long breath, "And she's... _trying_..."

Rogue leaned back and eyed Kitty for a moment, "What the hell is wrong with _you_? Why are you sticking up for this girl?!"

"Pete really seems to like her." Kitty's shoulders slumped and she let out another sigh, "He's always saying that the guys scare away all of his girlfriends... I feel bad."

"I don't think that sticking up for the uptight bigot is the appropriate move, Kit. Maybe this time you should just let nature take its course. Live and let die, kinda thing."

"She's really not that bad." Kitty frowned, "I'm sure she's not. Pete has to see _something_ in her."

"I don't see why you feel the need to spend a ton of time and effort shoving carrots and sugar cubes under this chicks nose just so Piotr can bringing her home to bang her." Rogue rolled her eyes, "You're not the jerk whisperer."

"If I was, I could totally have my own TLC show. You totally know I could." Kitty pointed out with a grin.

Rogue smiled thoughtfully in return, offering her a single nod, "I'd watch that."


	26. The Dinner

"This is exactly where I want to be on my night off." Remy grumbled. He pulled the chair back, scraping it along the floor and flopping down in it. He shot a glare towards Kitty as she sat down to his left, "_Chili's_."

"What are you bitchin' about?" Rogue rolled her eyes, lifting a menu up and glancing over the selection, "You get the employee discount."

"Ain't worth it." He pouted, watching Piotr slide into the booth across from him. Pyro sat at the end of the table across from Rogue and offered Remy a shit eating grin,

"What's the soup de jour, mate?"

Remy muttered some very unsavory comments in his native language and Piotr nervously glanced at his watch, "She is running late, but I am sure she will be here soon."

"I get why we're havin' this dinner and all, you know, to apologize for being _us_," Pyro turned to Piotr with a frown, "But why's _she_ here." He jerked a thumb towards Rogue who looked up from her menu with a shrug.

"I'm here for the show."

Piotr let out a breath and worked the muscles in his jaw, prompting Kitty to give Rogue's shin a kick from under the table.

Rogue to give her eyes a roll and look back down at her menu,

"I'm kidding. What, I'm not allowed to tag along? Just because Remy and I aren't layin' the pipe anymore, I'm suddenly not allowed to hang out?" She snorted and gave her head a shake, "Looks like you're gunna have to start puttin' out there Kit."

"You have _got_ to stop absorbing Logan, Rogue." Kitty shook her head with a deep frown, "You sound like a dirty trucker."

Remy gave Rogue a nostalgic half smile, "I miss her already."

"Sorry buddy," Rogue shrugged, "If Starbucks Guy doesn't work out you can lace those work boots back up, how's that sound?"

Piotr pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, "Please just... be nice." He let out a breath and continued to shake his head, "Normal. Please just be normal."

"So you want us to act like_ Leave it to Beaver_." Remy summarized with a scoff, "He's censoring us."

"What is the big deal with this girl, Pete?" Rogue dropped her menu and folded her hands on top of it, "I gotta say, she sounds like a big pain in the ass. She'd better be worth the headache."

Pyro snorted, "She's a ballerina, Rogue. A _ballerina_! Think of the stamina she'd have..."

"She is not a headache." Piotr frowned, ignoring Pyro's insinuation, "I care about her. We have a lot in common-"

"Like what?" Remy snorted, "Sex doesn't count." He hesitated, looking at Kitty through the corner of his eye quizzically, "Right?"

Kitty gave him a silent reassuring nod.

"We both have similar backgrounds." Piotr explained, "We understand one another."

"Alright, so you're both from Russia and you both speak Russian." Rogue summarized, "What else?"

Piotr knit his brow, "No, that is not what-" he looked up past Rogue with a smile, bringing their conversation to a close, "Anya."

"I am sorry I'm late." She said, clutching her purse close to her body, "Rehearsal ran late." She slid into the booth next to Piotr, resulting in her sitting directly across from Remy, "I hope you were not waiting long."

"Not at all, chere." Remy gave her his best charm-oozing smile, "Besides, you're worth the wait."

Anya pressed her lips into a line and nodded, tucking a few stray red hairs behind her ear as she adjusted in her seat, avoiding making any eye contact with him.

A bottle blonde waitress came to a stop next to their table with a polite smile, "Can I get you guys something to drink?" She caught sight of Remy and recognition glimmered in her eyes, "Oh hey Remy!"

Remy offered her a tight lipped smile, "Cindy." He said with a nod.

She gave Pyro's shoulder a friendly little squeeze, "I'm not used to seeing you guys here in such a big party. What can I get you?"

"The usual for us," Remy jerked his thumb between the three guys, "She'll have the same." He inclined his head towards Rogue, "And she'll have something fruity with a stupid mini umbrella." He nodded towards Kitty.

Cindy nodded as she scribbled the orders down on her notepad, and Rogue frowned at Kitty,

"I know I should feel offended right now, but he was right, wasn't he?"

Kitty shrugged and gave her a nod, "How about you Anya?" She asked in an attempt to make new girl feel welcome.

"I will just have water."

"Ahhh, just water?!" Pyro frowned at Anya, leaning back casually in his chair and looking up at Cindy with a wink, "Why don't you get her an apple martini, on me?"

"_No._" Piotr said quickly, looking up at Cindy with a smile, "No apple martini's." He looked back at Pyro and glared, knowing that an apple martini was what he would order when he was secretly requesting the birthday song.

"Okay, I'll be back with those drinks in a minute." She gave Piotr an understanding nod before offering Remy a parting wink as she turned on her heel and left.

"So that's Cindy." Rogue grinned, "Funny, I never pictured you with a blonde."

Remy dropped his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his fist with a smarmy smile, "You enjoy picturing Remy with other women, Rougey?"

"Oh yeah, that's how I get my rocks off." Rogue snorted, getting her a swift kick to the shin underneath the table.

Kitty gave her a wide-eyed warning look as Anya knit her brow at Rogue,

"You two are... together?"

"Hmm?" Rogue blinked, suddenly remembering Piotr's plea for normalcy, "Us?"

"No." Remy chuckled, draping his arm over the back of his chair, "We just fool around-"

Kitty stomped on his foot and he concealed a wince, "Play around. Like that. You know fun repartee..." He added, sliding Kitty a sharp glare through the corner of his eye.

Anya folded her hands on her lap and nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on the condiments in the centre of the table, "I see."

"I have actually started seeing someone." Rogue looked at Piotr in an attempt to backpedal the conversation a bit, "I mean, it's only been one date, but we're going out again on Saturday, so that's good."

After a small lull in the conversation, Kitty sucked in a breath and straightened her back with a smile, "So Anya, how is the show coming along?"

"Fine." Anya answered, looking up at Kitty with a tiny nod, "It is hard to believe that the show opens so soon, but I am sure we will be prepared."

"Good!" Kitty nodded with a little bit too much enthusiasm, "Practice makes perfect right?"

Anya replied with a stale smile.

There was yet another awkward lull in the conversation as they all went over the menu, deciding what would be the fastest meal to consume in order to get this dinner from hell over with. Eventually, Pyro slapped the table with a triumphant smile,

"We got a new couch!" He announced, as if he'd spent the entire time just trying to think of something to say.

"We did!" Kitty pointed at him and nodded in agreement.

"It's brown." Remy added for good measure, and Rogue snorted, laughing silently into her menu.

"Kitty threw her back out moving it in." Pyro shrugged and tossed his menu on the table, "We all tried giving her a good rub down but-"

Kitty gave Pyro a swift kick in the shin to shut him up, but the damage was done. Anya's eyebrows shot up into her hairline and she turned her scandalized attention to Kitty.

"It's not like _that_."

"Sure as hell sounded like it." Rogue muttered, earning her a murderous glare from Kitty. She quickly turned back to Anya and shook her head,

"I couldn't move, I was off work for two days over it." She explained.

"She is still having trouble with it." Piotr supplied.

Anya lifted her chin slightly as she stared Kitty down, "A bad back is a sign of poor posture."

Kitty blinked before nodding slowly, "Okay."

They were in danger of enduring some more awkward silence when Piotr put his arm around Anya and turned his attention towards Rogue, "So you had a date, yes? How did that go?"

Rogue looked up, glancing at Kitty quickly before nodding, "It was fine Pete," She pursed her lips, "We went down to the malt shop and shared a milk shake, and he almost held my hand! Can you believe it?!"

Piotr did not look amused by her sarcasm, but everyone else -excluding Anya- laughed along with her.

Cindy returned with her tray of drinks and Kitty let out a sigh of relief. She placed the drinks in front of everyone, maybe lingering a moment longer than necessary in front of Remy before straightening up and tucking the tray under her arm,

"Are you all ready to order?"

"Is there anything on the menu that is vegan friendly?" Anya asked looking up at Cindy with a raised eyebrow.

"Uhhhm... I'm not..." She looked at Remy and shrugged, "I guess I could check with the cook?"

Anya sighed, "I will just have a plate of steamed vegetables."

The other five placed their orders, and Cindy scribbled them all down quickly before tucking her pen back into her half apron with a smile. She glanced around quickly before leaning down next to Remy, letting her lips brush his ear as she whispered,

"I have a couple of shifts I need to switch..."

Remy cleared his throat, ignoring the sharp look Piotr was sending his way, "Yeah we can... discuss that later."

"Some more of that_ fun repartee_?" Anya asked snidely.

Rogue sucked in a breath, preparing to give Anya an earful when Remy put a hand on her knee and gave it a tight squeeze, keeping the polite smile on his face.

"You might say that, chere." He replied, unable to make eye contact with her at all, "Although there isn't much _repartee_ going on."

"You know," Kitty cut in, thoughtfully pointing in the direction Cindy walked off in, "She's really pretty. But that red shirt is totally not her colour."

Piotr smirked, grateful for the sudden change of subject. "Is that so?"

"Oh absolutely. She is _definitely_ a Summer." Kitty nodded with a grin, "They can't handle that kind of depth of colour."

"You just said _they_," Piotr smiled back, "I thought you said _you_ were a Summer."

"I've been thinking about what Janice from accounting said." Kitty's brow pinched together playfully, "She may be onto something. I could totally be a Spring."

Anya knit her brow and looked between Kitty and Piotr, "I am confused, you are talking about seasons?"

"This is Katya's fall back plan," Piotr explained, keeping his wry grin fixed on Kitty, "She is going to become a style consultant."

"It's not a bad idea!" Kitty laughed, "I made _you_ look good."

"I am sorry, _Katya_?" Anya raised an eyebrow, looking back to Piotr, "You call her _Katya_."

"It's just a name." Kitty said, sensing Piotr's hesitation.

"It just seems very..." Anya cleared her throat, looking back at Kitty, "Intimate."

"No," Piotr chuckled with a casual wave, "It is nothing-"

"It's an American thing, Sheila." Pyro supplied, "Roommates give each other goofy nicknames here."

"So, you all have a nickname for _Katya_?" Anya asked Pyro with a quirked eyebrow.

"Course we do. Besides," Remy cut in with a smooth grin, draping his arm over Kitty's shoulders, "You don't need to worry about this one. Everyone knows she's kind of got a thing for me." He looked down at her with a wink, "Ain't that right, minette?"

Kitty furrowed her brow at him with a grimace before eventually picking up Remy's cue, "Oh! Yes, it's true. I find Remy very sexually attractive. But sadly, we can never be together. His heart belongs to another."

Anya looked Remy in the eye for the first time and her brow pinched with sincerity, "It is very good that you are able to find women who are not off-put by your obvious... um... disfigurement?"

A thick silence fell over the table. Remy's smile instantly turned stale as he held Anya's stare. She looked up at Piotr after a few moments "I am sorry... is that not the right word? I am-"

"No, petite, it's fine." Remy gave her a calm smile, "You're right, it can be hard for people to see past certain things. I am pretty lucky."

She gave him a tight lipped smile and uncomfortably shifted her eyes away.

"It's really not a _disfigurement_." Rogue clarified as nicely as she could make herself, feeling Remy's hand squeeze her knee again, a little bit tighter than necessary.

Anya frowned at Rogue, "I did not mean-"

"Anybody wanna see a trick?" Pyro cut in with a wide grin, holding his lighter out in front of Anya. Everyone answered with a firm and unanimous _no, _and Pyro pouted before taking a long swig of his beer.

"You'll burn a friggin' hole in the table." Kitty mumbled, "And I am _not_ helping you pay for a new Chili's table."

Remy chuckled with a snort, "I'm more concerned about my face. Don't give a shit about the damn table." He took a swig of his beer before letting out a breath and announcing that he was going out for a smoke, snatching the lighter away from Pyro, just in case.

He made his way outside, rounding the building to the back, sitting down hard on one of the cement blocks in the alley where people take their smoke breaks.

Leaning back against the brick wall, he scrubbed a hand over his face with a sigh of relief. Sweet silence. Even if the alley way smelled faintly of garbage, it was still better than sitting across the table from that woman. He was _trying_. He was trying so hard to like her for Piotr's sake, but she was just fundamentally unlikeable. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, inhaling deeply to let the nicotine help calm him down. After a few minutes, he heard someone clear their throat. His eyes popped open and Rogue offered him a half smile.

"You okay?"

"Fine." He shrugged, "I just have this horrible ringing in my ears, but it seems to be gone now."

She laughed, sitting down next to him on the cement block and folding her hands on her lap. "I almost reached across that table and punched her snobby little nose in."

"I know you did." Remy laughed lightly, "It's fine, Rogue. I'm used to it."

"Just because you're used to it doesn't make it _fine_." Rogue countered, looking at him through the corner of her eye, "You don't deserve that."

He took another hit of his cigarette, blowing out the smoke in a long breath as he rested his head against the brick wall, "You're readin' too far into it, chere. I'm fine."

"Don't you _chere_ me." Rogue raised an eyebrow, "I'm not reading too far into jack shit. I know you, Remy. And if you say the word _fine_ again, I'll bitch slap you."

He pursed his lips and knit his brow, staring at the building across from him silently.

"What are you doing out here anyways, you don't smoke." Remy asked, taking another puff, "Unless Remy's startin' to rub off on you in more ways than one? Hmm?" The corner of his mouth tugged upwards and Rogue gave him a pointed look.

She didn't bother answering his question, instead slipping her hand into the crook of his arm and pulling him closer, "There's nothing wrong with you."

He nodded silently. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before Remy flicked the butt of his cigarette away and stood up.

"You good?" She asked, accepting his proffered hand and allowing him to help her to her feet before dusting off the seat of her pants.

"Yep." He said with a single nod, leading the way back inside.

When they'd made it back to the table, their dinner had arrived and everyone had already begun, likely in order to make this horribly uncomfortable time go by as quickly as possible. Remy returned to his seat across from Anya as she was informing Piotr of the caloric value in the steak he was about to eat.

"Actually, she's right." Remy shook his head, reluctantly agreeing with the girl, "Basically everything on the menu is loaded with sodium. I never eat here, unless I'm forced to..." He glared at Kitty through the corner of his eye.

"You work here though, yes?" Anya asked her steamed vegetables.

"I'm a bartender."

She slid her gaze to Pyro and quirked an eyebrow, "Do you work?"

"Yep." Pyro answered simply before proceeding to cram a handful of fries into his mouth.

Anya pressed her lips together in a small insincere smile, waiting for him to elaborate further.

When Pyro realized this he swallowed hard and cleared his throat, "Oh you know... it's really not a big deal. It's just- I don't- It's just a... day job." He shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in his chair when he realized everyone else was waiting to hear his answer as well. "I'm... in the service industry." He nodded, considering this for a moment before nodding more enthusiastically, "Yeah. The _service industry_."

Kitty narrowed her eyes, "Mail carrier."

"Butler." Remy grinned.

"Ooh!" Rogue lit up, "Cabana Boy!"

Piotr grinned at Anya's very confused reaction and shook his head, "He has never told us specifically what he does."

Anya frowned, "That is odd."

"We figure it's probably something pretty embarrassing." Kitty explained, "Like Hooters!"

"McDonalds." Rogue pointed at him with her fork.

"Janitor at McDonalds."

Pyro sneered at them, dropping his attention to the food on his plate with great interest.

"It is likely something immoral." Anya said as she stabbed her fork into some steamed broccoli, "Like a male stripper."

"No, we already tried that one." Kitty shook her head, "Although he says he works from home, which isn't _entirely_ true. I've seen him "go to work" a few times, so I wouldn't put it past him to lie..."

"It really would make the flame design more understandable." Rogue added sensibly, making Kitty cringe and take a nice long gulp of her umbrella drink.

Anya scrunched up her nose, wisely deciding not to inquire any further when suddenly her purse began to sing _Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy_. "Oh no," She muttered, digging her phone out of her purse. She inspected the display, glancing up at Piotr with a frown, "It is my Director. I have to take this."

She punched the talk button and slid out of the booth and scurried for the front door.

Piotr smiled hopefully, "It is going well, right?"

Kitty pressed her lips into a thin line once she realized no one else was jumping out of their seats to answer, "Sure." She smiled.

"She is nervous." He explained, "She wants to make a good impression."

Kitty's grin wavered slightly and she gave him a slow nod, "Sure."

Piotr turned to Remy with a frown, "I am sure she did not mean... you know."

"_Sure_." Rogue clipped pointedly.

Anya returned to the table and shot out a breath, "One of the dancers broke her ankle, doing a pole dance on a bar." She explained, "We all have to go back and rehearse with the understudy."

Piotr knit his brow and nodded, "Oh, of course. I will walk you out." He said, handing her purse to her before sliding out of the booth. She slipped her phone back inside and gave them all a small, award smile and wave,

"It was," She hesitated, "Interesting."

"Take care!" Kitty called out after them as they turned to leave, "Why couldn't he have brought home the one who broke her ankle? Pole dancing on a bar... that chick sounds like **fun**." She muttered, gaining her a silent fist bump from Pyro.

X-X-X-X

Piotr put his hand on the small of Anya's back, leading her through the restaurant and out the front door. She lead the way to her compact car unlocking the door with the key fob and turned to Piotr with a smile.

"That went better."

She splayed her hands on his chest and tipped her chin up to look him in the eye as his arms circled around her, "It was... alright, I guess. They seem a little, I don't know. Immature."

"You will get used to their ways." He said with a wry grin, "I want you to be comfortable coming home with me. You know you are always welcome."

"About that." Anya began, sliding her hands up his chest and resting her arms around his neck, "I was thinking that, it would be nice if we had some more privacy."

"Okay?"

"I think you should move in with me."

Piotr blinked at her for a moment silently, "Really?"

"I know it is soon. We have not been dating long, but I think it would be good for you. To be... on your own. You are a grown man Piotr," Anya stated as she twisted her fingers into his hair, "You do not need to be living with the Three Stooges."

Piotr knit his brow and shook his head, "I don't-"

"Just think about it, yes?"

He thought for a minute, before giving her a nod, "I will think about it."

"Good." She grinned, standing on her tip toes to plant a kiss on his lips, "I know you will make the right choice."


End file.
